Kaleb & Ren

Havisham College Class of 2020

January 20th, 2020

Death was a funny thing when you were young. It could touch you in ways that you didn’t expect, especially if you were unfamiliar with it. Kaleb didn’t even know Lucy. Not really. The face was familiar but that was all. He wasn’t one to mess with clubs and she hadn’t been a member of either society. Nor had her family been one that he had reason to know. And yet there was still something deeply unsettling about the death of the young girl that he just couldn’t shake. Not as mortality reached out and ran it’s fingers up his spine.

It wasn’t so much death that had been brought into focus for him but the grim reminder of life. Life and the fact that he was nothing but his family’s money and legacy and his father’s political power. All things that were not really his own and a stark reminder that he used all of that to his advantage without actually doing anything.

In asking himself who was Lucy Rohrbach, he had ended up faced with the question that he never liked to ask himself and what was who was Kaleb Langston. If that had been him, what would people be saying about him. Sure, Kaleb was an okay guy but what was he really doing in life?

He had paid his respects and then like most had quietly slipped away on his own. He had been walking along the pathways with an illusion of invisibility pulled up so he’d be left alone. At least until he spotted someone else walking along one of the paths as well. The one person who Kaleb knew to get stuck in his head worse than he did his own.

Kaleb waited until he was up next to Ren before he dropped the spell, seeming to appear out of nowhere while pulling out a cigarette to light up. “I’m not sure any of us should be out walking alone right now.”

The sound of Kaleb’s voice was the only thing that kept Ren jumping three feet into the air. He gave Kaleb a light shove on the shoulder with his gloved hands in consternation for him appearing out of thin air, but fell easily into step with him.

“Well thank you then, good sir, for being my knight in shining armour while I make this treacherous journey back to the Firehouse.” It was said in a light tone, in the teasing lilt of Ren’s usual manner. Trying to keep things light, even as the sombre air of the vigil lingered in the space between them.

Silence fell upon them again. But Ren was comfortable in it. The silence and Kaleb’s company both. Being with Kaleb was easy. It was like breathing and taking in oxygen—a constant of his life and something he needed too. The other’s presence grounded him, in a time that seemed shrouded with uncertainty and grief.

“What do you think happened?” Ren asked finally, quietly. Even as the possibilities appeared in his mind. The image of Lucy in her brilliant red hair walking down a path not unlike this one, to a destination unknown, only to somehow end up the next morning, still as a doorpost, lying in the middle of the quad.

“That is the million dollar question isn’t,” Kaleb replied, exhaling smoke into the night. What had happened to Lucy? Was it something like a freak heart attack or was it something more than that. “I don’t have any theories but I don’t like the fact that Flamita went out before it happened. Or is still out.”

Miles name for the Eternal Flame was something that was always going to stick no matter what, but even using the ridiculous name right now didn’t take away the heaviness of it all. If it had been natural would the flame have gone out like it did? So far the other account Theodore had found and Flamita going out as a warning of bad things happening. If the bad thing was over, why was the flame still out?

“I know it makes me a terrible person, which I’ve never denied or claimed not to be to start with, but I’m just glad it was not our party she was coming home from when it happened.” What a fucking mess that would have been. Bad enough it was their flame that went out. Not that anyone outside the society currently knew about that.

The sight of the Firehouse looming in the distance was a welcome one. Despite what he had found out upon entering the Order, some of his happiest moments had been here in this brick red house with his friends. And now, in such sombre times, being here was possibly the best and only place he wanted to be.

"Does it?" Ren asked. "I thought the same." That thankfully it hadn't been the order throwing the first party. That his friends didn't have to deal with the legal repercussions. He bumped Kaleb's shoulder lightly with his own. "I think it makes you only human."

A small, encouraging smile.

Kaleb couldn’t help but smile back before he took another drag. “Then I guess it’s not too awful a thought if you’ve had it as well.” Of the two of them, Kaleb knew he was the bad influence. He was always the one coming up with the bad ideas first and then dragging everyone into them with him.

“And it bought us a couple more days before classes start.” It was something that he could understand but at the same time Kaleb couldn’t help but wonder if carrying on as usual would of been better. But at least it brought them more time to see if the flame came back. “Which Offensive Magic? Really, Ren?” He raised an eyebrow in question at his oldest friend.

They walked up the steps of the front porch to the Firehouse and Ren could hear the telltale sounds of chatter behind the doors, just in time for Kaleb's expression of disbelief which caused a spot of pink to appear high on Ren's cheekbones.

He made a despairing sound that was not entirely distinguishable. "Stop. I already know I am going to flunk that class." He reached for the door of the firehouse. "But at least I guess I'll have you and Miles to lean on."

Kaleb gave Ren a wink. “If anyone can get you through it, it’s Miles and I.” Mostly because if Kaleb had to, he’d find some way to cheat his way through the class. Or in this case, Ren’s way through it. Not that cheating was how he normally passed his classes. Given the amount of time he spent studying, or rather his lack of it, and his ability to still do well he knew that some wondered. Kaleb could hardly blame them. After all given his art of illusion, cheating was what he did best.

Stepping into the Firehouse, others that had made it back before them were scattered about discussing the same thing they had been the last few days, only the mood seemed even more somber than usual given everyone’s return from the vigil. Not feeling the least bit social, Kaleb headed right for the stairs, his long legs clearing them quickly as he headed for his room.

For all intents and purposes, though it might as well have been considered Ren’s as well given the amount of time he spent in it and the amount of his stuff that could be found around it.

Ren wasn't shy about it either. He made right for the corner of Kaleb's room that he liked to think of as his, with the beanbag and a plush, infinitely comfy blanket draped over it and got settled in it quickly.

"Speaking of Miles, what are you both going to do about Flamita?" he asked as he wrapped himself in the blanket and picked up the book he had been halfway through earlier, looking for all intents and purposes like he was settling in for the long haul.

“Well, I think Miles needs to start off with buying her some flowers and sending an apology note for whatever he did to offend her,” Kaleb managed to joke while he ditched his tie and jacket. Next he unbuttoned his shelves and rolled them up before letting out a sigh. He fell back on his bed and stared up at the ceiling.

“Honestly though, I have no clue. If it goes out when bad things happen, why hasn’t it turned back on? I keep wondering if there’s a giant reset button that we’re overlooking.”

Ren was quiet for a moment. Or perhaps there’s more coming. Though he didn’t want to share that morose thought. It was probably something that lingered in the backs of all the minds of the Order members, just unspoken, but lingering.

He stared at the long legs of Kaleb peeking out just from the edge of the bed, staring at nothing, then sighed softly. He didn’t like it when Kaleb and Miles were upset. And they obviously were. Everyone on campus had been affected by the tragedy in some way or other. It was in the air, in the downcast faces of the juniors, the frightened looks of the freshmen. And here with Kaleb, it was in the things left unsaid between them.

His own hands were still gloved, and Ren removed them now that he was finally back within safe zone (Kaleb’s room counted as a safe zone to him). “I think if there was such a thing, Theodore would have found that out for us by now,” Ren pointed out gently. Even if that brought them no closer to an answer. Theodore was excellent as their historian, after all.

It was true. If there was there would be copies of it all under their doors already with an emailed copy to boot. The fact that there wasn’t—well it wasn’t a thought that Kaleb really cared to dwell on all that much.

“I think at this point it’s just a matter of how long do we go before we tell anyone.” It was bad enough that it was known throughout the Order that the flame was out. It had gone and they had told no one and bad things happened. If they had said something the moment they knew would it have saved Lucy’s life? No likely since it wasn’t like Flamita had left a big neon sign pointing to what was up. And now she wasn’t back.

Kaleb finally rolled over to his side and propped his head up on his arm so that he could look at Ren. “Maybe it just takes time for it to reignite. And maybe I’m starting to obsess about Miles’ girlfriend as much as he does.”

Ren looked up from the edge of the book he was reading at the movement on the bed, eyes flickering over Kaleb quickly before returning once again to his book. “Maybe you are,” he smiled, indulgent. Flamita being Miles’ girlfriend was the running joke amongst all of the Order members. But most of all between the three of them.

He flipped a page of his book, grateful that he’d finally gotten rid of the gloves so he could feel the texture of the crisp paper under his thumbs. It was why reading electronic books never really appealed to Ren. He liked the textures of things; liked to touch and feel them for himself. Just not people.

“If it’s going to bother the two of you so much, then you should,” Ren said after awhile, though he was still clearly distracted by his book. “Tell someone, I mean. The President. Or one of the staff you trust. You don’t need all that extra weight on your shoulders.” Of guilt. Of not-knowing. Of what ifs and should I and everything in between that would wear at the soul.

Ren knew this well.

“Tell someone,” Kaleb parroted back, looking almost aghast at the very idea of it. Tell someone and admit that they had no idea what was going on or what to do about it? That wasn’t very likely to happen. After all wasn’t it their job to figure this out? They wouldn't be very good leaders of a secret society if at the first sign of trouble they ran to someone for help. “That...almost sounds like a responsible adult thing to do. Don’t talk like that or you’re likely to give me the vapors and have to have a drink.”

Which actually a drink didn’t sound bad but that would mean going back downstairs and right now Kaleb was content to not move.

Flopping back on to his back, he stared at the ceiling once more.

“I don’t know. Maybe. I’ll give it some thought.”

Ren didn’t have to touch Kaleb to catch the note of slight panic in Kaleb’s tone. For all that Kaleb and Miles were the figures of authority in the Order, they were still only just twenty-two. It was easy to forget the feelings of guilt and responsibility placed on the shoulders of a boy he had grown up with. He looked up from the book he was reading, noted the pensive mood Kaleb was in, and closed his book.

He scooted onto Kaleb’s bed, nudging the other young man aside insistently to make room for himself, and lay down by Kaleb’s side, staring up at the same ceiling that Kaleb did. Lying like this, he could feel the heat from Kaleb’s body seeping through their clothes, pressing against his side, a source of comfort.

“It’ll be okay,” Ren announced, in the soft but certain way of his. “You’ll see.”

Kaleb didn’t bother looking over at Ren, just took in the comfort of having him lying there next to him on the bed. How many times had they done this when Kaleb was in a mood? Certainly more times that he could remember or count. Ren’s presence was one with no pressure or expectation. One that always steadied Kaleb when he needed it.

As they stared at the ceiling, Kaleb worked a simple illusion spell that only called for a few gestures of his hands so that all of a sudden colored light took over the ceiling and danced across it like the Aurora Borealis so that they were no longer looking at nothing, causing Ren to give a delighted and appreciative sound. Kaleb gave Ren a playful nudge after he did.

“I suppose it will be, won’t it? After all, it’s not like it’s the end of the world.” Even if Kaleb’s flare for the dramatic sometimes made him react otherwise.

Ren stretched out a hand, fingers nearly grasping the lights that seemed within reach. He was well acquainted with the intricacies of Kaleb's magic--could tell illusion from truth--but occasionally, dreaming was nice too.

He closed a fist around the imaginary lights, holding onto that tiny ray of hope, a small smile on his face. "Whatever comes, we will face it together."

Like they always have.

February 5th, 2020

Getting called in for questioning about a death you had nothing to do with was bad enough. Especially when one got grilled extensively on one’s magic and just what he could and could not do with it. What made it worse was the fact that Kaleb had to call the family lawyer to bring in on this and he knew that the moment he made the call that his father would be told.

Sure enough by the time the Bureau of Magical Crime was done with their questioning, August Langston, Otherworld Senator for Massachusetts was standing outside waiting to have a word with his son and find out what was going on. Following that their conversion had spiraled into the same one they kept having everytime they were around each other.

Needless to say that Kaleb was in a mood by the time he made it back to the Firehouse and up to his room.

There was a bit of relief for him though when he came in and saw that Ren was already there in his usual spot. “My mother hasn’t called you yet has she?” It was Fashion Week which meant that both of their mothers were together in New York and so if Kaleb was lucky there was some delay in his mother finding out. Right now he didn’t have it in him to assure her that everything was okay.

Ren looked up as Kaleb came into the room, a worried frown marring his features. He had been wearing that same crease between his brows that day since the moment Kaleb told him about the BMC wanting to speak to him.

He shook his head at Kaleb's question. "They're both in New York." Which meant that Kaleb's father hadn't had the opportunity to tell his wife about the news yet.

Ren shifted so he was sitting straighter, looking uncharacteristically solemn, his attention fixed on his friend. "What did they ask you?"

Kaleb flopped down on his bed looking exhausted and utterly defeated. “We had a very long and thorough discussion about what I can and can not do with my spellcasting. They weren’t exactly thrilled that I know a telekinesis spell, never mind that I use it to show off and mix drinks at parties, not go around murdering people I didn’t even know.”

Which small favors for that. It probably would have looked a lot worse than it already did if he had known her, given him more reason to have strangled her to death in the middle of the night out on the quad.

“Then we had a chat about just how well I knew Lucy.”

Ren frowned. The conversation sounded like a full-on questioning. He hesitated to use the word interrogation. But what were they doing suspecting random students at Havisham? Were the authorities really so spooked? What happened to protecting the rights of the students?

He was quiet for a moment, biting his lip. “Something must really have them concerned.” Beyond just the fact that it was a murder happening on school grounds. For them to go around questioning students based on mere guesswork and suspicions instead of actual leads and motives, the net must be unutterably wide.

“What do you suppose it is that they’re not telling us?” Ren said at last. “If it was just an ordinary investigation, even if it was a murder one, I don’t think they’d be screening all the students simply with potential like this without even motives. There has to be something. Something they’re not telling us to prevent us from all panicking.” But without knowing that information, how could they protect themselves?

“Or they’re getting pressure from up high after they fucked up and that report got leaked before Lucy’s family was even told.” Kaleb didn’t like the thought that maybe there was something more than the BMC just being bad at their jobs and trying to cover for it. But Ren had a point when the only connections Kaleb had was the means to do it and to be at the same party Lucy had been at.

What if they were wrong and she hadn’t even been strangled by magic at all but something else?

“You’d think they’d also want to have a solid reason before they started questioning the children of senators.” That was actually kind of ballsy on their part. Too many of the students here had political connections to just be randomly pulling them for questioning. Especially when things like information on their abilities could have been gotten from administration. “My father was anything but happy about the situation.”

Ren abandoned his position on the beanbag and got up to join Kaleb on the bed, encouraging the other to scoot over a little to make room for them both.

"He didn't give you an earful?" The langstons were an important family in the magical community and Kaleb's father even more so. Ren, never having had a father figure in a single day of his life, envied Kaleb even for the tough love that his father always seemed to have for him. Even more so than Kaleb himself.

"You should let your mom know." The unspoken it will happen sooner or later was plain to them both. Because any moment now Kaleb's father was going to tell his wife. And that was about the time she would start calling. "She'd want to hear from you."

“Oh he gave me an earful all right. It all managed to lead right into us having our favorite topic of discussion that we keep on having. So thanks BMC officers for making it so I couldn’t just keep avoiding my father.” Kaleb wasn’t any closer to figuring out just what he planned on doing with his life than he had been at the beginning of the school year. It was a fact that his father very strongly frowned upon since he believed his son should have it figured out by now.

Sighing, Kaleb leaned his head over on Ren’s shoulder for comfort then made sure his inner turmoil was locked down before he reached over and hooked his pinky around Ren’s. Having dealt with both his mother and Ren since a young age he had built up pretty decent mental shields even before having taken Protecting the Mind one semester to build them up even stronger. It was more so to not overwhelm Ren than it was to hide anything from him.

“I know. I’ll call her later. If it wasn’t for Initiation, I’d say hell with everything else and go to New York for the weekend.”

As much as Ren was used to the telepathic outputs of Kaleb’s mind, in times like these when Kaleb’s frustration at his situation was almost palpable, it was hard to ring fence all of it. That anger and disappointment washed over Ren in the instant that they touched.

But Ren was almost glad for it: the small peek into Kaleb’s mind. He didn't want his best friend to have to hide his feelings away from him.

He sighed, shifting so he could clasp Kaleb’s hand in his own instead of just linking their pinky fingers. “As soon as the initiation is over and things calm down enough for you to take the weekend off, then.” Already, Ren’s mind was occupied with coming up with other ideas to cheer Kaleb up. Things that he could do while still being on campus. Ren didn’t like it when Kaleb was upset and would do anything to put a smile back on his friend’s face.

Kaleb gave Ren’s hand a squeeze, thanking him silently for the contact and the small comfort.

“I suppose there’s always spring break to look forward to.” In the meantime, Kaleb would do what he always did and hide everything away and put on a mask to the world to make them all think that it was okay. He had to in order to get through initiation. Only Ren would really know the turmoil that was hidden below the surface. Would know what lurked behind those smiles and winks as Kaleb reached for another drink.

“Which someone’s birthday falls on Spring Break.” Kaleb moved his head on Ren’s shoulder just enough so that he could roll his eyes up and peer at him. “Please tell me you’re not going to be as lame about your birthday as Miles was this year. I’m so kidnapping the rabbit next time.”

Ren patted Kaleb comfortingly on the head with a small smile. “Still. We’re not going to Vegas.” Ren wasn’t sure somewhere like Vegas suited him anyway. He had no idea what he would even do there. It was a pity they didn’t get to make a bigger event of Miles’ birthday. But ultimately, whatever Miles wanted, Ren and Kaleb would still make sure that he’d get it. Even if it was a seance on his birthday.

“We can do something simple. Maybe a cookout or grill at the Firehouse.” It spoke perfectly at what Ren’s priorities were. Spending time with the people he liked. Maybe cooking for them too. Everything else was superfluous, to him.

“What do you want?” As if it was Kaleb having his birthday. In some ways though, it was more important to Ren that Kaleb was happy on that day compared to others. More than any other day or anyone else.

“Ren,” Kaleb groaned. A cookout at the Firehouse wasn’t as bad as a seance that resulted in summoning the ghost of a dead drunken society boy, but it wasn’t far behind. Though in some ways Kaleb could see it’s appeal given that they only had so much time left at Havisham and with the Order. “It’s spring break. We’re not staying here for that.”

Kaleb was ultimately a selfish person who indulged himself way too much, except for when it came to his best friends. Even more so when it was Ren. For them he would give into their wants and he’d end up indulging Ren on this just as he had Miles with his seance. “Though I suppose we could do a cookout and then leave Sunday night or Monday morning and go somewhere not here.”

Just as having the cookout had it’s appeal because time was short, so did getting away because of everything that was happening.

Ren had the grace to look sheepish. He didn’t usually remember things like this. Most people wouldn’t be around during Spring Break. “Where would we go though?” He liked the idea of a cookout over the weekend before everyone left for their own plans however.

Hopefully the school wouldn’t cancel Spring Break too. That would effectively stop all their efforts. And potentially upset a lot of people. “You don’t think they could keep us all here on the pretext of investigating things, could they?”

Kaleb groaned at the dreadful thought and fell back across the bed in defeat, tugging Ren down along with him. “You’re killing me here with such ideas, Angel Face.” They might not be able to cancel Spring Break altogether but if they came up with enough bullshit ideas they might be able to keep some students from leaving campus. One would hope that by the time Spring Break rolled around that everything would be over and the BMC would have figured out who really killed Lucy.

“Maybe not all of us, but some of us at least. And if that happens, then that’s when some of us use the full force of having a senator for a father to our full advantage.” After all it would not look good for his father if his son ended up being caught in a murder investigation because the BMC was bad at their job.

Ren lay on his back, staring up at the familiar sight of Kaleb's bedroom ceiling. He couldn't help smiling at Kaleb's bold proclamation. Growing up with Kaleb had allowed Ren to get used to the kind of family background that his friend had. The Langstons were influential. And as much as Kaleb's father always went on about being disappointed by Kaleb, Ren knew there wasn't anything the man wouldn't do for his son.

He nudged Kaleb with his shoulder. "Stop saying that. Maybe it won't come to that at all."

Pausing for a moment to think, Ren asked, “If we could though, where would you want to go the most?"

“I think Miles is wanting to go to Disney World but—” Normally Kaleb would be happy to do something big and grand. Fashion Week in New York. Blackjack in Vegas. Yet right now in his current morose state he felt a wave of homesickness that he knew Ren would pick up on. Even so he brushed away the thoughts of going home. He didn’t need to continue the conversation with his father right now.

Which meant go big or go home. “Someplace with a beach maybe. Someplace warm.” Because that’s what you did on Spring Break right? You went to a beach and did crazy things, especially when it was your senior year and it would be the last time you’d get to do so before it was all over. “Cancun? Or I hear Cabo San Lucas is supposed to be nice.”

The idea of a warm sunny beach sat well with Ren. Though hopefully it wouldn’t be a crowded beach. In general, Ren liked the ocean. He liked water; the rain, ocean. He preferred quiet places to loud, boisterous gatherings. Joining the Order would have been terrible for him if both Miles and Kaleb weren’t there with him too, but Ren liked wandering off to be on his own still. The idea of a place where he could relax and enjoy the sea and the sand was infinitely appealing.

“That sounds nice,” he agreed, sounding wistful. “I wouldn’t mind if you abused your power for that.” As though he’d decided just there and then. Because thanks to Kaleb, Ren had learned that it was okay to want some nice things in life.

Kaleb elbowed Ren playfully and shot him a look. “Me? Abuse my power? Never.” But he did and they both knew it. He wasn’t above using it to get the things that he wanted. Or to use it to cheat to get the things that he wanted. “And if I did, so nice of you to approve.”

There was a ghost of a smiling tugging at Kaleb’s lips. He felt slightly lighter than he had when he first came into the room. Being around Ren always had that effect on him. In time he’d manage to push the rest of it down as well and carry on as he always did.

February 23rd, 2020

Kaleb and Ren were sitting in Kaleb’s room when the storm started out. They had been working on additional letters to the alumni now that the debate was over and they had actually told them about the problems with Flamita and ask if any of them could offer more insight. Kaleb couldn’t help but wonder if he could have told his father five minutes before they were sent them to head off being yelled at for not saying something sooner. Like when he was here the other week. Or at the debate.

The storm seemed fitting considering the mood in the room. It fit the one that Kaleb could feel within the one person he knew as well as himself. It was a storm that had been brewing since the debate last night and the arrival of the alumni.

Finally unable to take it anymore, Kaleb closed his laptop and got up. He grabbed a bottle of Irish whiskey from his supply of alcohol before beckoning for Ren to come with him. Between it being afternoon and the storm, everyone seemed to not be around or locked away in their rooms doing homework— leaving the kitchen empty. “Alright, Angel Face, start talking before I start using this whiskey for drinking instead of making alcoholic brownies.”

Ren had never thought that he lacked for anything in his life. Even with growing up absent a father, all that had affected him in reality was the comments whispered behind his back by his peers and classmates. Ren had learned, early on, to shrug those off and continue about his business, focusing on the things that mattered most to him: his mother, and later on, Kaleb and Miles. He never really badgered his mother about his father either, not after seeing how quiet she got when he brought the topic up. But he had known, for a time, after his own initiation ceremony, who his birth father had been.

It hadn’t been difficult, after that, to find out more about the man.

But Ren still hadn’t met him face to face. Until the night of the debate.

To say that he had been out of sorts ever since, even more so than usual, was hardly an exaggeration. Ren had been staring at the same blank sheet of paper for the last half an hour, his pen held aloft, his mind obviously a hundred miles away.

Even with Kaleb beckoning him, it took Ren awhile to notice. And even then, some parts clearly weren’t registering. “What?” he asked. “Why are we drinking?”

“We’re not drinking. We’re baking. Or rather I’m baking. You’re supposed to be talking,” Kaleb pointed out as he sat the bottle of whiskey down and started to pull out the things he needed to make brownies. It probably came as a surprise to some that Kaleb actually could cook let alone bake. While he may have spent his school years in fancy schools, his mother had never been hands off with her children. Never had they been pushed off on nannies to be cared for. Ophelia Langston would never have it be said that she had children simply to show them off.

Although the whole adding whiskey into brownies was his own doing. That and the internet.

“You’re stuck in your head and unlike you I’m not able to just pop in for a visit to see what’s going on.”

Of course, Kaleb knew what the problem was. He had tried to keep the two apart as much as possible last night but there was only one of him and too many alumni and other things to deal with last night.

The comment would usually have earned Kaleb a laugh. Or at least an impish grin in recognition of his joke. But as a testament to how out of it Ren was, he hardly reacted. Instead, he was still staring blankly at his friend and the way he was moving about the kitchen from across the counter where he sat.

His own thoughts felt like this: jumbled and in disarray, with the odd melancholia seeping in at the edges—an emotion that Ren was unfamiliar with and had difficulty processing. Why was it that he would still have such an emotion in relation to someone who had not actually been a part of his life from the beginning? There had been hardly a few words exchanged between them last night; a mutual long look—then, recognition. Ren had seen it in eyes that looked back at him, so much like his own. But then Fitzgerald had looked away, smiling at his companion, muttering idle pleasantries instead of seeking out his own son, standing across the room.

The sound of rain pelting down heavily against the Firehouse echoed the underlying maelstrom of emotions that Ren felt.

“Why do you think he came last night?” The question came out of nowhere, and sounded like it was part of a longer series of questions in Ren’s own head. But he didn’t have to explain who he referred to. There was little doubt as to who he was talking about.

Kaleb paused in his movements and for a moment guilt flashed across his face before he refocused on the task before him. If someone accused him of guilt baking he would deny it but in a way that was very much was he was doing. Which might have been the reason he decided he needed to sip a glass while he worked.

“Because he got invited,” Kaleb admitted as he poured a second glass and sat it next to Ren even though he knew it was likely to go untouched with how lost in his head Ren currently was. He figured that Ren probably didn’t even notice him setting the glass next to him.

“There were over fifty alumni whose names we had for consideration before we narrowed it down to less than that. When I saw his name on the list I pulled it but I don’t know if someone else put him back on it or if an old copy of the list got used when I sent out the invites.” Kaleb took a drink before sitting it down and reaching for a pan, giving Ren an apologetic look in the process. “With everything going on I didn’t even notice he was back on there.”

Kaleb hated the fact that he hadn’t noticed. That he hadn’t even noticed that he had rsvp’d to the thing. It was an easy thing to forget the connection between Ren and Fitzgerald but still Kaleb thought that he shouldn’t have. From the time they had been young he had always looked out for Ren—protected him and acted like a boffer between him and the world as much as possible—but in this he had failed. “I’m sorry, Angel Face.”

Ren did look up at this, picking up the small waves of guilt that emanated almost tangibly from Kaleb. He didn’t have to be touching Kaleb to understand where that was coming from. Growing up, Kaleb had always tried his best to shield Ren from the things that he felt were unfair. It was a large part of the reason why Ren felt he’d never lacked for anything.

“Don’t be,” he told Kaleb, tone regaining some of its usual warmth. “I’m okay. I’m not upset. I just…” As prestigious as Havisham was and as much as many of the alumni still held to the traditions of being an Order member, they were all respectable, busy members of the magical society now. And for someone like Fitzgerald, it was odd that he would decide to come personally this year, out of the many years before where he hadn’t. “I just don’t really understand, I guess.”

Ren wondered which was worse: to have the man not turn up at all when he had been invited or for him to turn up as he had, but ignore Ren completely. Possibly the latter.

“Maybe one of the initiates this year was someone he knew. A friend’s son or daughter perhaps.” After all, it couldn’t have been any other reason.

“Perhaps,” Kaleb agreed. It wasn’t like he had taken the time to find out everything there was to know about their initiates. That was Teresa’s job after all and he besides he had been keeping busy enough with all the other things he was doing. There was the alumni to deal with and of course Flamita, not to mention the other side projects he had somehow managed to pick up along the way as well.

Kaleb Langston did not currently lack for anything to do.

And yet for all that he had to do there wasn’t anywhere else he’d want to be right now.

He put the brownies in the oven and leaned back against the counter. “Fuck him. Or rather not because he’s not nearly as pretty as you.” Kaleb gave Ren a smile and wink before continuing on. “You don’t need him. Never did. You turned out perfectly fine without him.”

That much was true. And this time, it did bring a more genuine smile to Ren’s face. “Says the one who actually did practically raise me,” Ren countered, the corners of his lips curving upwards slightly. “I’d say you’re biased.”

The brownies in the oven were starting to emit a rather nice chocolatey smell with just a touch of that whiskey. Comfort food just like so many times before. It was a familiar scent. Something that Ren associated with Kaleb and happy memories and time well-spent together, undoubtedly the kind of effect Kaleb wanted to have in the first place.

“I can’t believe you’re baking though. What with how many things you have on your plate.” It was true, Kaleb had picked up a lot of things as vice president. And since he was often the one most people went to consult on their magic, he’d picked up even more than others. “Is this stress-baking?”

“Please. Do I look like someone who stress-bakes.” Kaleb pushed away from the counter so he could start to work on mixing the frosting for the brownies together before adding “Don’t answer that.” Because if anyone knew the answer to that it was Ren.

To which Ren simply smiled and mimed a zipping action over his lips.

Ren wasn’t wrong though about how many things Kaleb had on his plate and taking on other commitments was not helping with his time management. He was just thankful he had never been one who had to spend a lot of time on his studies in order to pass his classes with high grades.

“I’ll be glad when this month is over and can just look forward to Cabo. This whole wine tasting dinner with Fog and Danger isn’t the best of timing especially when I’ve managed to overbook myself on the night of Initiation. But—” He looked at the chocolate in the bowl and decided to use the same warming spell Elisabeth had asked him about to melt it instead of messing with the microwave “—hopefully it will give us a chance to do the recon we need in order to get Elias back.”

Ren inched closer to Kaleb, enough so he could peer into the bowl and swipe a finger full of it, now that he was feeling a bit closer to his usual self, so he could steal a taste of it. He grinned unapologetically at Kaleb. “Surely F&D will be ready for it, they’ll have their guard up. It won’t be easy to get Elias back just over one night.” Not unless they had insider info. But all of the officers both from the Order and F&D took the game of getting Elias way too seriously, no one from F&D would make even the slightest mistake of letting the smallest hint slip.

Kaleb glared at Ren as he swiped his finger into the bowl but didn’t mean it. “I think Teresa is up to something with the Sparks but—well, you know how she does like her secrets.” He looked down at the frosting and decided it needed just a touch more whiskey. Then he decided he did as well and reached for his glass.

After he took a sip of the whiskey he sat it aside. “At this point I’m not sure if getting Elias back is a welcomed distraction or if it’s just one more thing to be checked off of my to-do list.” For someone who’s father thought was directionless and unmotivated, he sure seemed to have a lot on his plate. “Deal with Flamita. Check. Deal with the Alumni. Check. Deal with Initiation. Check. Or at least mostly check. We still have the end of it to go.”

Ren was unrepentant as he licked the chocolate off his finger. Though he did nod at Kaleb’s comment. “Well, it wouldn’t be an initiation without some secrets,” Ren pointed out. It was a rite of passage more than anything, the initiation ceremony itself. But Ren didn’t sound too concerned. Responsibility was not something that people would automatically associate with Ren. That was more Miles and Kaleb’s speed. Ren couldn’t remember where he put his socks most of the time. People wouldn’t trust him with something as big as the initiation.

He did worry about Kaleb having too much on his plate though. “On the up side, it’s almost over. And then you can finally take a break.” He kneaded Kaleb’s shoulders as a sign of commiserating with his burdens.

“A much needed break,” Kaleb agreed, sighing under Ren’s hands. He just had to get through the rest of Initiation and the worst of it was over. All they had left was the actual induction ceremony at the end of the month. “And then we can go and get away from it all.”

Kaleb glanced to see how much time was left on the brownies to bake and then got a mischievous glint in his eye as he stepped away from Ren. He made several gestures with his hands before he finally raised them and snapped his fingers and when he did music filled the kitchen to the tone of the Beach Boys’ Kokomo. He moved back away from Ren, beckoning him with his fingers as he did. “Aruba, Jamaica, oh I want to take ya. Bermuda, Bahama, come on pretty mama,” he sung before he finally reached out and took a hold of Ren so he could spin him around the kitchen. “Key Largo, Montego, baby why don't we go.”

Ren couldn’t help laughing in delight with genuine mirth in his eyes as the sound of music filled the kitchen and Kaleb started to sway to the music. He didn’t need any prompting at all and quickly fell into a spin as he took Kaleb’s hand.

The sound of their mixed laughter and the music both did the perfect job of chasing away any remaining sadness or regret that Ren had felt with seeing his birth father attend the debate but largely ignore his presence. He landed in Kaleb’s arms after one last spin and looped his arms easily around Kaleb’s neck as they fell easily into gentle swaying steps in time to the gentle beat of the music. “Thank you,” Ren said, looking at Kaleb with genuine gratitude in his eyes. For trying to cheer him up, for bringing him to Cabo, for always being the first to notice even the slightest things about Ren—this time and all those countless other times.

Kaleb smiled back, more relaxed than he had been all weekend. While he might worry about not getting a lot of things in his life right—or rather his life in general—he rarely had to worry about doing right by Ren. That always came easily and naturally to him. “Always, Angel Face.”

March 2nd, 2020

February was finally fucking over. Kaleb had been starting to wonder if he’d ever see the end of it but then finally there had been a light at the end of the tunnel. Initiation was finally over so that wasn’t tying him down anymore and the alumni knew about Flamita so that burden was not there anymore though he did had letters coming in and out about it.

All that mattered was that the month was over and he could look towards other things. Like Cabo. And figuring out what he was going to do at the end of May. He supposed some good came out of February since it had given him some ideas and lunch today had only helped.

Currently he was sitting on his bed, stretched out with his laptop and Ghost curled up on his chest. He had his glasses on which gave away the fact that whatever he was working on he had been doing so for a while. It was rare to find Kaleb lounging around in jeans and a t-shirt and bare footed. Most probably wouldn’t even believe you if you told them he even owned jeans, let alone wore them.

He noted the sound at his door but didn’t bother reacting since only two people had unrestricted access through his magical locks. He didn’t even have to guess who was opening his bedroom door because Ghost was already reacting before he was. Not that he could blame the ferret. Still he yelled out, “Traitor” as the familiar stretched and yawned at the same time before getting down and bouncing across the floor to Ren.

Ren’s own reaction was no less enthusiastic, bending forward to greet Ghost with a wide smile and scooping the ferret up into his arms with a practiced hand. “Hello, you,” he gushed as he went over to Kaleb’s bed, completely ignoring owner for familiar. Though he struggled a bit with the packets of shawarma and beer as promised along with the armful of ferret.

He finally settled on the bed, half-crashing into Kaleb as he did so. “Sorry Ghost, the shawarma isn’t for you.” But even as he said that, Ren quickly produced a handful of treats to make up for the perceived slight, laughing as Ghost quickly snatched those up.

Then, and only then, did Ren finally turn to Kaleb. “You’re looking very relaxed today,” he commented with a knowing smile as he dug into the packets of warm food and handed Kaleb his share.

“I sometimes have to wonder who he belongs to,” Kaleb muttered as he sat his laptop aside in favor of food, sitting up straighter and folding his long legs up in order to make more room for Ren on the bed.. “And which one both of you love more before I’m pretty sure I fall at the bottom of both of your lists.”

Which only led Ren to grin and pat Kaleb’s head cheekily as though to placate him.

He did look more relaxed and not just in clothing but some of the tension that only Ren and Miles would have noticed had faded from around his eyes. “Right now I have nothing to be responsible for and it feels great.” While his father was always a hard case about what Kaleb planned to do with the rest of his life, it wasn’t because Kaleb shied away from responsibility. It was just more of he hadn’t found the one he wanted to keep doing. The last thing he needed was to spend the rest of his life weighed down by the wrong choice.

“I saw Moms for lunch today,” he told Ren before digging into the food. He always referred to both of their mothers as the Moms since they had both had a hand in raising both of them in some way.

Ren did spare Kaleb a look at this, in the midst of giving Ghost more treats, watching Kaleb as the ferret continued to eat out of Ren’s palm. “You did?” It was the first time that Ren was hearing about it. And usually for lunch with their moms, Kaleb would have called Ren along. The fact that it was him hearing about it after the fact could only have meant one thing: that there was something the three wanted to talk about separately. Ren wagered that he probably featured as the subject.

Still, he didn’t seem overly concerned or bothered. If Kaleb wanted him to know, he would tell Ren. And if he didn’t, his best friend would have his reasons too.

“It wasn’t about you.” Kaleb didn’t need to be the mindreader here to figure out that train of thought. If Ren decided that he wanted to talk to them about what had happened at the debate then that was his choice, not Kaleb’s. “I mean, you did get bought up, but that wasn’t the reason for it.”

Kaleb devoured more of the food before he explained the real reason he had seen them and hadn’t brought Ren along. “I had a couple ideas stuck in my head that I needed to talk out with them before I did anyone else.” The look he gave Ren was apologetic but if anyone understood how Kaleb struggled with some ideals it was him. “The month of Horroruary,” as he was now calling February, “did manage to get me thinking about what I might want to do after graduation.”

That earned Kaleb Ren’s full attention. He knew full well how Kaleb had been struggling for the longest time with deciding what he wanted to do after graduation, especially with the added pressure of being the eldest Langston son with everything that his father and the family expected of him.

He paused for a moment, setting Ghost carefully on the floor again after he was done with all his treats, deciding instead to focus on Kaleb. “And? What did you decide?”

There was a sparkle of mischief in Kaleb’s eyes as he looked at Ren and grinned. “Oh my father is going to be thrilled.” Kaleb put his food down and wiped his hands off with a napkin before he reached over and brushed his fingertips over Ren’s palm with a feather light touch. Unlike some, he had never shied away from Ren’s ability to know what he was thinking or feeling. Instead, he just found it easier since it allowed Ren to pick up on the things Kaleb couldn’t figure out how to express.

“Not that I’m doing it piss him off. He is the one who wanted me to figure it out and we all knew it was never going to end up with me working for him,” he pointed out, taking Ren’s hand fully and stroking his fingers over his knuckles as he explained. “I’ve been using my magic so much to illusion events and parties that I’m considering making it a thing. It’s not going to happen overnight though. In the meantime, your mother offered me a job working with her at the magazine and I think I’m going to do it. I do have a taste and an eye for it after all.”

The waves of excitement coming off Kaleb was almost palpable. The emotions and thoughts of others often felt like bursts of colours to Ren—blue for sadness, red for anger. Kaleb had always felt to Ren like a warm orange, intense and passionate, but prone to bouts of melancholia. Except that now he was burning almost bright yellow, in his excitement, in his delight at having found something he was truly interested in.

And Ren was happy for him.

“That’s a brilliant idea, to be honest. And if your dad ever gets over it, I think he’ll even be impressed at what a money-making idea this really is.” Kaleb was good at his illusions. Everyone was always calling on him for some event or other at Havisham. It stood to reason that he could definitely develop this. And unlike Ren, Kaleb’s powers didn’t come with any drawbacks.

“You working for my mom though, that’s going to be a headache.” Even though Ren was always talking to Kaleb’s mom, their personalities were very different. But Kaleb and Ren’s mom? They were both the determined sort, forces to be reckoned with in their own right. Them working together? Ren didn’t want to think about it. If they ever decided that they needed to work together on Ren instead, Ren was going to have a hard time continuing to lead his happy hermit life.

“Don’t I know it. But better to work with your mother and buttheads with her over ideas than to work with my father where we’d buttheads and I’d be miserable getting sucked into politics.” Try as the senator might, his eldest son had never had one lick of interest in any of his father’s political dealings. Kaleb was only ever apart of any of it because his mother has insisted that he be there for things to show his support.

Right now though, his father’s approval—or rather his likely disapproval— mattered not. The only reason that Kaleb hadn’t told Ren first was because he had been worried it would be some pipe dream of using his magic to do something he wanted to and not a feasible idea. Now that it did seem possible he was glad that Ren agreed.

“You and my mother on the other hand. I swear she’d swap us out if she could.” Kaleb glanced down at the floor where Ghost had given up on them and curled up in his bed. “Forever doomed to be second favorite to everyone. You can use that as the title of my memoir when you write it one day.” He looked back up at Ren and gave him a wink before continuing,” She wants you to consider joining the Illuminati so that she can personally continue your training.” The guild of psionics and mystics his mother belonged to was not actually called that but was what Kaleb chose to call it.

Ren shook his head and patted Kaleb’s knee, all indulgent. “You’re hardly second favourite. I’m pretty sure you are Miles and I’s most favourite both.” And even if Kaleb’s mom liked to shower Ren with attention, Ren knew that the woman only did so because she knew how close Kaleb and Ren were. Ren gave her important info about what Kaleb truly thought and the things he needed, and Kaleb’s mom gave him compliments and other things instead. It was a mutually beneficial relationship.

He did, however, benefit from much of her training while he was growing up, given that her brand of magic was closest to Ren’s.

“Stop calling it the Illuminati, you make it sound like a cult.” He wasn’t opposed to letting Kaleb’s mother continue to train him. But joining an actual organisation of magic users sounded way too formal. Ren was the sort not to even be responsible for his own meals each day, how was he supposed to be responsible in an important group like that?

“Are they not a cult,” Kaleb asked with a grin. “I’m pretty sure there’s those that would call our society a cult. Possibly a sex cult with all the orgy rumors.” Which he was sure to let continue, even help along here and there, all to keep people guessing. So few realized that was the reason behind a lot of things Kaleb did—to keep them guessing and wondering. Sometimes illusions weren’t all magic and so very few ever saw pass any of it.

Whatever Ren decided, Kaleb knew his mother would continue training him either way. He knew it was just his mother’s way to have one of them follow in her footsteps since neither of her sons would be seeing how they were both warlocks. Next year Simeon would be applying to Havisham and in all likelihood would be tapped for the Order of the Golden Flame himself.

“Cults aside, I’ve been looking at apartments as well. I figured that might be one of those being a responsible adult things we should start doing. Figure out job, get an apartment. At least I think that’s how it works.”

Ren didn’t try to hide his grin. “And you’re a responsible adult now, are you?” It was all in jest though, because between the both of them, Kaleb was definitely the more responsible of the two. But that was what they did regardless, tease each other.

He continued to dig into his food, taking another bit of his shawarma as he listened to Kaleb. “Where are you thinking of getting an apartment?” It would have to be in Boston somewhere, given that Kaleb was thinking of working at Ren’s mom’s place. Which would also mean that somewhere downtown would be the most convenient. “Are your parents going to be okay with that?” Especially Langston snr. Since Kaleb was hardly pursuing a lifestyle his father would approve of.

“Are you kidding? My mother encouraged the idea so that she doesn’t have to put up with listening to Dad and I argue and buttheads every waking moment of the day that he’s home.” It wasn’t just his father’s desire to see Kaleb do something with his future that often put them at odds. There was also the fact that the two men were more alike than either one cared to admit.

Kaleb let go of Ren’s hand so that he could grab his laptop. He took the opportunity to bite more into his shawarma. Then he was turning the laptop so that Ren could see. All of the apartments he had been looking at had two bedrooms. “I figured that all things considered we’d stay in Boston but portaling is always an option I suppose if you don’t want to go back to Boston.”

Not once had it crossed Kaleb’s mind to not include Ren in his plans. They had been living together in dorms for years now. It wasn’t until Kaleb became an officer for the Order and moved into the Firehouse that it was the closest to living apart they had been but even then Ren all but actually lived there with him anyway.

Ren leaned down beside Kaleb to peer at the screen of Kaleb’s computer. “This looks nice,” he said, pointing at one of the apartment options with huge, airy windows. “I like the space it has.” Like Kaleb, it hadn’t really occurred to Ren that he would have to live separately from his friend. After all, even when Kaleb had moved into the Firehouse, all that meant was that Ren took up a space of his own in Kaleb’s room.

Perhaps to someone observing them, it might seem odd. But to Ren it felt like the most natural thing.

“Boston is good with me, it’ll be easier for you too, to travel to your work, I mean.” Though he supposed living in the city would mean that he no longer had excuses to beg off dinners with his mom. Which naturally would now extend to Kaleb if his friend was going back to Boston with him.

It just seemed a given to go back to Boston anyway. It was home. It was where their family was and while they may not have perfect relationships with their parents neither were they trying to escape them. “It would and while I’d want to build my business among Otherworld folk, I’m not a fan of moving to Durbia.” And the only other Ordinary city he could picture living in would be New York and he knew what an issue that would be for Ren.

“Besides, you’ll have me to help head off your mother. And when I can’t, just let me know and I’ll be sure and be an extra pain that day so that she’s more focused on me than she is you.” Kaleb gave Ren a wink before he finished off the last of his food,

Ren laughed, then gave Kaleb a playful nudge with his shoulder. “You best not jeopardize your work with her. She’ll get the hint when I hide from her.” Since that’s what Ren had been doing for so many years anyway.

He made a show of lying on top of Kaleb, using the other’s arm as a pillow, worming his way into Kaleb’s space with little heed of the rush of familiar orange-yellow hues that came with Kaleb’s thoughts enveloping his—that comfortable, welcoming presence in his mind. “Don’t worry,” he prompted as he took another bite of his food. “Your business idea is going to be a success, you’ll see.”

“You’re as bad as Ghost,” Kaleb pointed out as Ren used him as a human pillow but it was clear that he didn’t mind.

At least he wasn’t jumping right into the idea and had come up with the plan to work with Ren’s mother while he worked on his plan. It showed responsibility and forethought that his father would have a problem arguing against. The job would also show that he wasn’t expecting his father to front the bill either.

“I hope so because if it doesn’t we both know I’ll be spending the rest of my life trying to live it down with where my father is concerned. I’ll go from functioning alcoholic to full out drunk. Simeon will have kids and I'll become known as the drunk uncle that everyone avoids at Thanksgiving and Christmas,” Kaleb pointed out, showing that he had already put thought into what would happen if he failed.

Yet he was willing to try anyway.

Ren couldn’t help laughing at the image that Kaleb painted in his head. He patted Kaleb on the head indulgently. “Don’t worry, if it really comes to that, I’ll join you in being that other uncle that everyone avoids. We can both sit on the porch and yell at the kids to shut up.” The idea was endlessly amusing to Ren even as he pictured it. But at the same time, oddly fitting.

Ren had full confidence that Kaleb would succeed. Given his friend’s tenacity and brains, it wasn’t going to be difficult. He already had the right ideas in place. All he needed to do was put them into action. But Ren also knew that Kaleb probably wanted to hear something else: that whatever happened, Ren would always have his back, just like Kaleb always had his.

“We’re living the dream, Angel Face. Trying not to become those uncles. Though if we do succeed and manage to not become them, can we still yell at the kids to shut up?” Kaleb chuckled as he said it because it would be something he’d end up doing. His interactions with the Sparks—former Sparks now—had proven that.

Kaleb gave a soft sigh and laid his head over on top of Ren’s. He didn’t need to hear the actual words themselves to know that Ren would always have his back. They had always been there to hold the other up and knew that wasn’t going to change anytime soon. “Fuck. When did we go and turn into adults?”

Ren made a face like he was considering and thinking hard. “I don’t know about that. I wouldn’t say you’re an adult exactly. You still have some pretty childish sides.”

“Ex-squeeze me,” Kaleb asked, trying to sound completely offended. While Ren was simply teasing him, he also wasn’t wrong. It did not mean however that he couldn’t tease and give Ren a hard time back in return. “Says the person who can’t keep track of his own socks. Which, by the way, Ghost found the one pair you were looking for.”

Ren laughed at the look of mock-offense that Kaleb was wearing. “Wait, really? Where?” That was odd. Ren had been losing a lot of things recently. More so than usual. He reached down to give Ghost’s little ferret head a pat, causing the little familiar to twitch a little in its sleep before it settled back into a deep slumber.

Kaleb shrugged with his free shoulder. “I’m not sure. I looked down earlier and he was wrestling with them. Could have been under the bed or behind the bean bag. I managed to rescue them in time before they met the same fate as my shoe the other day.” It was hard to be mad at the little guy about chewing up his shoe. At least it proved he had taste since he had gone for one of the Italian leather ones. “Maybe he’s the one who made them disappear in the first place.” Though Kaleb gave Ren a look that said he highly doubted that.

Ren took another bite of his shawarma, looking genuinely thoughtful this time. “People have been losing their things. It’s not just me. Emily found a whole cache of things in the senior dorm.” Ren wondered aloud, sharing his thoughts with Kaleb. “Don’t you think that’s odd? And it’s not even things that are expensive or worth a lot.”

That made Kaleb’s eyes go back to Ghost again. “Maybe. If it’s just random stuff in a random spot maybe someone’s familiar got loose and had something to do with it.”

“Perhaps,” Ren said after a pause. It wasn’t impossible. But hiding things so specific like that all in one place seemed a little more than what a familiar was capable of. But all the same, Ren didn’t want to be the one panicking over the smallest things.

They fell into an easy conversation about their plans after graduate again after that, spending the rest of the day in a lazy haze just between the two of them.

March 19th, 2020

When Kaleb got drunk he wasn’t just one type of drunk. There were instead many different sides of drunk Kaleb you could end up with. There was the functioning alcoholic drunk that most saw and you didn’t really even notice he was drunk. There was fun drunk Kaleb for times when he got a little sloppy with his drinking, Then there was the philosophical, deep thinking drunk Kaleb.

That was the one who was out sitting by the pool at three am in the morning by himself drinking and thinking. The temperature may have dropped a bit but he still sat with his legs in the water while wearing his shorts and his unbuttoned shirt from earlier today, a clear sign that he had been sitting out here a while drinking on his own after everyone had drifted off elsewhere or had went to bed for the night.

Yet it didn’t surprise him at all that the subject of some of this deep thinking came out to find him since he had yet to make his way to the room they were sharing. “I’m not sure how great of company I am right now Angel Face, but I have tequila and it’s much, much better company than I am,” Kaleb promised, peering up at Ren and holding out a half empty bottle in offering.

Cabo had been a series of parties for the last few nights with a mix of whale watching and Catamaran thrown in for good measure. The excitement and delight of the last few days lingered in the air, almost palpable. When he was present amongst company as huge as the crowd that Kaleb had cajoled into coming with them to Cabo, the collective excitement was an infectious sort of emotion that had kept Ren abuzz. From the very first day till the present moment. His thoughts felt like this: sprawling and open, adrift and caught helplessly by the tide of good cheer of his peers. It was like staying afloat on a constant high.

He sat himself unceremoniously beside Kaleb, his feet hanging off the edge of the ledge they were sitting on, his toes just reaching the surface of the water below them, the water sluicing over the tops of his feet as he gently kicked through the surface.

“Someone’s gotta keep you from falling in,” Ren said cheerfully with a playful smile, though he took the bottle from Kaleb, if only to keep his friend from drinking too much too quickly, peering at the half-emptied bottle. "Something on your mind?"

“I promise I’m not so drunk that I’d drown if I fell in.” Even as morose as he had felt sitting out here by himself while drinking, it was hard to continue feeling that way when Ren was so cheerful and smiling. Kaleb couldn’t help but feel like he had a part in that, putting some of the joy there simply by having brought Ren here. When he had planned all of this, there had been a small part in the back of Kaleb’s mind that had worried that it would all be too much on Ren but so far it had proven to be the opposite, It made him wonder if maybe he was wrong for not pushing his friend more often to come out of his hermit shell.

Instead Kaleb knew he selfishly hoarded Ren’s attention and affections as much as he could. It was the real reason he didn’t push. Because whenever he needed him, all he had to do was turn around and Ren was there for him.

“Just some self reflection is all. I hear it’s good for the soul or some shit.”

Kaleb, when he was like this, was like a flame drawing in the tiger moth that was his friend. Ren wanted to seep through the cracks in Kaleb’s mental armour to sink down into the hidden core that was his best friend growing up and dissolve the worries that plagued him—layer by layer. It wouldn’t be hard for Ren either. All he’d have to do was touch.

He took a sip from the bottle that Kaleb handed him, making a face momentarily at the strong taste of the tequila, before handing it back to his friend.

“Your soul is all good, don’t worry,” Ren reassured Kaleb, sounding firm and determined.

A few moments passed in companionable silence, with Ren still kicking playfully at the water lapping at his ankles. “Cabo’s been great so far, by the way,” Ren said, a smile playing on his lips. “Thank you.”

“Always, Angel Face,” Kaleb told him, repeating what he had told him that day in the kitchen when Ren had thanked him then too. He meant it as much now as he had then. For a person as self absorbed as Kaleb, he was very much aware of all of his flaws. He knew he was a selfish creature who far too often cared more about himself than he did others. However, no matter what, he always somehow managed to put Ren’s happiness and well being first.

Cabo may have started out because Ren had asked Kaleb where he had wanted to go, but in the end it had happened because Kaleb knew the ocean and the beach would make Ren happy.

Kaleb looked over at Ren and gave him a curious look. “How is it that you, who have seen past the bullshit in ways that others can never hope to, manage to see any good in me?”

Ren laughed. It was a clear sound that resonated with the bubbling delight that he’d felt ever since he stepped foot on the sandy beaches of Cabo, the bright peals of laughter of children and adults both that echoed in their surroundings, the general mood of festivity that surrounded them in this holiday destination.

“No one’s a saint.” He watched the water form small ripples as he moved his legs back and forth, a note of if anyone says otherwise, they’re lying. “You’re honest enough not to pretend otherwise.”

No, Kaleb was just very, very good at pretending in other ways. Ren understood him because he knew with a touch what lurked beneath the surface of what Kaleb presented the world. Miles understood him because he understood the nature of true illusion. Everyone else thought they knew him until he did something they didn’t actually understand.

The morose may have managed to work it’s way back into Kaleb’s mind if not for that pure laughter from Ren. It pulled him back to his thoughts before but not the darker ones. Instead it pulled him back to the ones that made him wonder other things.

Things he had told himself for a long time that he shouldn’t think about.

“What if there was one thing I’ve been pretending about for a while,” he finally asked before taking another drink.

Ren own thoughts were quiet enough that he could pick up a trace of something—anxiety perhaps—that lingered in the unsaid thoughts of Kaleb’s relative disquiet. He looked up, eyes curious. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was the cool water against his skin, or maybe it was just the general atmosphere of Cabo, joyful and relaxed as it was—Ren didn’t think that there could be anything that he ought to have paid attention to.

In truth, observant as Ren was when it reading people’s thoughts, intentions were a rather different thing.

“What’s that?”

Any good decision making on Kaleb’s part had done been burned away from the tequila and instead of answering him, Kaleb decided to show Ren instead. He set aside the bottle of tequila. “This,” was all he replied before he started to move closer.

Of course, he may have also misjudged his earlier statement about not drowning from the tequila as well for as he turned towards Ren and reached for him, Kaleb’s balance went. He tumbled right over into the pool and as he went in he managed to grab a hold of Ren and pull him right into the water with him.

Water rose up in a rush around him, wondrously cool against his skin, stifling Ren’s surprise, replacing it with an amused sort of indignation instead.

The splash from their collective tumble into the pool echoed through the otherwise silent night, but Ren was unconcerned. He broke through the surface of the water, threading it easily like a fish in the sea, seizing the sleeves of Kaleb’s shirt that brushed against his fingers with a sound of mixed indignation and glee, tugging at him and alternatively splashing water with his other, free hand. “How dare you!” Heedless, of the racket they were making, at a time when the rest must have been sleeping—or about to, anyway.

For the first time since Ren had joined him out here, Kaleb laughed. He laughed even harder when Ren splashed him as if either one of them could have gotten any wetter than they already were. “I didn’t mean to!”

Kaleb reached up and pushed his now soaked hair out of his face. The sudden dip into the cooler water of the pool didn’t do much in the way of sobering him up—at least not so much in what he had been recklinessly about to do. The desire to do so was still there, maybe even more so now as he took in the way the water rolled down Ren’s face or the way that water droplets that stuck to his eyelashes.

“I meant to do this,” was all he gave as way of explanation before he reached out and slid his hand up the back of Ren’s neck before leaning in and kissing him.

Thoughts filtered through contact to Ren’s mind. Touch was the easiest with hands—the tips of his fingers—possibly because they were the most sensitive part of the human body. But in the moment of Kaleb’s damp, cool kiss, Ren realised that there was something else he’d underestimated.

Kaleb’s lips were soft. Damp from their tumble in the pool and cool. There had been a thousand other instances in their quiet moments together where Ren had wondered if the connection they shared was something different, something special. In the midst of so many others—mundane or otherwise—they’d found each other and stayed together. But any curiosity and urge to push beyond boundaries was quelled by the reluctance of losing the comfortable constant they had been to each other.

A constant that had shattered in the instant Ren felt Kaleb’s warm body press against him, lips insistent upon his own.

Ren’s lips parted, a small ‘o’ forming in surprise.

He could feel the anxiety he thought he’d sensed earlier, along with the drunken sense of abandon. Not a case of mistaken identity then, he’d thought.

But surprise gave way to a growing disquiet. If not that, then—

This was a mistake. It took Kaleb’s drunken mind a moment to catch up and realize that. And in this state any mental barriers that he may have had any hope of possessing were long gone and the thought was there and out before he even realized he had thought it.

He had only thought it because his mind wasn’t processing Ren’s reaction as surprise but rather as rejection. Kaleb didn’t have the benefit of knowing just what was going through Ren’s mind right then.

Neither did Ren as Kaleb let go of him for fear of messing this up anymore than he already had. So Ren had no way of knowing at that moment that Kaleb was thinking along the same lines. How he had spent years pushing down anything more that he had felt for his best friend down for fear of losing what they had. It had always seemed better to have the comfort and intimacy they had within the bond of their friendship then risk losing it all if Ren didn’t return how he felt.

Now he had possibly just gone and ruined it all in a moment of weakness and thinking maybe there could be more. It sobered Kaleb quicker than anything else could have. “I’m sorry. That was out of line.”

It wasn’t just a stray thought. It was in the lines of Kaleb’s body—the disappointed look on his face, the stiffness and tension in his body. Ren let go of Kaleb without protest, the smile slipping from his own expression.

Kaleb hadn’t been drunk enough not to know what he was doing, or who he was doing it with. But he was also not drunk enough not to know regret. And Ren had felt that seeping through along with the sharp peals of worry.

He opened his mouth to speak. But no words came to him.

All that was left in his mind was the look on Kaleb’s face and his own corresponding embarrassment.

“No, I—” He grasped at some form of explanation, some way to convince Kaleb that it was all going to be okay, and came up with nothing.

“You probably had a bit too much to drink,” he said instead, unable to meet Kaleb’s eyes.

And lingering hope that Kaleb might have been hanging on to died with those words and the fact that Ren couldn’t bring himself to look at him at the moment. They both knew he hadn’t been that drunk. Enough to be reckless yes, but not enough to not know what he was doing. But Ren was giving him an out—a way to save face when he had stepped over an unspoken line.

“Yeah, you’re probably right. Drinking tequila was probably not the best idea.” And yet it was exactly what he’d be going back to doing to try and drown out the sudden ache in his chest.

First they had to get out of the pool though.

Kaleb lifted himself up out of it and even now it was reflex to hold out his hand to help Ren out.

Any other time Ren would have taken that hand. It was almost instinct to. His hand shifted in the water, inching towards Kaleb before he realised what he was doing. He didn’t want to hold that hand and face that bitter regret and disappointment again. But at that thought, the shame of what he was doing hit him again.

“I’m alright, thanks.”

Ren pushed himself up on the edge of the pool next to Kaleb, still not quite looking directly at Kaleb even if he’d lost the stiff expression he had been wearing earlier.

If it was possible, Kaleb looked even more lost than he had before. It was really starting to sink in just how badly he had messed up. Never before had Ren ever shied away from touching him. Even when Kaleb was at his worst, Ren never hesitated.

Now it was as if a chasm had opened up between them and Kaleb was completely at a loss of what to do about it.

“You should probably go get dried off and get some sleep.” His way of letting Ren know the room was his tonight. Kaleb didn’t think he’d be sleeping even if he tried.

It was in the way Kaleb tried to affect a deliberately nonchalant tone, the way his shoulders slumped just a little even though he tried to hold them up ramrod straight—those little telltale signs clued Ren in on the fact that Kaleb didn’t intend to follow him back. And it was even less of a puzzle when Ren saw that Kaleb’s eyes lingered on the bottle of tequila they’d abandoned just moments ago.

Ren frowned. His lips set in a stiff, unhappy line.

“You should come with me. You must be tired too. And you need to dry off.”

For the first time in his life, Kaleb tried to slip behind the mask that he so often put on for everyone else but never with Ren. The one that included the everything is fine smile even has he reached up and grabbed his pack of cigarettes off a nearby table because he needed something to do that didn’t involve looking at Ren or grabbing the bottle of tequila right in front of him.

“I’ll be in just a minute, I should have known better than to get a nonsmoking villa. I swear, you can’t smoke anywhere these days,” he carried on as he shook one out of the pack. He couldn’t help but pull on it like his life depended on it as he lit it.

Something about Kaleb’s insistence didn’t read right to Ren. Intoxicated as Kaleb was—and even if what happened earlier had been a mistake—it was still no reason to neglect his own comfort and health. Ren’s frown deepened.

He chewed on his lower lip for a moment, the very same spot that Kaleb’s own lips had been mere moments ago.

Then, mind made up, he moved to sit. Back on the edge of the pool where they’d both been before they so carelessly fell in. “I’ll wait for you, then.” It was Ren’s own brand of stubborness. The downside of knowing someone forever—they knew all the mannerisms and habits you displayed; and the counter for every one in turn too.

For a moment the facade Kaleb was trying to put on almost slipped because for the first in that he could remember he wanted to yell at Ren. Yell at him to just go inside and leave him be. Because normally this is what he needed. Ren sitting beside him when everything inside was spinning out of control. Except normally it would mean leaning against him and laying his head against Ren’s or on his shoulder and taking comfort. Sliding his hand into his.

Only he couldn’t do that now. Because Ren didn’t want to touch him and right now Kaleb didn’t want to make it worse with what he was thinking,

Instead of yelling at him though, he finally just shrugged and reached for the bottle of tequila for another drink. “Fine.” If Ren was going to stay then Kaleb wasn’t going to hide the fact that he planned on finishing the bottle as well as the cigarette.

It should have worked. Ordinarily, it would have.

Not this time, however.

But Ren didn’t have the slightest clue what was wrong this time. Instead, there was only the mingled embarrassment and regret and confusion. He eyed the bottle that Kaleb took, wanting nothing more than to take it away from Kaleb. But he had seen the look of genuine frustration on Kaleb’s face. Was it crossing a line?

But then, Kaleb had never taken issue with it before. What was different now?

“You’re drinking a lot,” Ren said instead, quietly.

“Seems a shame to let perfectly good tequila go to waste,” Kaleb answered. And maybe, just maybe, if he drank enough of it he’d pass out when he went back in. If he was even luckier, he’d drink enough and forget that he had fucked up and that the whole thing ever happened.

More than likely none of the above would happen and he was just going to end up waking up with the world’s worst hangover even more regrets than he had at the moment.

Usually that comment would be accompanied with a smirk. A playful nudge on the shoulder. A knowing look. There was none of that now. Instead, Kaleb’s voice was stony, lifeless. And Ren didn’t have to be a telepath to know that something was most definitely wrong.

After an unhappy few long moments of silence, Ren spoke again. “Are you angry?” And without giving Kaleb any chance to answer, he continued, softly. “I know it’s a mistake. We can just forget that it happened.” I won’t read into it, he didn’t say.

Kaleb didn’t know how to answer that he wasn’t angry but instead was trying not to feel heartbroken at the moment. Over the fact that he had been wrong and the fact that it was clearly messing things up between them now. He was saved from having to do so though with just a few simple words. I know that it’s a mistake.

“Right. A mistake. I’m sure I’ll forget all of this by morning anyway with the amount I’ve already had.” Not sure how much longer he could keep this up, he put out the cigarette and stood up. “It’s colder than I thought it would be sitting out here this soaked.”

This time he didn’t bother offering Ren his hand.

March 25th, 2020

"I feel like you're judging me right now and one should not feel so judged by one's familiar," Kaleb pointed out to Ghost from where the ferret watched him from his ferret bed on the floor.

Kaleb himself was sitting on the floor of his bedroom, the lights dimmed down, and the candle from the Spring Ritual sitting before him. Even though he didn't have to have one for this, he still had drawn out a circle around him and sat in the middle of it—as if doing so would help the energy in some way.

He had been trying to figure out what to do about his situation with Ren for a few days now and he was no closer to an answer than he had been before. If anything he was even farther from it. Just the past few days alone had shown him what life would be like if he messed up and made the wrong choice. He was spiraling and only Miles trying to keep him level was helping him hold it together.

He was no good without Ren in his life. That much was clear. And they needed to talk but Kaleb still wasn't sure what was the thing to say. What if he pushed Ren away for good? He'd rather go back to the way they were and live out their lives continuing to pretend so that he could have Ren in his life than risk looking him altogether. After all, something was better than nothing wasn't it?

The candle from the Spring Ritual was supposed to make coming to a decision about something easier. All Kaleb had to do was lite it and it would—in theory—help make the burden of his choice easier. It wasn't going to tell him what that correct choice was however. That was still all on him.

"And yet, it still almost feels like cheating," he muttered aloud to Ghost as he continued staring at the candle.

Which he didn't blame the sneeze of judgment he got in return from his familiar at that. It made him think of how Ren would have laughed and smiled over hearing Kaleb Langston worrying about cheating at something in life.

That did not help the ache in his heart.

Still, this felt like a choice he had to make on his own. He had finally decided and made the choice of what he wanted to do with his life after he left here in two months. They were decisions he had managed to make on his own. Even if it had taken him a while to do so. Even if now they seemed pointless if Ren wasn't there beside him. There had been no magic candle helping him figure out what was the right path for him. So now when this seemed like an even bigger decision in his life, did he use it?

Kaleb finally looked up from the candle and over at Ghost who had gotten up and now stood there watching him. He stomped his feet and Kaleb sighed as he scooped the candle up into his hand and got up. "You're right. It's my burden to bear and figure out on my own." He cleared away the circle and placed the candle in a long wooden box to be put away. It would remain unlighted, left to lay in the silk-lined box while Kaleb tried to figure out what was best on his own.

March 26th, 2020

The gym at this time of day—or night, really—was unoccupied, empty. There was nothing in the room, no random stray thoughts to press invasively, unwanted, into Ren’s mind, no intrusive and judgmental looks from other gym-goers; just blessed silence and the rhythmic creaking of the weights timed to the pull-strain of muscle in his limbs. He had lost count of the minutes—hours?—he had spent here, running through the same sets over and over again until he’d methodically stripped every thought from his mind.

Ten. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen… Each rep was punctuated by a corresponding burn in his muscles—Ren welcomed it. It chased away the oppressiveness of his own thoughts, the overwhelming loneliness and darkness that had always been in his mind—held at bay all these years by the memory of a boy with dark hair and brown eyes holding an illusion of a flower up for him to see.

The last few days felt without end. Ren looked and talked the same; he breathed and he walked the same. But there was a lack of a presence by his side, a hole within that couldn’t be filled. Too often, he’d look up, certain that he’d find a smiling brunette with a fond look in his eyes, a cocky smile on his lips standing in the doorway; memories conflating with want, leaving him exhausted and brittle inside.

In the darkness, a memory: lips soft and cool, damp from the chilled water of the pool and that firm body pressing back against—NO!

The deafening clack of the weights missing their mark and falling echoed through the otherwise empty room. Then softer, a hiss of pain as Ren tested his strained muscles. Distracted, exhausted—difficult to tell which was the greater culprit in his carelessness. Ren stood still under the machine, fingers curling to fists. His breath caught on the next exhale—caught on a wave of longing so potent it threatened to engulf him.

I miss him.

The knowledge did nothing. Nothing but amplify the ache in his chest, the yearning in his gut. He forced himself to exhale, diaphragm stuttering in ragged bursts. He was in control. He had to be.

Slowly, he sat down on the empty bench, gingerly lifting his left shoulder—pain lanced through his side. Ren, ridiculously, felt the urge to laugh. Separated from the massive part of his life that was Kaleb since he’d walked into it fifteen years ago, Ren was stripped raw—a complete mess.

He’d tried since the night in Cabo to understand the reasons for what transpired. He was tired, he was drunk. A thousand and one scenarios and their corresponding explanations. He could even, in his weakest moments, imagine that for that second their lips met—that Kaleb had meant it. But none of them could overcome the startling clarity of the single thought that followed: It was a mistake.

(Seventeen years ago, his mother’s arms tight around him, her body trembling slightly as she whispered in his ear, "You have a gift, Ren. Don’t believe anything else you hear. It’s a gift and not a curse." And the taste of her tears that he hadn’t understood at the time running down her weary face.)

"Doesn’t feel much like a gift now mom," Ren whispered into the silence.

March 28th, 2020

Ever since that night in Cabo, there had been a tension between the two best friends who had known each other since they were children. It seemed the only way to pretend it didn’t happen was to avoid each other. It hurt everytime that Kaleb entered his room and Ren wasn’t there. Even Ghost was starting to notice, his head coming up when he heard someone walking about the hallway but then would drop it back down when he realized it was someone else walking down the hallway.

Getting Ren to answer his texts wasn’t any better. Kaleb had even taken to ignoring his mother’s phone calls again just to try and get Ren to tell him to call his mother. Besides, he wasn’t just avoiding his mother’s phone calls to get Ren to talk to him. His mother would pick up on what was wrong and then he’d be forced to discuss it with the one person who knew.

Of course all it took was one text to change all of that. None of that mattered when Kaleb’s phone went off yet again during the Order’s annual Spring Dinner Party. It was enough to finally get Kaleb to pay attention to it and the moment he did, he was up and leaving yet another one of Mia’s hosted parties. He moved across the room not to tell Ren he was leaving but to grab his arm and take him with him. “We need to go. Now.” His tone of voice offered no room for arguments and all Ren would have to do was look at his eyes to tell that something was very wrong.

It hadn’t been any easier for Ren. The days that were usually spent lounging carelessly in Kaleb’s room were now replaced with an uncomfortable chair in the library, or even as far as the Grove, just to make sure that he would have some quiet. The days were filled with a sort of despondency and restlessness that Ren simply couldn’t shake. He’d tried to stay out of Kaleb’s way for the most part, fearing that forced look of blankness that Kaleb had taken to facing him with.

So it was a surprise that the man himself would come to him now, his tone serious, his expression even more so. The crowd was still hyped up from the effect of it being one of the first few parties since they got back to campus. But Ren only had eyes for the uncharacteristic way Kaleb was behaving.

He stood up, definitely concerned. “What’s wrong?” he asked, momentarily forgetting his fear of being ignored or treated with false cheer by Kaleb in the face of Kaleb’s obvious distress.

“There’s been an accident. Mom’s in ICU,” Kaleb answered in a hushed tone. For all of his extravagance and drama, when it came to Kaleb’s personal issues he wasn’t one to just put them out there. Especially this. And especially right now. He didn’t even bother to tell Miles he was leaving. Just shot him a quick text.

Mom. Mass General. ICU.

The words filled Ren with an icy shock. For the longest time, Kaleb’s mom had been a gentle influence on Ren’s life. She came into his mother’s life as a solid rock that she could always depend on. And when they’d found out that Ren’s abilities lay in the way of Ophelia’s, the woman had taken it entirely upon herself to give Ren all the instruction and support that he needed. Even when he and his mom had been shunned by the larger part of the magical community, Ophelia had never even looked at them differently.

To hear that she was injured now was a bolt out of the blue. And he could only imagine what it must have felt like for Kaleb. He didn’t hesitate to take Kaleb’s hand, slipping his own gloved one to wrap around Kaleb’s, giving it a firm squeeze.

He didn’t have to say anything. Words were useless at this point. Actions spoke far more. You have me, it said. You’ll always have me beside you.

True to his word, it wasn’t long before they were at the portal. And barely a few minutes after that, well on their way to visit Ophelia. Ren watched Kaleb throughout, the tense lines of his body, the sombre expression on his face. The awkwardness of the last few days all but disappeared from his mind in the face of Kaleb’s distress. All Ren wanted to do was to slip into Kaleb’s mind and pull all the anxiety and worry and fear from him.

“How did it happen?”

“I don’t know, Angel Face.” But they were about to find out. Kaleb kept a hold on Ren’s hand the whole time as if he was his only lifeline as they entered the hospital and was directed to the ICU waiting room where his father was waiting. It had been cleared out and bodyguards were stationed outside of the area. They were ones that Kaleb knew and they let him and Ren pass without any problems.

August looked up as his son approached and actually hugged Kaleb before Kaleb stepped back and was glued right next to Ren’s side once more. It was clear from the cuts and bruises on the senator’s face that whatever happened he had been with his wife.

“Dad, what happened?”

“Your mother and I were out for dinner. On the way back we were hit by a truck, directly into your mother’s side of the car. She took the worst of it.” It was easy to see the similarities between father and son as a lot of guilt passed over August's face, believing he should have been the one who had taken it instead. “The worst was a blow to the head that knocked her unconscious. She hasn’t woken up since the accident happened.”

Ren was quiet throughout most of Senator Langston’s explanation. Instead, he was watching Kaleb, worried about how the other would take this. There were remedies available to them, of course, as members of the magical community. And given the Senator’s position and reputation, he would do all necessary to give Ophelia the best care possible. But it wasn’t without risk. And it all depended on how bad the injury was in the first place.

He held Kaleb’s hand firmly in his own. “Have they done scans, sir? How… How is she?”

The elder Langston’s eyes flicked over to Ren. “The scans are showing no swelling or bleeding on the brain which is promising. They’ll be taking her down for another scan shortly.”

With his mother’s abilities though, Kaleb knew how devastating any kind of long last trauma to her brain would be to her. “Can we go ahead in and see her?” Kaleb glanced around for the first time and frowned, noting that his younger brother was nowhere to be seen. “You didn’t contact Simeon yet or did he not want to come?”

That look of guilt was back on August’s face. “I haven’t told him yet.”

Kaleb knew exactly why his father had contacted him first and he went from just holding Ren’s hand to sliding an arm protectively around him. All the while he shot his father a look that said it was Ren’s choice whether he wanted to see if he could sense anything off of Ophelia or not. ‘Come on, let’s go see her.”

Nodding, Ren quietly followed Kaleb into the room.

Inside, everything was the sterile whitewashed sort of environment that reminded Ren strongly of sickness and hospitals. It was as if the desperation and hopelessness hung off the walls, Ren felt like he could almost taste the years of accumulated despair. How many people had been in the same room, hoping that their loved ones would make it through whatever injury they’d sustained and live to see another day?

Ophelia was lying in the bed, her usually expressive face quiet and pale for once. The room was quiet except for the beeping of the monitors. And Ren could sense the worry coming off Kaleb even without touching him.

He waited for Kaleb to gather himself, allowing his friend the time to speak with his mother first. Even as he discreetly removed his gloves.

The exchange between the Langstons had not been lost on Ren. And if anything, he was only happy to help. But he only hoped that it would be good news that he brought to the family that had come to mean so much to him.

Kaleb placed a kiss upon his mother’s brow and held on to her hand even as he looked up and over at Ren. He didn’t fail to notice that he had removed his gloves. “You don’t have to do this Ren. The doctors will figure it out. Or once she’s more stable we can move her to the hospital in Dubia with healers.”

As much he wanted to know that his mother was okay in there, he also didn’t want to risk Ren. How could he ask one piece of his heart to possibly suffer for another piece of it? Even if Ophelia’s mind was fully functioning, it didn’t mean that Ren wouldn’t feel her pain if she was in any despite what they had to be giving her for the pain.

“I can’t have something happen to you as well,” Kaleb admitted.

Ren’s answer was a small smile. “I may not be able to do much. But this, I can. And I want to do it for you. And for your mom too.”

Of all the people in his life, there was a certain hierarchy. His own mother was up there. But Kaleb had a special place. It had long since gone beyond just a matter of kinship and family. There wasn’t a scenario where Ren wanted to imagine his life without Kaleb in it. Or to have Kaleb upset because of something that Ren could easily help with.

Giving Kaleb a reassuring tap on the shoulder, Ren simply moved closer to the bed. Then, carefully, picked up Ophelia’s hand. She looked so small there, even though her presence had always felt larger than life to Ren, a steady influence in his abilities as he grew stronger in them. Now, he was to do the same for her and guide her back home.

—the dinner had been perfect. the steak a bit too well done. but overall not a bad effort. that truck's coming a bit too quickly. no! thank god she could cast a barrier in time- pain. so much of it. she hadn't had pain like this in a while since Simeon. voices. her husband? but she was slipping away again—

Ren latched onto that fleeting trace of her. The telepathic signature that was uniquely Ophelia's. Everything around them seemed to weigh down on him as he did so, reaching out along their familiar link, like murky waters threatening to bring him under. He could let go. He could drop her weight and Ren knew that he would find his way back to the surface. But he thought of Kaleb's face, that tense slant of his jaw. Ophelia. Come back.

Outwardly, Ren's brows narrowed to a frown, his usually calm expression gaining a measure of anxiety. Come back to us. Kaleb's waiting for you.

At first, there was nothing. Just the darkness and the pain and the empty silence around him. But then, Ren felt it. From the corner of the darkness, hidden in a protective psychic shield of her own-- Ren?

Relief surged through Ren. Yes. Come with me. We're getting you home.

As much as Kaleb felt like he should be watching his mother and worrying about her, he couldn’t help the fact that his eyes and worry stayed on Ren. His mother had machines monitoring her that would alert them if something went wrong—Ren had none of that. All he had was one young warlock that was squatted down in front of him and studying his face of any signs of distress.

Ren was pushing himself, Kaleb knew that, but he also knew how dangerous it was to intervene unless it became absolutely necessary to do so. Even if it worried him how paleRen was getting. Kaleb took Ren’s free hand in his and rubbed his thumb over his knuckles. “Angel Face, I need you just as much as I need her so don’t you over do it.” Because right now this room held the two people he cared about the most even if he didn’t always do the best at showing it.

The beeping of the machines changed first and Kaleb looked up at them before he stood up fully and looked down at his mother, noted the flutter of Ophelia’s eyes and the way her hand suddenly tightened around Ren’s as she started to wake up.

Kaleb couldn’t help but wrap his arms around Ren and pull him against his body, lower his head and kiss the top of Ren’s. “Thank you,” he murmured into his hair before he pulled back enough to make sure he was truly okay. Looking down into his face, Kaleb felt the overwhelming desire to kiss him again but he pushed it down for now and he turned his attention back to his mother.

“Hey.” He released Ren enough so that he could kiss his mother’s temple even as her eyes fought to stay open. “Rest. I’ll go get Dad.” Before he could though, weak fingers grabbed his waist and held it. It’s time to stop hiding, son. Kaleb peered at this mother, so weak and so fragile and yet still so firm in telling him what he should do that he nodded.

Ren allowed himself to lean into Kaleb, the strength leaving him in a rush. He hadn’t known if he would be able to accomplish something like that. It wasn’t something he had ever tried before. But for Kaleb, he had to risk it. He managed a small smile finally when Ophelia’s eyes opened again and Kaleb’s lifeless expression regained animation.

While he left the room to get the senior Langston, Ophelia took Ren’s hand once more, mouthing a soft ‘thank you’ to the telepath. Ren could only shake his head. “I’m just glad that you’re going to be okay.”

It didn’t take long for the Langstons to return. Although it came with a warning from a nurse and that Ren was going to have to wait outside since they didn’t allow this many visitors at one time. Ren nodded in agreement, standing up to leave with the nurse and to allow the Langstons to their moment of reunion.

But standing up then turned out to be a bad idea and the moment he did, it felt like the ground was rushing upwards to meet him.

Kaleb caught Ren before he could collapse and held him up. He shared a brief look with his mother before lifting Ren up into his arms against any protest and carrying him out into the waiting room. He assured the nurse it was just low blood sugar and that he’d be fine.

Skipping the chairs, Kaleb took Ren over to one of the couches tucked away in the corner of the waiting room and sat down on it, taking Ren with him. Stretching his legs out, he settled Ren between them and wrapped his arms around him, not willing to let him go after the past week.

“You did good, Angel Face. Thank you.” he told him again, lips brushing over his temple. “Are you sure you’re okay?”

It was probably a good thing that Ren didn’t have the energy to protest right then, or he would have definitely made a fuss about Kaleb hauling him out of the room like a damsel in distress. As it was, he did give Kaleb a very disapproving look but gave it up as a lost cause since he didn’t want to cause a ruckus in the ICU.

He didn’t so much mind the arms around him as they sat outside in the waiting room however, dropping his head on Kaleb’s shoulder as his eyes felt heavy and tired after all that.

“I’m fine,” he answered eventually. “Just a little sleepy maybe.” It was a good thing that there wasn’t anyone else in the waiting room. But Ren was also tired enough that it didn’t matter all that much to him if they drew stares at the moment. “I’m glad your mom’s gonna be okay,” he said without opening his eyes. “You should be in there with her.” Though it didn’t look like he was letting go of Kaleb anytime soon, content instead to half-bury his face in the other’s shoulder.

“I’ll go see her in a minute and probably get yelled at by her.” Which would be a sure fire way to know that she was okay. “I’ll give my dad a moment alone with her. And, I need to make sure you’re okay.” Kaleb reached up and stroked his fingers over Ren’s temple.

“Besides, I owe you an apology. For ruining the rest of Cabo for you. For helping to make this week awful for the both of us. I’ve missed you, Ren, and I’m glad that you’re here with me now.”

Kaleb leaned back so that he could see Ren’s face and judge how much was too much right now. Whether he should let him fall asleep for now and talk to him later or rip the bandaid off now. He didn’t want to overwhelm Ren’s mind right now after what he had just done for him.

Ren peeled open his eyes as Kaleb began to speak about Cabo, paying attention now that he could sense that Kaleb was trying to say something. He sat up straighter, rubbing the sleep from his eyes before paying full attention to Kaleb. “Why do you say that? You didn’t ruin it. I had fun.” It wasn’t as though Kaleb had to be in a good mood throughout the trip. Though Ren had to wonder if Kaleb had been in a bad mood before the kiss or if that incident was the sole cause of his frustration for the rest of that week.

He took Kaleb’s hand in his own—now gloved once more—and gave it a light pat. “I missed you too. But I’m glad we’re back to talking now.” A thought suddenly occurred to him, and he looked at Kaleb again. “We are good again, aren’t we?”

Kaleb stared down at their hands as he tried to figure out the answer to that. Ren was giving him the perfect out. He could say yes and no more than that and they could go back to the way that everything was before. The question wasn’t if they were good again but if Kaleb could continue on the way they had been he. He had already risked it all once and thought he was wrong and yet he couldn’t help but think of the thought his mother sent his way. “Yes, but—”

He looked back up at Ren. “Maybe you should get some rest before we talk.” The last thing he wanted to do was over tax him or make things worse right now but Kaleb didn’t think he himself would feel settled until they talked.

Ren was quiet as he watched Kaleb. As much as he wanted Kaleb to say that things between them were back to normal and that Ren didn’t have to continue to pay any heed to this strange new air of awkwardness between them, he could also sense that Kaleb was trying to tell him something.

He tilted his head slightly, trying to get a good look at Kaleb who simply wasn’t meeting his gaze. “What do you want to tell me?” he asked gently. “You know you can tell me anything.”

“There’s no taking this back once I do, Angel Face. Everything will change whether for the good or the bad,” Even as he said it, Kaleb wasn’t looking down at Ren. He was looking across the waiting room where he could see the shadows of his parent’s in his mother’s room. What if that had been Ren? What if something happened and he spent the rest of his life wondering what if he could have had that something more.

Ren may have put his gloves back on, but Kaleb knew any skin to skin contact would be all it would take. And so Kaleb looked down at Ren and reached up to brush his thumb over his bottom lip. As he did, he broke the almost gossamer like spell that his mother had weaved for him years ago to keep Ren from picking up on certain thoughts and feelings. Thoughts and memories that came tumbling out now in a rush.

How he had figured out at thirteen that he felt different about Ren than he did about Miles. How those feelings only grew as they got older.

The day that he figured out that he loved Ren and he feared he’d ruin their friendship forever if he ever told him, especially when he knew he was not good enough for someone as good hearted as his best friend and couldn’t see what he had to offer him.

Why he had acted the way he had after the kiss and thought it was a mistake because he thought Ren was rejecting him.

“I didn’t just kiss you because I was drunk. I kissed you because I always want to kiss you.”

He felt it for certain, the subtle shift—the way it felt like the entire bottom of his world had given out. Reading Kaleb had always come naturally to him. Ren never paid any attention. Thoughts filtered in through their touch as natural as breathing in the oxygen from the air around him. But now—now he knew. The nuanced way that Kaleb had seen everything that happened between them, how each and every moment between them was coloured with an unmistakable fondness, full and bursting from somewhere deep inside.

That had been how Kaleb felt all these years. How he still felt.

The breath left Ren’s lungs in a rush, and it was several moments before he realised he had to breathe again. “I—” There were so many things Ren wanted to say; thoughts and emotions he had to convey to Kaleb in response. But none of them came to him. He simply stared at Kaleb for a long moment.

After a good few seconds, Ren finally looked away. There was a tightness in his chest that Ren couldn’t account for. He’d always known, from the first time Kaleb introduced himself as a new friend of his, that this person was special to him. Ren had stuck by Kaleb all these years, content just to see that Kaleb was happy. He’d known, of course, that he loved Kaleb. How could he not? No one else saw through him the way Kaleb did. No one else got Ren the way Kaleb did. But he had never entertained the idea of becoming more. Because he couldn’t afford to be greedy. He couldn’t afford the consequence of risking everything else that he already had with Kaleb for an uncertain want of his.

“I’ve loved you, Kaleb. I always have. I just didn’t know—” Ren’s thoughts felt jumbled, indistinct. He wanted to convey the magnitude of what he’d always felt for Kaleb, but all his years writing hadn’t taught him how to put these feelings into words. “It never mattered to me whether you felt the same because I know how I’ll always feel about you regardless.” Everything spilled out in that instant, that odd tightness in his chest, the odd half-laugh, half-gasp sound that Ren made at the end of the sentence, before he finally dissolved into nervous laughter, his fingers tight around Kaleb’s arm. “Oh god. Did you think— you should have told me. We’ve been such idiots.”

Kaleb couldn’t help but laugh in return though his own lacked any of the nervousness that Ren’s held. His laughter held relief and joy that not only had he not just fucked all of this up but that Ren returned everything that he felt. “I should have told you. I should have told you a long, long time ago. We have been such idiots. I’ve been such an idiot. I never should have hidden that part of me away from you. The part you needed to see the most. I should have been telling you every day that I loved you.”

Even if Ren hadn’t been able to read the thoughts or the emotions though, it had always been there in the everyday ways that they interacted with each other. The subtle touches. The way that they sought comfort in one another.

“Fair warning this time, Angel Face, but I’m going to kiss you,” Kaleb told him, completely sober this time. His fingers brushed over his jaw and tilted Ren’s face up before he brought his lips down to his.

Kaleb’s lips were soft, softer than Ren remembered. Or perhaps that first time had been coloured by the bitterness of beer and Ren’s own regret. He could taste the relief now on those lips, and Kaleb’s sweet joy. Ren leaned in, pressing forward and up, eager and yearning. His hands came up around the back of Kaleb’s neck, lips parting long enough for breath only to close in on Kaleb again, whispering, “I can’t believe you managed to hide this from me for such a long time.” For the echo of that deep yearning he’d felt was present in Kaleb too, so overwhelming that Ren felt like he could drown in it.

Exhausted as he was, he couldn’t seem to keep the flood of desire at bay—Kaleb’s or his own? Didn’t matter. A tinge of pink stole onto Ren’s cheekbones. One hand snaked down the front of Kaleb’s shirt to tug at it and pull him closer still, obliterating the distance between them. It felt new and yet—like everything Ren had always known about Kaleb—warm and welcoming; like docking at the only safe harbour on a stormy night.

There wasn’t a doubt in Kaleb’s mind that this was where Ren belonged. Right here in his arms. That he had always had. It felt like everything clicked into place and just fit as Ren pulled him closer and Kaleb’s one hand went to his back to tug him there. Nothing could have come between them if it tried. Nothing in the world existed right now but Ren and being this close with him. Kaleb was shifting, about to pull Ren farther into his lap—Kaleb having completely forgotten where they were—when someone cleared their throat.

“Your mother wishes to speak with you,” August Langston stated. He didn’t look surprised at all at the situation that he found the pair of them in. In fact, he managed to carry on as if Ren wasn’t partially spilled across his son’s lap. “Ophelia tells me it was you that helped guide her back. I owe you a great debt of gratitude, Ren.”

They separated in a startled gasp the moment they heard that voice.

If Ren hadn’t been blushing earlier, he most certainly was now. Staring up at the Senator’s face that looked so much like Kaleb but older and wiser and now very much looking as embarrassed as he was grateful in equal measure.

Ren very much wished the floor would open up and swallow him whole.

“Uh— Yes, I uh, of course, sir.”

“Busted,” Kaleb teased and whispered into Ren’s ear. He decided to untangle himself and get up off of the couch before he decided to see if he could get Ren to blush even farther by pointing out how adorable he looked when he did so.

“I’ll go speak with Mom and then we’ll go because you both need your rest.” He gave Ren’s hand a squeeze before he looked back at his father. “I think we’ll stay here at home for a couple of days until they release Mom. They’re looking into what happened right? Making sure it was just an accident and not something more?”

The elder Langston nodded. “They are. And now that we know your mother is okay, I should call your brother and fill him in.”

Kaleb couldn’t help but smirk at his father’s excuse to be elsewhere. Then he looked back at Ren. “You going to be okay out here alone for a few minutes?”

Ren shot Kaleb a look that was a mix of embarrassment and frustration, recognising the senior Langston’s way of making a polite exit. “Other than the fact that I want to die right now? Yeah, I think I’ll be perfectly fine.” To which he simply waved Kaleb away and buried his face in his heads, resolved not to go out in public ever again.

March 29th, 2020

Kaleb had taken Ren home with him the night before and promptly tucked him away into his bed. After everything that had happened it hadn’t taken long for him to follow suit as well. Ren was still asleep however when Kaleb woke up the next morning and slipped away to call and see how his mother was and then to text Miles back and fill him in on what happened and to see just how pissed off everyone was that he had run off on another society event. Not that he really cared, all things considered.

Ren was still asleep when Kaleb came back and so he slipped back into bed and under the covers before scooting over so that he could wrap his arms around him. It wasn’t the first time they had shared a bed together. They often had a bad habit of falling asleep in Kaleb’s bed together back at the Firehouse while watching something but this time was different. This time everything had changed and Kaleb didn’t have to worry about the way he held or touch Ren. Something he took full advantage of as he buried his face into the crook of Ren’s neck and nuzzled it.

“Alright, Angel Face, enough sleep before I change your name to Sleepy.”

Waking up in the arms of someone else was not something that Ren had experienced before. Not like this. He was aware of, firstly, the presence of someone familiar—a sensation of fondness, the awareness of it being morning and light, the sounds of activity outside the window. He wasn’t fully awake yet, but even then, he recognised that warmth and that presence in his mind, pressing back against Kaleb even as the other brought him close.

The strain of carrying Ophelia with him as they navigated her consciousness had caused him to fall asleep pretty much as soon as they got back the night before. But he hadn’t even dreamt that night. It had been a good many hours of restful sleep. Still, he couldn’t help burrowing deeper under the covers at Kaleb’s insistence.

“—mphfmm” A bleary mumble that didn’t quite sound intelligible at all. “—more minutes.” Though instead of running away from the person trying to wake him up, Ren only seemed to draw himself closer in Kaleb’s arms.

That mumble only served to cause Kaleb to chuckle and kiss the curve of Ren’s neck. “Fine. You can sleep for a few more minutes. Then I’m going to insist you get up and eat something.” Odds were that Ren hadn’t been remembering to eat like he should have been while there had been distance between them. It was something that Kaleb had worried about.

For now, Kaleb was going to enjoy the lack of distance between them and was more than happy to pull Ren in closer to him as he snuggled in closer as they were burrowed under the covers together. He let his legs tangle with Ren’s as he completely sheltered his body with his and soaked in the warm feel of having Ren pressed back against him. Unable to to help himself, he slid his fingers up under Ren’s shirt and stroked them over his stomach before sliding up to his chest. Kaleb gently rubbed his chest while he held him, simply marveling over the fact that he could hold him like this.

Ren had been content to lie there, Kaleb’s arms around him. But he was instantly awake the moment he felt hands running over bare skin, the surprise of Kaleb’s thoughts stretching beyond the sleepy haze of Ren’s own mind and infusing it with a sudden flustered embarrassment that served to yank him out of his inattention at once.

He sat up quickly, and it was clear from the way the pink stained his cheeks that he had been very aware of where Kaleb’s thoughts were leading to if they stayed in bed any longer. “I’m awake,” he announced quickly. “I’m awake now.” Fingers grabbing onto the sheets, he tried to scamper backwards away from their tangled limbs and Kaleb’s dangerously handsome face.

It ought to be a crime to look that good so early in the morning.

“Breakfast,” Ren said hurriedly, as he tried to escape the bed and beat a hasty retreat. “We should have breakfast.”

Kaleb was just amazed that Ren didn’t manage to fall out of the bed as he tried to make his retreat and couldn’t help that the laugh escaped. It had been a close call though. “If you had gotten up when I had said to—” He gave Ren a very pointed look from where he still lay in the bed.

“But you’re right. Breakfast. Because my money is on that you haven’t been eating nearly as often as you should have this past week.”

He couldn’t help but continue to grin at him because Ren was way too adorable when he was blushing like that. “Breakfast and then we should probably talk before you decide to jump out the window to escape,” Kaleb teased, as he rolled out of the bed the other way.

Still thoroughly pink, Ren retreated to the washroom to freshen up and also to give himself a few moments to compose himself and curse himself—quietly, so Kaleb didn’t hear—for being completely embarrassing, before he appeared in the kitchen.

They’d decided to stay at the Langston family house instead of a hotel or heading back to school right away, expecting that Kaleb’s mom would require awhile to recover. Ren had agreed to stay too, knowing that Kaleb would want to make sure that his mom was completely okay before they went back to Havisham.

Ren came up to Kaleb from the back, peering over his friend’s shoulder to try to see what Kaleb was up to and how he could help. “What are you making? Can I help?”

“Bacon. Eggs. English muffins.” Kaleb peered over his shoulder at Ren. He had to resist the urge to kiss him, figuring after his earlier reaction that they should probably talk before he tried anything else. Maybe now in the light of morning Ren was having second thoughts about where this might be headed. “Unless there’s something else you want.” To which Ren simply shook his head.

Once he had the bacon in the pan, he glanced over his shoulder at Ren again. “Speaking of eggs, there’s someone else who’s missed you. I had Elisabeth send Ghost but haven’t moved his cage out of the living room yet since I didn’t want to wake you.”

After having been away from him for the week they were in Cabo and Ghost being upset over only one of them seeming to return from the trip, Kaleb wasn’t about to leave him alone for the weekend even if he knew Miles would take care of him.

“Ghost!” Ren exclaimed delightedly, before disappearing momentarily to the living room to retrieve the familiar in question.

Sounds of Ren laughing and excited chittering could be heard. And only after a few moments did Ren appear again, ferret in his arms. “How’s your mom?” Ren asked again, after he came back. He had been so exhausted last night he hadn’t managed to ask in detail. He was certain the Langstons would have updated Kaleb in the time since they had been back here too, especially now that Ophelia was awake and hopefully doing better. “What time should we go back to see her?”

Once again Kaleb had to wonder just who’s familiar Ghost really was as he looked at the two happily reunited.

“I spoke with my father this morning. They moved her out of ICU now that she’s awake and out of any danger there,” He shot Ren a grateful look before grabbing a second pan to start the eggs in. He didn’t even bother asking how Ren wanted his eggs since he had cooked for him enough that he already knew. “Shields stopped most of the damage. I got a feeling she focused most of those on my father which is why he walked from it with but a few scraps.”

Not that Kaleb could blame his mother. He knew that he would do the same to protect Ren. He always had.

“I figured we’ll go visit her this afternoon. Give her some more time to rest.” And give them time to talk.

Ren nodded and settled at the counter, leaning against it and petting Ghost on his furry head. “Sounds good to me.” He liked watching Kaleb work. Liked the look of seriousness and focus on his face, liked even the way his back looked—firm and dependable.

Maybe he was being a little too biased. The thought occurred to him. But he couldn’t help it all the same. He’d had to stop himself from staring too often before they came to be open with each other about their feelings. Now that they had, Ren had no desire to hide any longer. He wanted to look to his heart’s content.

“Of course she would. Your mom’s just like you, in many ways.” Which Ren wasn’t unaware of. Fiercely protective and loyal, that was how two of his most favourite Langstons were.

“I’m just glad she’s going to be okay.” Kaleb really didn’t know what he would have done if she hadn’t been. For all his complaining he had done over the years of his mother making him attend dinners and parties in support of his father’s ambitions, she had also always been there when he needed her. She had always been there when Ren needed her as well and that had always just made him even more grateful for her.

He popped the English muffins into the toaster before grabbing the butter and jam out of the fridge. Most families like the Langstons kept a full staff to do these things for them and while they did in their larger house outside the city limits, the townhouse inside the city was much more like a family home and part of the reason that Kaleb preferred it.

The butter and jam was followed by Kaleb setting a glass of orange juice in front of Ren. “Coffee later if you want it but right now I want you drinking this after all that energy you used up last night.” Kaleb didn’t realize just how very much of his mother he was channeling right now.

Ren scrunched his nose at the glass of juice. But nonetheless, took it and drank a sip of it obediently. He would have very much preferred that coffee. But if it was this or Kaleb frowning at him the whole morning, he would take the juice anytime and stick with it.

“I’m completely fine now,” Ren told Kaleb, spreading his hands out in front of him as if in demonstration, the perfect picture of I’m fine and you’re overreacting. “I just needed sleep. Which, by the way, I had a lot of last night. So I’m all good now.”

Ren smiled at Kaleb.

Kaleb looked over Ren to decide for himself that he was fine, then his gaze lingered longer than it had to as he smiled back. There was a reason that Kaleb called him Angel Face and it wasn’t just for the emoji. Ren always looked far too angelic when he smiled at Kaleb. “You’re fine alright.” Kaleb gave him a wink before he turned back to the food. He put extra on Ren’s plate knowing that he’d end up sharing some of it with Ghost and sat the plates down on the island counter.

“I think you may have been asleep before even hitting the bed last night,” he agreed as he gave in and sat coffee in front of Ren next. He sat a mug down for himself then stood on the other side of the counter to eat instead of going around and sitting on the other stool.

“Now that you have slept—how are you feeling about other things?”

Ren was in the middle of spreading some butter on his muffins, cutting a small piece and chewing. Ghost, naturally, got a piece too. It was only after feeding the little ferret that Ren looked back up at Kaleb again, still smiling. “Hm? What other things?”

Kaleb in turn was not surprised by this question in return. He knew that Ren wasn’t playing dumb but was rather really not following along with his current train of thought right now. Still, he watched Ren for a moment while he finished off a piece of bacon before he elaborated. “Things that we talked about last night at the hospital.”

Another piece of bacon got devoured before he went on. “You know, the whole feelings confusions. I know helping my mom took a lot out of you and now that you’ve slept and it’s the light of day—”

Ah. That. Remembering that conversation filled Ren with a curious sensation. In the light of day, it almost didn’t feel real—like it had all happened in a dream. But he remembered everything he’d said. And he meant every word of it too.

“I don’t think any differently,” Ren said quietly. “It’s how I’ve always felt.” He reached across and stroked the back of Kaleb’s hand with his thumb, a small motion of reassurance.

That small bit of reassurance was what Kaleb needed and his shoulders relaxed visibly. “Okay, good. I don’t think I could go back to pretending otherwise if you asked me to. But I wanted to be sure before you ended up jumping out a window or something. There are an awful lot of bushes planted under them,” Kaleb pointed out, teasing him.

“Though you are awful cute when you blush like you did earlier, Angel Face.” Kaleb grinned at him. Then he grabbed his hand and brought it up to his mouth to kiss the back of his knuckles before releasing it.

Remembering this morning brought a different kind of embarrassment. “That’s— We should be careful.” The last thing Ren wanted was a replay of Langston senior catching them like he had the night before. As it was, Ren was convinced the Senator was avoiding coming back to the family home because he’d known Kaleb and Ren would be sharing a room. In his exhaustion last night, Ren even forgot to bring up the fact that they probably should sleep in separate rooms while they were still at the Langston family home.

“Your parents actually like me. Let’s not make them change their opinion, shall we?” Though that said, Ren didn’t make a move to take his hand away from Kaleb’s touch.

That caused Kaleb to set his fork down and push his plate aside so that he could lean across the counter—all the better to peer into Ren’s face across from him. “Angel Face, my mother has known for years and has been hoping I’d cut my bullshit and tell you. It’s why she stopped trying to point me in the direction of any eligible guys she knew of at her parties long ago. And my father will just be glad to see me cut the bullshit period. My parents are not going to care nor change their opinion of you. Especially my mother.”

Kaleb encased Ren’s hand with both of his and brought it up to his lips once more. “However, if there’s other reasons, we should probably talk about those. I’m not the mind reader here, Ren so you have to help me out. I don’t want to do anything that makes you uncomfortable—even if I adore that blush. But this is new for us both and we should probably figure out the ground we stand on.”

Knowing his feelings for Kaleb was one thing. Having to talk about them was quite another. Ren wasn’t quite sure what else he ought to say. He had only ever felt this way about one person in his life. And that was the man in front of him. It wasn’t as though he had any previous experience to speak of or even any knowledge of what to expect.

“I’m not—” Ren realised that there was something that Kaleb was mistaken about here. And unfortunately the only way to disabuse him of that notion was to use his words. How terrible that for all Ren loved to write about everything and anything he thought up, he’d never thought he’d have to spell out his inadequate experience like this. “I’m not uncomfortable. I just— I still feel like your father can walk in on us anytime.” Again, this wasn’t exactly hard to understand, given that it had actually happened last night. “And your mom’s also still in hospital and…” All of those were real reasons, of course. But there was also another, larger reason.

“I’ve never—” Ren hesitated, flushing again, for entirely different reasons this time. “I don’t want—” To disappoint you. The words caught on his throat, tight all of a sudden. “What if you hate it,” Ren concluded, unable to stay positive at the mere thought of that.

What if this changed things forever and they couldn’t go back to being as close as they were before? The thought rose, unbidden, in his mind and refused to disappear.

No longer content with the amount of space between them—especially when he could figure out where Ren’s mind was going with this—Kaleb came around so that he could wrap his arms around Ren. Kaleb was very aware of the fact that Ren had never been with anyone, had always figured it had more to do with how uncomfortable touching others could be for him. “I could never hate it because it’s with you.” He couldn’t help but draw Ren in for a brief kiss before he continued.

“Now, as much as I’d love to toss you over my shoulder and carry you off to my bedroom to do every wicked thing I have ever imagined doing to you, and there’s been a lot,” thoughts that were a lot harder to hide now that the band-aid had been tore off, “I’ll wait as long as I have to for you to be ready. Whether that’s tonight or a year for now, I’m not going to rush you, Angel Face.”

The same worry was in the back of Kaleb’s mind but at the same time he figured that it was already too late. Now that he had admitted to Ren that he loved him there would never be a way to go back to pretending otherwise. The past week had proven that. Kaleb looked at him with all the love and fondness he felt for him and stroked his thumb over his cheek. “Oh, honey, I'd walk through fire for you. Just let me adore you, like it's the only thing I'll ever do,” he sang to him. “It’s the only thing I’ll ever do.”

Ren laughed at Kaleb’s antics, expression fond. “Stop being silly,” he said, part exasperation and equal part shyness.

But after a pause, he leaned in closer to whisper in Kaleb’s ear. “I’d do the same for you.”

April 2nd, 2020

Since coming back from Boston it had been all too easy for Ren and Kaleb to fall into the same sort of complacent, easy comfort in each other’s presence. Things slowly shifted back into place: Ren appearing in the Firehouse once again, underfoot and all around the kitchen, lounging in the living area, ever-present in Kaleb’s room, the smiles on his face too—genuine now, instead of forced.

Kaleb’s room was exactly the way he remembered it—familiar and filled with the little things that reminded Ren so strongly of Kaleb: the leather jacket draped hap-hazardly over his desk chair, thick tomes of grimoires on illusion magic, even the sheets that smelled faintly of cigarettes. Ren lay on his stomach and stuffed a pillow under his chin, turning the next page as he filled out his current one with scribbles and opened a fresh new one to defile.

“What did you use to do,” Ren asked, tone somewhat distracted as the beginnings of a cartoon and miniature Kaleb appeared on this fresh new page, complete with bedhair. He looked up at Kaleb momentarily, lying beside him on the other’s spacious bed, approximating that upwards curl of his lip that Kaleb wore often. “I mean, with your past lovers,” Ren clarified, filling in the strokes to detail Kaleb’s hair as mini-Kaleb smirked up at him from his otherwise empty page.

Propped up and laying beside Ren in bed while reading a copy of the Pseudomonarchia Daemonum, that was not a question that Kaleb had been expecting to come out of Ren’s mouth. It was clear in the way that he peered over the edge of the book at Ren, Kaleb’s glasses slipping down his nose for a moment as he did before he pushed them back up.

As much as Kaleb wanted to look back down at his book and pretend that he hadn’t just heard the question, he knew that he couldn’t and instead lay it down open across his chest so that he could really look at Ren, cocking his head to the side in a curious manner as he was known to do when trying to figure something out.

“What brought on that question?”

Ren didn’t have to be a telepath to sense the waves of curiosity emanating from Kaleb. But he continued the finishing touches on his cartoon-Kaleb, laughing at the mohawk style he was now sporting.

“Hm? It’s just—” Ren continued to draw, not at all fussed by the conversation they were having. Instead, he was moving onto his next version of Kaleb, now with glasses and a question mark over his head. “I feel like I should be doing something different for you now. Doing something you like, or I don’t know—something. Instead, we’re doing what we usually do anyway and holing up in your room like always.” Though Ren was not necessarily being productive per se. Instead of continuing to write this next chapter, he was doodling in his notes.

Finally, as he looked up again to actual Kaleb to try to figure out what cartoon-Kaleb should be wearing, he asked, “Maybe I should buy you some flowers. Do you like flowers?”

Kaleb slid a bookmark into the grimoire and sat it aside this time so that he could roll over onto his side while he watched Ren. He wasn’t wrong. They had fallen right back into their old ways but had felt natural to Kaleb for them to do so since in many ways what they had before had been pretty close to a relationship as it was. Certainly the closest Kaleb had ever had to one. “I’m not sure I’d define hookups and one night stands as lovers.”

Not the way Kaleb thought of it anyway. Not the way he wanted to be with Ren.

“And you don’t need to be doing anything for me. Certainly not buy me flowers though I feel like maybe I should be the one buying you flowers.”

He couldn’t help but give Ren a wry smile. “Besides, last time I tried to touch you, you flew out of bed so fast it’s amazing you didn’t tumble out the window,” Kaleb reminded him. “And I promised I’d wait until you decided you were ready for more.”

Ren hadn’t necessarily been thinking along those exact lines. But the look Kaleb gave him now made him acutely aware of their relative positions to each other. If he shifted, the length of his thigh would press against Kaleb’s. As it was, he could feel the minute way the bed sank under them as Kaleb turned to look at him.

“I didn’t mean—” But perhaps, in some way, he had. Because that was a large part of this transition into their changed relationship, wasn’t it? “I meant taking you out on a nice date, or something.” What did people who dated normally do? Wasn’t it watching movies and having dinners at nice restaurants together? Admittedly, these weren’t all that different from the things that Kaleb and Ren already did together. Friday nights were often spent chilling together and watching netflix with pizza and beer.

And apart from that…

Ren stared at Kaleb, at the intent way that his best friend looked at him, so focused on what Ren wanted that he couldn’t see what was right in front of him. “And how do I decide that?” Ren asked, biting his lip. He set aside his book and pen, reaching instead to run fingers down the side of Kaleb’s face, tucking a stray strand of dark brown hair behind Kaleb’s ear.

“I don’t think I’ll ever be as good as you are at kissing,” Ren confessed, a soft but nonetheless fond whisper. “Or anything else, for that matter.”

Suddenly things became a lot clearer for Kaleb and what Ren had been asking. He had been confused because what Kaleb did in the past with others was nowhere near what Ren had been asking of him. It was why Kaleb’s mind had jumped immediately to other things.

“Angel Face, this whole committed relationship, dating thing is as new to me as it is to you. I’ve never taken or been on a date with anyone. You’re the only one I’ve ever shared anything like that with. Any kind of emotional or real intmancy with that wasn’t just about a few minutes of fleeting pleasure,” Kaleb explained. “If you want to go out on dates, we’ll go out on dates.”

Kaleb remembered the kiss at the hospital and had to disagree about Ren not being good. The kiss had not been a bad one on at all. The way Ren had responded to him, grabbed his shirt to pull him closer. Kaleb also remembered Ren worrying about the same thing the next day in the kitchen back in Boston. Worry about disappointing him.

“You don’t know until you try.” But Kaleb made no move to kiss him Ren, instead leaving it up to him to decide what he wanted to do.

The idea that there was a whole string of lovers before him was not a foreign one to Ren. He had always known, in no uncertain terms, that Kaleb was free with his pleasure-seeking ways. Ren hadn’t begrudged his best friend his needs when they had been simply friends, and he didn’t begrudge him now—unfair as that would be. But it did leave Ren acutely aware of the shortfall between his experience and Kaleb’s.

And Ren was a lot of things. But bravery was as far away from his list of talents as it could get.

He averted his eyes, focusing instead tracing small circles over the top of Kaleb’s stomach through the thin, loose shirt he wore in a distracted way, his mind a million miles away. “I want to do what you’d like too,” Ren said. Sometimes he marveled at the way Kaleb saw him—the odd glimpses of himself he found through Kaleb’s eyes, the way he seemed almost to glow, like nothing could ever be wrong with Ren. Kaleb’s way of loving put Ren on a pedestal he knew he didn’t deserve, and he wasn’t sure how he could correct that.

He shifted, pressing closer to Kaleb. “You’re allowed to want things too. Or not like the things that I say or do,” Ren said, his tone growing urgent as he sensed that he wasn’t quite getting his point across.

If ever there was going to be a downfall between them it would end being the fact that they each worried too much about what the other wanted over what they did. And Kaleb may have been slower to pick up on things since he didn’t have the advantage that Ren did but he finally caught on to the shift in Ren’s tone.

“Ren,” Kaleb started, his tone going completely serious, “despite the fact that I tend to act like you are positively perfect in every way, I can name off many, many ways that I know that you are not. Some of them may even drive me crazy at times. But I love you anyway and you're still my Angel Face. You always will be.”

With Ren having come as close as Kaleb knew he was going to, he gave in and reached out to pull him closer before he lowered his head to capture his lips with his. He started off slow, giving Ren the chance to pull or push him away if it was too much or unwanted.

As much as he hadn’t expected the kiss, Ren didn’t push Kaleb away.

This kiss was just as sweet as he remembered the first to be, coloured with an oddly anxious undertone. It wasn’t an emotion that Ren frequently associated with Kaleb. And it gave Ren the courage to push further. He drew closer still to Kaleb, teeth grazing Kaleb’s soft lower lip, dragging lightly on it as he pulled away only to say in a shaky, breathless laugh, “You have no idea how kissing you drives me crazy.”

Maybe it was the mix of what they had been discussing earlier, or the fact that Ren had been entertaining possibilities for awhile, or the simple fact that Kaleb’s wants fueled Ren’s own nervous desire. Whenever their lips touched, it was as though Ren’s thoughts multiplied a tenfold—impossible to see where his ended and Kaleb’s began. But always, always, the heady sensation of the intense love he felt—they both felt—ever-present.

Ren slid a hand up under Kaleb’s shirt, brushing against skin, memories conflating with the echoes of desire. He remembered them lying in this very same room, their backs pressed together as they worked. Then months later, Ren holding Kaleb as he tried to fight his rising frustration after an argument with his father. Interposed, a picture of two bodies, faceless, legs entwined and bodies moving in time to a rhythm that only they knew. Moments like this, thoughts of them got mixed up in the simmer of emotion and memory, of what had happened and what they’d both wanted and what they’d imagined things to be.

Kaleb wasn’t sure how Ren could have ever thought that he’d be bad at this. Or that Kaleb wouldn’t enjoy kissing him because kissing Ren was unlike kissing anyone else. Any other kisses that had come before Ren’s didn’t matter—it was as if they had never happened at all. All that mattered was the feel of Ren’s lips against his, the taste of him.

How many times had he thought about kissing Ren like this? To have Ren kiss him back and touch him? Kaleb couldn’t help but wrap an arm around him and pull him close before he rolled Ren onto his back, hovering over him as he deepened the kiss. He couldn’t help the thoughts that came to mind, having Ren under him like this and as they broke for air, his attention turned to Ren’s neck for a moment, lips moving over it before he finally pulled back down into Ren’s face.

“Are you okay? This isn’t all too overwhelming for you is it?” Even as he asked it, Kaleb couldn’t help reach up and run a thumb over Ren’s kiss swollen lips. This much touching and contact, he knew that there was currently nothing hidden from his best friend. Kaleb was laid completely bare to him in a way he never could be to anyone else. “I’ve wanted to kiss you like that for so long.”

Ren stared up at Kaleb, hair tousled, eyes bright with fevered want. It felt like he had run a marathon, like all the air had gone out of his lungs. And yet he wanted more. “I see that now,” Ren said, immeasurably fond. There were parts of him that wasn’t quite so sure that Ophelia hiding Kaleb’s emotions from him was the best course of action, though he certainly agreed that not doing so would have made puberty relentlessly confusing. But it had also hidden this from him: the magnitude of Kaleb’s feelings for him, the way their skin against each other made him feel. It was the best sort of reassurance that Ren could have, knowing that he wanted and was wanted in return.

This after a lifetime of never being able to claim anything for himself.

He slid a hand to cup the back of Kaleb’s head and, shifting, feet braced flat against the edge of the bed, drew himself up to meet the other’s lips. “Sometimes,” Ren started, a hint of amusement and teasing in his voice. “Overwhelming can be a good thing.”

Dragging Kaleb down to meet him, the hard planes of that firm body separated by a thin layer of cotton, Ren ran his palm down Kaleb’s wide back to the small of it, teeth bumping against Kaleb’s in a heated kiss. “I wish you could see it too; that I feel the same way.” The benefits and pitfalls of dating a telepath: things were easier and more difficult at the same time, thoughts didn’t have to make its way past Kaleb’s lips, but Ren’s relative inadequacy in expressing himself gave him a disadvantage that left him reeling. “I want to give you everything that you could ever want,” Ren said in a husky whisper against Kaleb’s lips. “That’s all I’ve always wanted.”

There was something about that husky sound in Ren’s voice that Kaleb had never heard before that was his undoing. That tone and the reassures he was given was enough to sap the last of any control he had as he kissed him deeply, lips and tongue determined to show Ren just how much he wanted him even if the telepath could tell it for himself. “You’ve all I’ve ever wanted,” he answered back, his own voice thick and husky with desire. “And I’m all yours Angel Face. However you want me.”

This new passionate side of Ren that Kaleb was seeing thrilled him and only fed into his own desire. Now that it was awakened in him, Kaleb wanted to see more of it. He wanted to see what gasp as moans he could pull from him as he moved from Ren’s lips to scrap his teeth and his lips up over the column of his neck even as their bodies strained to press together.

Having Ren touch him wasn’t enough and his own hand slid up to inch up under the fabric as it had that morning in Boston, only he knew that this time Ren wasn’t going to end up jumping out of bed on him as Kaleb’s finger brushed over the bareskin of his sides and stroked upwards. Completely yours, Kaleb thought at him, letting the truth of that wash over Ren.

Ren’s thighs parted to allow Kaleb to fit better between them, tongue clashing against Kaleb’s as he breathed in the scent of him and let the force of that need wash over him. His— or Kaleb’s? Didn’t matter.

His hands fumbled with the waistband of Kaleb’s jeans, freeing him, his own heart thundering in his chest. This close, he felt like Kaleb must have heard it, the rabbiting of the pulse in his wrist against Kaleb’s hip. There was a moment’s hesitation, the brief filter of anxious self-doubt through the haze of desire. But Ren barreled through it with the determination of a novice at love, fingers curling around Kaleb’s flesh. “Mine,” he agreed.

April 4th, 2020

Kaleb had been thinking about this date thing ever since Ren had brought it up. The problem was he had never actually been on a date. On the one hand he figured this should be a no brainer since it was Ren and if there was one thing Kaleb was good at it was planning things. However, just as staying in and doing what they normally did wasn’t any different, getting dressed up and going out for a fancy dinner didn’t seem any different than anything else in their lives either.

Besides, Kaleb had his fill of fancy dinners for a while.

Which was how Kaleb ended up not dressed to the nines as usual but actually dressed down in a pair of tight jeans, a dark pullover long sleeve shirt with the few buttons it had on top undone, and his leather jacket. He had his arm around Ren’s waist as they walked down the streets of Philadelphia towards their undisclosed destination.

“I promise if you hate this that I will make it up to you later by whisking you off to Paris for brunch. But considering I’m sure the Moms will be trying to drag us to a fancy lunch or dinner soon anyway, I thought we’d do something more casual tonight for our first actual date.” As it was, Ren was one of the very few people who ever got to see the more relaxed, casual side to Kaleb. The actual relaxed, casual side and not the one he displayed to everyone else.

The suggestion of a date had been one that Ren brought up because of a curiosity. A need to see what it was that other people did—that qualified dating. Excited as he had been when Kaleb unceremoniously announced tonight ‘date night’, there was also a minor sense of trepidation: he and Kaleb knew everything there was to know about each other, had fallen into their own rhythm of getting along with each other. Would different be good? Could it be better than what they already had? Or were they simply grasping at straws?

But walking down the street with Kaleb’s arm around his waist caused a funny skipping of his heart and a corresponding fluttering somewhere in the pit of his stomach. The eyes of other people walking on the streets on them felt inquisitive. But with Kaleb pulling him closer, or his arm tightening around him, it said just two people happy in love. And that was different too. Embarrassingly but heart-warmingly so.

Given a choice, Ren was always going to feel more comfortable in a relaxed, easy setting compared to the Michelin-starred restaurants that he knew many of the well-to-do political families favoured—including the Langstons. “I like this,” he told Kaleb. “Casual feels nice. You look very handsome.” Smiling, he tugged at Kaleb’s hand around his waist, transferring it carefully to his own hand, linking their fingers together and giving it a squeeze as he brought their intertwined hands into his own coat pocket, carefully rubbing the back of Kaleb’s palm with his thumb as he tried to warm it up as they continued on down the sidewalk.

Kaleb smiled back and it was there in his smile and the way his eyes lingered on Ren just what he felt for him. It said something for his ability to fool those around him that no one had ever caught on to just how deep his feelings for Ren ran, especially whenever he’d send lingering glances his way whenever he knew Ren was too engrossed in something else to notice. Now he didn’t have to hide those looks or the more than friendly touches.

“And you always look handsome, Angel Face,” Kaleb pointed out in return. His free hand had him brushing his fingers along Ren’s jaw. Casual was nice. Being able to be open with Ren was even nicer.

Guiding them around the corner of the street, Kaleb lead them to an Irish Pub and down the stairs into it, guiding Ren inside. The two most certainly did know everything there was to know about it other so they hardly needed to sit around at a fancy restaurant talking. If Kaleb had wanted to talk he much preferred their routine of laying in bed together and doing so while staring up at the ceiling. Instead he had something much different in mind.

The bar wasn’t so crowded that Kaleb like he had to worry too much about Ren feeling uncomfortable. Not like if he had taken him to a club where there would have been a large press of bodies, And here in this Ordinary bar, no one was going to be able to tell that Kaleb was the son of an Otherworld Senator. They were just two guys out for the night. “Just beer or something else?”

“I’ll have whatever you’re having.” Ren answered with a smile.

The pub was a casual, cozy place. There wasn’t a huge crowd that Ren would have expected, but instead, the light was slightly dim and the soft sound of people murmuring around them set the mood for a casual atmosphere.

Kaleb’s thoughts felt like a constant gentle ruffling against the edges of his mind. Touching like this—with no holds barred—was always a risk. But with Kaleb, whom he had known and loved forever, the drawbacks were reduced to a minimum. “I like this place too. It’s quiet enough for us.” Picking up on the most salient thought in Kaleb’s mind and commenting on it.

“Beer it is.” Because Kaleb didn’t need anything stronger than that to drink. Not when he was out with Ren like this and he felt calm and relaxed. The stronger liquors had always to help Kaleb cope with his problems—or rather not cope with them. Right now, Kaleb felt freer than he could ever remember being. There wasn’t anymore hiding or keeping anything a secret. He may still have issues to deal with as far as the society went that would likely send him drinking later, but right now he was able to just enjoy being with Ren and loving him.

After they had gotten their beers, Kaleb tugged Ren back up with their connected hands and lead him back towards the back of the pub where it was even quieter. For now the pool tables were empty this early in the night and that’s just what Kaleb wanted.

“I’ve decided Angel Face that it’s time you learn how to play pool.”

A small tendril of surprise showed clearly on Ren’s face. He had never really spent his time in pubs and bars much and pool was an entirely foreign concept to him. He could learn it, of course. But there had always been little incentive to. He couldn’t help a bemused grin. “Is it?”

He took Kaleb’s lead though, walking to the edge of one of the unoccupied pool tables in the small pub and taking a cue for himself, giving the other to Kaleb.

“What brought this on?”

“When I thought about something casual we could do together that we haven’t done together, this came to mind.” Normally because when Kaleb went out to play pool it was to hustle. He very much used his magic to cheat whether it be as at an Ordinary bar or an Otherworld one. Not that he had any plans to cheat tonight.

He shrugged out of his leather jacket and set it aside as he racked up the balls. “Besides, I figured it could be very, very fun to teach you how to play.” He gave Ren that suggestive wink of his and even without them touching right now it didn’t take a mindreader to figure out just what Kaleb was thinking.

Ren caught Kaleb’s look and laughed, disguising it as a cough so he wouldn’t draw the attention of the others in the pub. It was a good thing the lighting in the pub was dim, it hid the pink on his cheeks. This was new too: the casual flirting, the suggestive touches and hints that constantly let Ren know that this was real, that Kaleb wanted him in a way different than others.

His eyes followed Kaleb’s and his every move: from the way he walked across the room, to the snug stretch of the henley across his chest as he took off his jacket—things Ren had told himself he wasn’t allowed to do before. He gripped his cue stick a little tighter in his fingers, anticipation making his lips dry. “Behave yourself,” Ren said once Kaleb came within earshot, walking the edge of playing and bashful.

Kaleb grinned at that. “Me? Behave myself? You have met me right,” he teased. They both knew that was not about to happen. Especially now that he didn’t have to behave himself when it came to Ren. He could actually flirt with him, let the innuendos happen when always before he was careful just how far he went with such things where Ren was concerned. He didn’t have to pretend anymore that he didn’t want him.

He chalked up his cue stick and then blew off the extra chalk, his eyes on Ren as he did before giving him a wink. Knowing that he had Ren’s full attention, Kaleb didn’t even bother asking him if he wanted to break, He took the opportunity to lean forward in full view of Ren and do so, right now more focused on drawing his eye then actually sinking any of the balls.

Straightening back up, he walked suggestively around Ren. “I’m sure you know the basics idea right? Sinking balls into holes—or pockets if you will.”

Kaleb liked to play. Ren knew that well enough. He had seen his friend at it too many times. But he had never had that sort of attention directed at him. And it felt… nice. Novel, but nice. He liked this and wanted it: the thrum of Kaleb’s attention, the look in his eyes as he watched Ren across the pool table, the need that crested in reaction to everything that Ren said or did. And Ren responded in kind.

“I think I have that part down,” Ren answered, trying and failing to stifle a grin, picking up his own cue stick to approximate the pose that Kaleb had shown just earlier.

A “hmm” came from Kaleb as he acted like he was critiquing Ren’s form, and he was, but there were definitely other reasons that he was watching him so closely. “You’re a little off in how you're holding it. Here, let me help.”

Kaleb sat his cue aside and came around the table so that he could come up behind Ren. He knew the moment that he touched Ren that the telepath was going to know that this was the whole reason Kaleb had decided to teach him how to play was so that he could flirt and touch him like this but that didn’t matter. What did matter was leaning forward so that he could press against Ren’s back and then slid his hand up his arm, correcting the way he had his arm angled as he did, until Kaleb’s hand covered his.

“See, like this.” Kaleb was close enough that his breath was hot against the back of Ren’s neck as he spoke.

The back of his neck felt incongruently warm. Kaleb’s hand on his own made it difficult to concentrate, for more reasons than one. The fact that Kaleb had started this with not entirely innocent intentions was apparent, but the hand on his arm and the firm, proprietary press of Kaleb’s back against his own was possessive too.

Ren took his shot— and missed in spectacular fashion, the clack of his cue ball bouncing off against a random other in the corner, entirely too far from any of the pockets, was loud and remonstrating.

He turned around and fixed Kaleb with a doubtful look, free hand tugging lightly at the collar of Kaleb’s shirt. “I feel like your ‘help’ is more distracting than it really helps.”

“Hmm. Really,” Kaleb mused aloud. There was a grin on his face as he did because they both knew that had been part of the reason for him doing it. He stepped in even closer as Ren tugged on his collar so that his body brushed up against his. “I suppose I should watch where my thoughts wander then least I end up distracting you even more.”

He had decided there were advantages to dating a telepath. Not that Kaleb had ever been bothered by Ren’s ability. Even with the misunderstanding that had happened before— that one thought Ren had picked up,—Kaleb didn’t blame it on his being a telepath at all. It was just a natural part of who he was and Kaleb had always accepted that and never felt differently about Ren for it. And right now it worked very much to his advantage as he thought about how he’d like to set Ren on the edge of the pool table so he could push his shirt up and start kissing his way down before dropping to his knees before him. And the corresponding gasp from real Ren standing in front of him, cheeks aflame and unable to meet Kaleb’s eyes.

Kaleb let that thought linger for a moment and wash over Ren before he stepped away and took up his pool cue again. “Seems unfair of me to keep distracting you. I’ll try and behave.” The devilish look in his eyes as he stopped and took a drink of his beer—his own mouth suddenly dry—said how likely that was to happen.

Leaning over the table, he sunk two of the balls before glancing back up at Ren. “Looks like you’re stripes.”

Arms snaking around Kaleb’s back, Ren slipped fingers upwards in Kaleb’s soft, dark hair, bringing those lips closer, kissing a trail down his neck, thankful for the solid weight of Kaleb in front, keeping Ren propped up against the door in place of his suddenly weak lower limbs.

“I’m pretty sure we managed at least an hour but then it’s not like I was counting,” Kaleb returned, the words coming out broken in between stolen kisses. It wasn’t like it was his fault that the thought of kissing and touching Ren drove him crazy. Nor that he couldn’t behave himself.

Okay, maybe that last one was a little bit of his fault. Or rather a lot his fault.

Kaleb quickly shed his jacket, letting it fall to the floor, before his hands returned to Ren’s body. They tugged at the hem of his shirt so they could slide up under to touch the smooth skin underneath. He still couldn’t help but marvel over the fact that he could touch Ren like this and that was part of the problem of keeping his hands—and his thoughts—to himself. At the moment, he was completely torn between there being too many clothes standing in the way between them and the thought of having to actually step away get rid of any more of them.

Holding hands in public had been a terrible idea, touching in public was terrible too—in reality, Ren might have grossly overestimated their suitability for being outdoors, what with his ability and Kaleb’s unrestrained imagination. The result was a dinner choked with anticipation, bombarding Ren’s senses with filthy promises and possibilities.

“—’s the last time I’m ever playing pool with you.” Straining, pushing, and then biting down on his lip to keep from making noise against the slow, deliberate grinding of Kaleb’s hips against his own.

He gripped Kaleb’s bicep in warning, eyes dark with need, pulling apart for a heartbeat, “—bed. We should—” Breathe. Kiss, lips smashing, tasting. Struggling to remember the reason for it, certainly not as important as the—

—nudging pale thighs apart, bracing against the edge of the wooden frame before sinking deep into—

“Bed, Kaleb.”

“Hmmm—” the sound almost coming out as a question as Kaleb’s mouth was busy tasting and teasing the side of Ren’s neck. Teeth nipped and bit at the sweet, tender flesh now and then only to be smooth over by his tongue and the lingering sucken of his mouth, very well knowing he was leaving marks that were going to linger there tomorrow morning.

Even as distracted as he seemed, Kaleb didn’t have to be told twice.

The whole trip towards the bed, he tried to toe his boots off while at the same time tugging Ren’s shirt off over his head before pressing his body firmly back against his. It resulted in his knees finally hitting the back of the bed and him and Ren going down on to it in a tangle of limbs.

“—if this is where dirty pool manages to get me,” he got out before his hands gripped the sides of Ren’s hips and grinded against him.

Ren fell against the bed, back first, a pillow caught under his left hip. Scrambling backwards, his legs bracing against the edge of the bed, falling apart to allow Kaleb to fit better into the space between them. “I want—” But Ren didn’t know what he wanted. He was struggling to separate thought from desire—his or Kaleb’s, he couldn’t tell anymore.

He felt drunk; winded even though he hadn’t run. There was a constant buzz in his veins that left him trembling and wanting and confusedly aroused. “Are you—” He fumbled with the button on Kaleb’s jeans, then the zip. A sharp intake of breath at the evidence of Kaleb’s desire he felt there. “—gonna fuck me?” Pitched low, his voice somewhere between pleading and demanding.

A brief flare of satisfaction as he managed to free Kaleb and tug those snug, snug jeans down before he caught Kaleb’s lips in a deep, searing kiss once more.

Kaleb’s head fell against Ren’s shoulder as a shudder of desire and more arousal than he ever thought possible ran through his body as Ren asked him that. He had never wanted anyone in his life the way that he wanted Ren. Knew that he’d never want anyway else this much. It showed in the way that his hands shook and fumbled with Ren’s jeans, more in line with someone experiencing their first time than the deft fingers of a skilled lover.

“Is that what you really want,” Kaleb asked as he finally managed to get Ren’s pants undone and his fingers stroked over him. He turned his head so that he was once more kissing his neck before he moved up to devour his mouth once more.

“For me to fuck you?” The words were a hot whisper over Ren’s lips. They had been going slow before now, exploring each other's bodies, but now that it had been said it was all that Kaleb could picture at the moment—Ren’s thighs around him while he sunk into his body, the two of them as one until they came apart in each other’s arms.

The image appeared in his mind in startling clarity and the force of simple want for it left Ren reeling. He almost wept, his breath coming to him in laboured gasps, fingers digging into the thick muscle of Kaleb’s broad back. Pressure built around his mind, a thousand different thoughts culminating, crushing in its demand for attention. “I want—”

Thick and cloying, something dripped down onto the bared expanse of Ren’s chest, trailing down. Ren tore his eyes away from Kaleb for a moment, unable to complete his sentence, sparing instead a look downwards—

Kaleb’s eyes also trailed downwards and quickly realized what was happening. It had been a long time since he had seen Ren have a nosebleed like that. “Fuck.” And not the good kind that he had just been thinking of either. All thoughts of that fled his mind as he moved off of Ren and the bed and quickly moved to the bathroom to grab a wet towel.

“Sit up” he commanded as he returned and helped Ren do just that and brought the towel up to his nose. This wasn’t the first time Kaleb had done this for him but damn, he hadn’t thought he’d end up being the cause especially while in the middle of what they had been doing, “I didn’t break your brain did I?”

The blood was everywhere, dripping down his face, his chest, on Kaleb’s sheets…

Ren took the towel that Kaleb offered gratefully, his cheeks burning—though for an entirely different reason for once. “Thank you.” Though it sounded muffled through the towel.

He looked at the crimson-stained sheets. His face wasn’t quite the same shade, but it was a near thing. Ren wished fervently for the ground to open up and swallow him whole. This head was still throbbing, faintly, the room rocking gently in a way that had nothing to do with natural disasters and everything to do with a sensory overload. He had been—distracted to say the least. His mental barriers left wide open and the onslaught of their mingled thoughts and needs manifested in an embarrassing physical limitation.

They stared at each other for a long while, Ren holding the towel up to his nose, not knowing whether he ought to laugh or cry.

“Tell me this did not just happen.”

“—my god.” His entire body was wracked with it, barely taking breaths in between how hard he was laughing. “—’s messed up, but—” Exhale, shakily. Inhale again, a new wave of shaking making itself known. “Kind of hilarious too.”

Kaleb had been worried at first when Ren started shaking in his arms but when he realized that he was laughing and not something worse he relaxed. Then he thought about it himself and couldn’t help but grin. “You mean the fact that I got cockblocked by a nose bleed?”

Which when he put it like that, he couldn’t but join Ren in laughing. “Oh god. What if this happens again and we end up having to have a conversation about this with my mother?” The idea was both mortifying and hilarious at the same time.

Ren was still having trouble breathing. "We are NOT talking about this. Ever. Oh god," he wheezed, still prone to bouts of laughter. "This doesn't leave these four walls, you hear?"

He would never live it down otherwise. As it was, he was already having trouble looking Ophelia in the eyes after it had come out that he had designs on her dear son.

This close, Ren could reach out, fingers spread against the bare skin of Kaleb’s sternum—peaceful now, as compared to the choppy maelstrom of emotions earlier, the flood of desire and want. Ren himself had not been unaffected. Even now, he knew—all it took was a single spark. How had they been able to hide this for so long? To exist in the peaceful friendship that had been his only dependable constant for years? It felt like an age ago.

“I enjoyed myself tonight though.” Regardless, his tone said, with mirth still shining in his amber eyes. “I hope we have many more nights like this.” The dates, the open conversation, not having to hide his feelings or the way he wanted to share them and flaunt them for the world to see: Kaleb was his now, his and his alone.

Even as hotly as they had been burning earlier, just being able to hold Ren in his arms like this in the quiet of his room was enough for Kaleb. It still filled the deep need Kaleb had inside of him to just be with Ren, Turning his head, he smiled against Ren’s temple and nuzzled him there. “We will, Angel Face.”

Kaleb didn’t plan to let go now that he had what he always wanted. Even if it took them a while to figure things out and get the rest of the way there. There was no hurry. No rush. Which made Kaleb think of something as his fingers idly stroked up and down Ren’s arm.

“I’m glad that you waited.” Not just because there was some possessive instinct that liked the idea that he’d be his first—there was that—but because of what had just happened. Kaleb hated to think how badly that could have gone if Ren hadn’t been with someone who wouldn’t completely freak out. Or if they had actually tried this when they were younger instead of now.

That brought a hint of embarrassment to Ren. While others his age had been busy rolling in the sheets, exhausting bed partners aplenty, Ren had had his nose buried in books. There hadn’t been anyone else he was interested in—hadn’t been for a long time.

He burrowed closer, mumbling to Kaleb’s left clavicle instead of looking at his face. “I must seem really clumsy at this, to you.” To Kaleb who had gone through a sudden burst of virility shortly after puberty, leaving behind a long string of cheerfully tumbled partners, Ren wondered if his ministrations didn’t seem inadequate and laughable.

“I’ll admit the whole nosebleed thing is a first for me.” Kaleb couldn’t help but tease him about it even as it worried him. They were both going to have to be more careful in the future. It wasn’t as if Kaleb didn’t know how to mentally shield for the very reason of not overwhelming Ren when his emotions were high but all of that went out the window when he was with him it seemed.

Which inexperienced or not, Ren drove Kaleb mad in a way no one else ever had. “You know all those others never mattered right? In a way being with someone else was a lot like me drinking, a way to cover up what I really feel and to keep from having to deal.” Because it had been the only way he could deal with not being with Ren. The only way he had ever been able to distract himself when it got to be too much and no amount of spellwork on his mother’s part would have hidden it from Ren if he hadn’t gotten things out of his system.

Ren was no stranger to Kaleb’s coping mechanisms, had tried to stop them all too many times. But having seen all of those bed partners of Kaleb’s firsthand through the years, there was a small voice in his head that he couldn’t ignore. He traced idle patterns on Kaleb’s shoulder, his mind adrift and ill at ease.

“I can’t lie and say that it doesn’t make me feel strange,” Ren said finally, still avoiding Kaleb’s eyes. “The thought of someone else touching you—” he stroked a thumb over the skin of Kaleb’s left pec. “—And making you feel good makes me feel like I’ve lost, in a certain way.” He wondered if it was alright to even be saying this. What if Kaleb thought lightly of him for feeling this way? “It’s stupid, I know. You don’t have to pay any heed.”

“It’s not stupid at all, Angel Face.” Kaleb knew that he wouldn’t have been any happier if there had been others for Ren before him. He knew that he would have drunk himself stupid or finally been unable to stand it anymore and probably reacted long before he had now. “I’m sorry that I made you feel that way.” He had never flaunted his hookups but he knew they were unavoidable at times and often hard to hide.

Kaleb reached up and hooked a finger under Ren’s chin and tilted his head up so that he could brush a soft kiss over his lips. “You don’t have to think about it ever again though. Because I meant it. I’m all yours.

Ren’s answer was an upward curl of his lips against their shared kiss. “I think I can get used to that.”

April 7th, 2020

Something was different.

It was an unavoidable thing for Kaleb to not notice as he started to wake up, even as he pulled Ren in closer to him and tried to disappear farther under the blankets. He wasn’t sure what that something was yet in his still mostly asleep state of mind but whatever it was, there was something about it that just told him that he did not want to wake up and face the day. Like when you woke up with the start of a cold and you knew that if you got out of bed it was only going to get worse.

Only in this case there was no getting worse. The worst had already happened. It was something that Kaleb was starting to realize as he started to become more awake instead of falling back to sleep. He felt disconnected, nullified even, as if there was something missing. Some vital part of him.

The alarm went off, bringing him the rest of the way awake. Not wanting to move from where he had managed to burrow under the blankets and be snuggled up to Ren, he stuck his hand out, and gestured so magic would shut it off for him. The alarm kept blazing.

That caused Kaleb’s eyes to snap completely open. And for a deep seeded panic to start taking root in his chest as he realized what it was that made him feel the way he did. Or rather didn’t feel. Because now that he was fully awake he realized he didn’t feel his magic at all. It was gone. It was gone and Kaleb suddenly sat up as he started to hyperventilate at the thought.

The loss of a warm heat next to him was the first sign of distress. Ren was acclimated to the way Kaleb fit around him most nights now. And the lack of it now was as jarring as it was a slap of cold water in his face. He peeled open his eyes, finding Kaleb sitting up, his shoulders tense and heaving in an accelerated way.

That got Ren’s attention immediately.

He sat up, bare arms snaking around Kaleb for comfort, to touch— only to hit a wall. Reading Kaleb always came as easy to him as breathing. He never had to strain for it. But now he searched for the telepathic locus that was Kaleb’s mind and felt nothing except the faintest stirrings of anxiety through a thick layer of muffled, viscous mess.

That was alarming too. But Ren pushed aside his feelings in favour of attending to Kaleb. “Babe, it’s okay. You’re going to be fine. Deep breaths.” Fingers tracing the sides of Kaleb’s face to cup them finally, making Kaleb look at him. “Look at me, count with me: breathe, one two…”

Kaleb locked eyes with Ren and for a moment his mind protested that it was very much not okay. Even now he tried to reach out and touch the ley line that ran under the Firehouse that he often tapped so that he wouldn’t deplete his own energy when he was fooling around with stuff. He couldn’t touch it. He couldn’t even sense it right now.

It all just made his mind panic even more until he finally started listening to the sound of Ren’s voice and focusing on his touch. That he could feel and soon he was breathing in and out to the count, his body starting to relax even though a faint flutter still held in his chest.

His eyes still held Ren’s and he looked completely lost as he whispered, “I can’t feel it. I can’t use it. It’s like my magic is just gone.”

It wasn’t until he could feel the tension leaving Kaleb’s shoulders that Ren allowed himself to relax too. Kaleb was a lot of things; he could be passionate, reactive and wildly charming, but anxious and insecure was entirely different. Ren never saw Kaleb react like this unless it was something devastating. It made sense that it had to be about his magic. Ren knew that Kaleb was the sort who depended largely on it. Ren himself had his magic infused into everything he did: even now, not knowing the extent of Kaleb’s distress was like losing a limb.

He couldn’t stop himself leaning forward and pressing a soft, chaste kiss to Kaleb’s lips even if he wanted to. Kaleb looked lost and forlorn, and it was Ren’s instinct to soothe and calm.

But even the kiss felt muted. Where he would have been met with a vibrant maelstrom of emotions by now—looking at the expressiveness of Kaleb’s eyes—Ren felt nothing.

“Havisham has been messing up people’s magic recently. It must have disrupted our magic too.” He reached for Kaleb’s hand, interlacing it with his fingers. “Let’s ask around. Someone must know what’s happening. We can talk to the staff too. We’ll figure something out together.”

Ren’s hand was like a lifeline right now and Kaleb couldn’t help but squeeze it and hold on to it like his life depended on it. He remembered some of the others talking about a dead spot in the Grove. About the power swapping that had happened while he and Ren had been in Boston. But this, this was something else entirely and it was because it was affecting him. “Right. We should.”

Yet Kaleb made no move to get up and do so. There was a deep part of him that was afraid to step outside without his magic. Like if he stayed here in the room it would be safer than if he went out there. Into a world that he never feared because he had magic since he was a child.

It took his slowed, distracted mind longer than it normally would have to pick up on the full implication of what Ren was saying. Once he did though it made his own anxiety fade into the background some more as he focused on something that to him that was the one thing more important than himself and that was Ren.

Kaleb’s brow furrowed as he looked at Ren. “Our? Are you saying yours isn’t working either?”

Ren looked up at Kaleb, watching Kaleb come to the realisation finally. How strange that he had to learn now to read the lines in Kaleb’s face and recognise them of his own accord when these emotions used to come so easily to him just by virtue of their linked hands. Now, Ren had to fit each emotion slowly to the look in Kaleb’s eyes in a slow, laborious process.

He nodded once. Lifting their entwined hands lightly, he shook his head, “I can’t tell what you’re thinking through this.” He looked up at Kaleb again. “It’s a little clumsy, but I guess I have to observe through other cues like everyone does now.”

That was almost a relief. Not because Kaleb didn’t want Ren in his head, but because he knew what a maelstrom it was in there right now and he had been too panicked through it all to even think of putting up barriers to try and shield Ren from the worst of it. “Trust me, Angel Face, my head is not a place even I want to be right now.”

He didn’t like feeling this kind of panic. It wasn’t unusual for him to give into times of being overly dramatic about something but this was different. Very rarely did he freak out this badly over something.

“I guess we both have to muddle through the way everyone else does right now.”

Ren nodded, not particularly distressed over this.

Kaleb leaned his head against Ren’s, soaking in the comfort of his presence. Ren might not be able to tell what he was thinking or feeling but this hadn’t changed. Then it really started to sink in. “Wait. You can’t just read me.”

It was strange, not being able to tell what Kaleb was thinking. Ren was used to having the automatic output from Kaleb’s mind to rely on that the loss of it now was like losing a critical function that unsettled him at every turn. He looked at Kaleb now, the way it looked like he was trying to piece together two pieces of information, and couldn’t reach through to pull that thought from his mind.

Frustration was a mild way of putting it. “No, I can’t. I can’t read anything. You’re going to have to tell me what you’re thinking instead.”

“Oh. Oh my sweet, Ren,” Kaleb murmured as things were starting to click together in his mind. “We probably should see if anyone has figured out a way to fix this.” With everything that had been happening, it had to be affecting more than just them right? Maybe even campus wide. Which meant that someone had to be figuring out why it was like they were all stuck in a null zone.

With the new thoughts that were coming together in Kaleb’s mind though, if he hadn’t been so inclined to leave and go outside before, he was even less so now.

“What I’m thinking is that there’s really not much of a hurry though is there? It’s still early enough in the morning that I’m sure they’re still trying to fix this.”

Kaleb turned and pushed Ren back against the bed and twined his fingers through his other hand before holding them both up over his head, eyes gazing down at him heatedly enough that Ren didn't need his telepathy to know where Kaleb’s thoughts were headed. “We could use this to our advantage.”

This was why Ren needed his abilities, so he could see thoughts like this coming from a mile away. Before he ended up in this precise situation: his wrists caught in a bind above his head, Kaleb’s gaze hot on the pale expanse of skin revealed to him under the sheets that had fallen away in their tussling. Ren was keenly aware of the fact that he was wearing just a simple pair of boxers and nothing else; layers that didn’t seem like much now.

He was used to knowing these things. He was used to having the flame of Kaleb’s passion flood through from their telepathic link—to have that overwhelming want cloud everything and leave him breathless and needing. It almost felt simpler. Ren didn’t have to think or worry. He didn’t have to over analyse or examine things to closely to figure out what he was feeling. Now, without Kaleb filling his thoughts, Ren was left with a void that seemed a little lonely, quiet and just a little uncertain.

Understanding Kaleb now from the heat in his gaze nevertheless caused a corresponding pink in his cheeks. “We could, but I don’t understand why that means I can’t use my hands.” Tugging, testing Kaleb’s grip. It wasn’t too tight, Ren could probably put up a good fight about it if he wanted to break free, but he didn’t want to possibly hurt Kaleb in the process.

He shifted, sliding one bare thigh up to press between Kaleb’s legs, angling his hips lower for better access. “Wouldn’t releasing me be better? For our—ah, purposes.”

“Maybe I don’t want you being able to run away while you process the idea here,” Kaleb suggested as he watched Ren’s face, his eyes only shuttering closed for a moment as he pressed against him. If possible his gaze was even more heated when he locked eyes with Ren again.

Giving his hands a squeeze, Kaleb released them and slowly slid his own down Ren’s arms. “I’m not just thinking about how this is the perfect time to not have to worry about a repeat of the other night if I send you into sensory overload again.” His hands continued down to stroke over Ren’s chest as he continued to watch him. “It’s just you in there right now. It’s the perfect time to focus on what you want. Your wants. Your desires.” Not Kaleb’s own fueling and overwhelming Ren’s like they had been.

Kaleb dipped his head down to kiss him, lips and tongue encouraging him to do the same as he worked to kindle those desires in Ren while the only way that Ren could feel his own was this way. Through actions and the feel of their bodies against each other.

“Focus on your pleasure and figure out what it is you like. Then maybe once our magic is back you won’t feel so overwhelmed.”

It was quite different to kiss Kaleb and not be inundated by the extra sensory input. Instead, it was the pure, clean taste of Kaleb’s lips against his own, the hot depths of Kaleb’s mouth that nonetheless caused places low in Ren to tighten suddenly. It wasn’t as though Ren had any doubts before that he was fully complicit in their sexual exploits. But if there had been, they were fully expelled now.

“But I want to touch you too,” Ren whispered, voice husky as he stripped himself bare with the truth, with the effort of having to hold back.

His skin tingled in the places Kaleb touched. He couldn’t deny that something about being forbidden to do something made him want more. He pressed up against Kaleb, writhing, Kaleb’s bare skin against his own infusing a curious sort of warmth into his body that had nothing to do with the temperature and everything to do with his own desire.

There was always something about when Ren’s voice got low and husky that did Kaleb in. He couldn’t help but grind against that thigh Ren had slid there before Kaleb shifted, his knee nudging Ren’s own so that he could settle between his thighs, so that they could be better pressed together.

“This is about what you want,” Kaleb reminded him, breath brushing over his ear as he moved his neck. “If you want to touch me, I won’t stop you.”

His lips continued down over Ren’s shoulder and then to his chest while his hands reached down to stroke up and down his thighs. Everything he did, Kaleb would look up to watch Ren’s reaction. “And if you want me to touch you more, all you have to do is say so.”

Growing up, Ren had schooled himself not to want anything. It had gotten significantly better since they moved to Boston and his mom’s career began taking off. But wanting something before had frequently led to disappointment and the downcast and quiet look on his mom’s face when he voiced it. But now, the one thing he had ever wanted was telling him to say so: to give voice to his desires and wants.

Ren’s breath hitched at the sensation of Kaleb’s hands on his sensitive inner thigh. Was it really okay? To say what he wanted? He arched upwards at the touch of Kaleb’s lips trailing lower, his heartrate accelerating—rabbit-fast against his sternum, almost as if it would jump out of his chest at any time. He tested Kaleb’s grip again and this time found himself able to free himself, reaching up and spreading his palm against the small of Kaleb’s back and the side of his handsome face, his legs falling wider to better accommodate Kaleb in the space between them.

“I want you,” he said, still with a touch of hesitance. “I want to be connected with you.” Robbed of his telepathic crutch, Ren stared up and searched Kaleb’s face anxiously for the slightest signs of reluctance, or even dislike.

Kaleb’s hand stilled from where it had been about to travel a little higher as he raised his head and looked up with neither of the things Ren feared on his face but rather one of confusion. It was that bit of hesitation that he picked up that made him unsure of just what Ren meant.

“Angel Face, my current plan is to strip you the rest of the way naked, blow your mind in a completely different fashion, and then connect with you in the most primal and human way possible,” Kaleb pointed out, inducing a remarkable shade on Ren’s cheeks. “But if you’re telling me that you’d rather wait until your telepathy is back—” There was a part of Kaleb that was scared to do that. If he caused harm to Ren again because of it he didn’t think he’d have the nerve to try a third time. Right now seemed their best chance but he also understood where Ren was coming from if he felt he needed that usual connection he had to Kaleb thanks to his ability.

“You know that whatever it is you want and decide I’ll go with. Always.”

Ren thought of the link that they shared usually. It was a boon to always have that link, to constantly have that understanding of what Kaleb wanted. Right now, he looked at Kaleb and he realised that he had always been holding an unfair advantage in this—Kaleb didn’t have the ability to read Ren like he did, he had always had to rely simply on what Ren told him. It was little wonder that Kaleb would have reservations.

It didn’t seem as if Ren could have gotten any redder, but he proved himself wrong when he parsed the meaning behind Kaleb’s words. “No, I— I’d like that, yes. But it feels right, for our first time to be like this.” Stripped away of all extraneous sensory outputs, until there was nothing left except their own thoughts and their own perceptions of what they were sharing for the first time.

His hands ran down Kaleb’s back, dipping teasingly down the top of the waistband of Kaleb’s pants. “If we go ahead with your plan,” he asked shyly, though not without full approval, “Does that mean we’re skipping classes for the day?”

As Ren’s hand dipped down to tease, Kaleb’s continued along the path it had paused on and slid up the back of the leg of Ren’s boxers. His fingers teased and kneaded the flesh there as he gave Ren a wicked grin. “Not only does it mean that we’re skipping classes,” Kaleb started before he recaptured Ren’s mouth in a kiss.

He was still unsure how he had ever managed to go without kissing Ren every moment from the time he had realized that’s what he wanted to do. He planned on never stopping now. They had the rest of their lives to make for it and Kaleb planned on making good on every moment.

Once the need to breath took over, Kaleb nipped at Ren’s bottom lip before doing the same to his ear lobe as well. “But it also means that I don’t intend to leave this room for a very, very long time,” he promised in a low, husky whisper into Ren’s ear.

That voice by his ear did funny things to something low down in Ren’s spine, as did Kaleb’s hand on his sex. He moaned, a soft, utterly wrecked sound, even as he fumbled to drag Kaleb’s offending last piece of cloth down past Kaleb’s hips and strong thighs.

His lips met Kaleb’s again, hungrily. As much as Kaleb couldn’t get enough of this, it was the same for Ren too. “That—” A kiss. “Sounds—” A lick against the soft curve of Kaleb’s mouth. “—like a brilliant plan.” And a teasing bite on that tempting lower lip. His body dissolving against Kaleb’s, impatient to close any space between them.

Goal to free Kaleb accomplished, he found the stirrings of Kaleb’s desire caught between Ren’s thigh and his arm. Changing tact, Ren wrapped fingers around Kaleb, eyes dark with desire. “I want you to use this to make a mess of me.” Grip turning firm, determined. They’d fooled around plenty since that first talk after the hospital. Enough that Ren was comfortable and schooled enough in the ways that he could touch Kaleb and elicit waves of pleasure flooding through their link. He didn’t have the luxury of that feedback now, but it was there too in the smaller ways: in how Kaleb’s breath turned quick, in the slight widening of his dark pupils, the way his lips parted just a fraction more. All things that Ren was wont to miss before, caught up by the weight of Kaleb’s want to pay attention to the smaller things like these.

If Ren worried at all anymore about his inexperience or not being able to please Kaleb he really didn’t need to. Just Ren touching him was enough to send pleasure and send desire shooting through Kaleb’s body. The fact that Ren was catching on so quickly to what he liked or didn’t like the few times they had fooled around? It was enough to drive Kaleb crazy.

As did his words and it made Kaleb groan and remember that he had to pace himself. As much as he wanted to do exactly what Ren said, he had to remind himself that this was not only Ren’s first time, but their first time together and he wasn’t about to rush into it. “Soon,” Kaleb breathed out, whether in reply to Ren’s desire or as a reminder to himself was unclear.

Sliding his hand out of Ren’s boxers, he quickly disposed of them off of his body so that he was gloriously naked in front of him. Kaleb knew he’d never get enough of looking at Ren and especially so when he was so very naked and laid out before him as he was. “You’re so beautiful, Angel Face,” he murmured before he leaned forward to worship Ren’s body with his lips. He started at the top and then slowly worked his way down.

Ren knew he was being impatient. But Kaleb’s kisses drove him wild. Those hands on him elicited a need that Ren hadn’t known existed before. It was as though a switch within him had been turned on. Ren couldn’t stop the onslaught of desire. He threw his head back, arching his chest upwards, craving the soft, wet heat of Kaleb’s lips. All the places Kaleb touched left him feeling like a melted, viscous mess and shot waves of pleasure up his spine.

He hugged Kaleb’s head close, fingers curling in his hair unwittingly. “Please…” He closed his eyes, his breath coming in slightly laboured gasps. Not certain what he was asking for, but desperate nonetheless. “Kaleb… please…”

Kaleb’s lips couldn’t help but curl against where they pressed up against Ren’s skin. “I believe,” he started as he continued moving down, “that I told you I was doing things in a specific order.” He stopped long enough to graze his teeth over Ren’s body and to gaze up the length of it.

“I’ve gotten you the rest of the way naked. Which means now—” Kaleb paused in speaking so that he could move down even lower so that his next words caused his hot breath to wash over the most sensitive of Ren’s skin. “—I’m going to blow your mind in a much better way than I did the last time.” It was the only warning Kaleb gave him before he showed Ren just what he meant as he took him into his mouth.

Ren’s fingers curled around the sheets, forming a tight fist. A moan tore from his throat, a sound from deep within. He sounded and felt wrecked, with the tight warm heat of Kaleb’s mouth around him, and his entire spine liquid from the pleasure. He felt raw, every inch of him brittle, like he could shatter at any moment. Kaleb was the entire source of that pleasure and Ren could focus on nothing else except him.

“Don’t—” Ren pleaded, as Kaleb continued to spare no effort in his ministrations. Ren was poised on the precipice, about to fall over at any moment, his usually pale skin sprayed with a fine rosy tinge all over, straining with the effort of holding back. “I’m gonna—” What a waste that would be, if he couldn’t control himself and came this early.

For a moment Kaleb considered pushing him over that edge but in the end decided to back off. To save that moment for later. To wait until he was buried deep with Ren wrapped all around him before hearing those final sounds of ecstasy pass his lips. Watching and hearing Ren come when they had fooled around before had been one thing. This time it would be even better and it wasn’t something Kaleb wanted to miss.

Kaleb backed off and kissed his way back up Ren’s flushed body. One that felt like it fit perfectly against his own. Once he had reached Ren’s mouth once more he couldn’t help but ravish it even as he meant to give him a chance to not be so posed on that edge. He’d be back there soon enough.

“Mind blown or do I need to try again,” he couldn’t help but tease, a smile forming against Ren’s own lips as he did.

Ren felt boneless, breathless as if he’d run for miles. Kaleb teasing caused a slight indignation and an embarrassed and simultaneously frustrated flush of his cheeks. Had he been the only one affected? Was Kaleb not touched by this? A slow frisson of doubt entered his mind. He’d always known that Kaleb was more experienced. All of this that felt so new and overwhelming for Ren must feel like child’s play for Kaleb.

“No, don’t,” Ren said, still feeling wildly out of his depth. “Don’t try again.”

“Maybe not now but perhaps later.” The words weren’t so teasing this time but more of a promise as Kaleb teased him again. He had meant it when he said he didn’t plan on them coming out of the room any time soon. He had waited far, far too long to do the multitude of things that he wanted to do to Ren,

Even as he kissed him, Kaleb couldn’t keep his hands still. He reached down and was stroking the inside of Ren’s thighs again, gently spreading them apart farther before his hand moved up. His fingers stroked over the globes of firm flesh before slipping between and teasing him there with Kaleb pulling back so he could watch Ren’s face and his reaction as he did. “You don’t even have any idea right now how badly I want to fuck you.”

That was what Kaleb said, but without the telepathic link, Ren had no way of knowing if it was true, not with how composed the other seemed, at least on the surface. Not for the first time that day, he realised how much he had been relying on his abilities usually to get the upper hand in this budding relationship. He slid one hand up the firm planes of Kaleb’s abdominals, marvelling at the fact that he got to touch all this now, without restriction. It didn’t bring the usual flood of emotion, the usual confirmation, but it wasn’t all that bad to focus on the way Kaleb felt either, all hard muscle and coiled energy.

He slid the other hand around the back of Kaleb’s neck, bracing against the bed with his legs, bringing Kaleb closer to ask, helplessly, “You really mean that?”

“Of course I do, Angel Face,” Kaleb assured him. “I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything or anyone.” It was only fear of hurting Ren that allowed Kaleb the ability to hold on to any kind of control and not a lack of desire. Never that. He wasn’t sure how he had ever managed before to hide it, let alone hold back before other than a fear of ruining everything and magic. “I just want to do right by you in this is all.”

His eyes locked and held Ren’s as one of those teasing fingers slowly pushed inside and Kaleb held it there. He waited a moment before he started to slide it in and out, his eyes staying on Ren. “Make sure everything feels good for you.”

All coherent thought left Ren in a rush as he felt Kaleb slide fingers in to gently open him up. He knew and understood that Kaleb was trying to be careful, but in some ways that was almost worse. He wasn’t some damsel in distress that needed to be handled with kiddy gloves. He wasn’t some breakable like Kaleb seemed to think he was. He was just Ren, the same boy that had grown up beside Kaleb, the one who had come to love him in a way transcending all other relationships he had.

He couldn’t help the soft moan that fell from his lips, his skin burning wherever Kaleb’s eyes landed. “Don’t— don’t tease,” Ren practically begged, fighting the urge to hide his face with his hands, his hips canting upwards of their own accord. Because how could anything Kaleb did not feel good? Did Kaleb not realise how easily he could incite the flames in Ren?

Kaleb couldn’t help but reclaim and possess Ren’s mouth, He never thought he’d get to hear moans such as that come from him. Get to see and feel his body writhe with pleasure that he caused. Ren doing so now was more than Kaleb could take. There was no holding back, not anymore when the need to possess more than just those lips was overwhelming.

“No more teasing,” Kaleb promised as he moved to position himself and replaced his fingers as he slowly sunk into the welcoming heat of Ren’s body. It dragged a groan of pleasure from deep within his chest and for a moment all he could do was press his forehead against Ren’s as he held himself still and fought for control to not thrust hard and deep. Not yet. “You good?”

The pressure gave way to a mind-numbing sort of burn, one that caused Ren to clench up and groan softly before catching his lower lip between his teeth to stop embarrassing himself. His breath speeding up, his heart thundering in his chest. It took awhile for him to realise that Kaleb had stopped, in the midst of all this, and embarrassed, he could only nod wordlessly.

“I’m good. I’m—” It wasn’t something he was used to. But it wasn’t wholly unpleasant either. Instead he found himself looking up at the intense look in Kaleb’s eyes and wanting more. “I’m good,” he repeated, flushing harder still.

For a moment Kaleb still didn’t move. He was too busy searching Ren’s eyes and face to make sure he was really okay. Once he was convinced that he was, he brushed his lips over Ren’s.“Angel Face, you feel like heaven,” he murmured against them before he started to move. Slowly at first to allow Ren more time to adjust to the feeling of it all, angling his thrusts to brush up inside of him just right, and then more forcefully.

While he may have been treating Ren with what seemed like kid gloves before, now it was all but impossible to hold back any more as Kaleb got lost in the feel of Ren’s body. His mouth heatedly stole kisses from him even as his hand moved over his body, caressing and encouraging it. Finally he reached down between them to wrap a hand around Ren and attempt to stroke him in time with the movement of his own hips.

Ren slid his legs around Kaleb’s waist. The rhythm that was slowly building made a litany of helpless moans fall from his lips. Kaleb’s hips rocked fiercely and rhythmically into Ren, so much so that it was impossible to think, impossible to focus on anything except the way Kaleb filled him—deeply, overwhelmingly. In this position, bent almost in half and his hamstrings burning from strain as Kaleb sped up, Ren found that there was nowhere to run and no way to hide. There was just the simple, mind-numbing pleasure of the act here and the feel of Kaleb thrusting inside him.

He nearly wept at the hand forming a tight pressure around him, drunk on pleasure. “Kaleb—” Breathe. He had to remember to breathe. “God, Kaleb.” Ren’s own arms went around, firmly nestling Kaleb’s neck. Words seemed so inadequate to express the depth of what he was feeling at that moment.

Kaleb may have been the experienced one out of the two of them but even he wasn’t prepared for what it would feel like to be with Ren in this way. To have not just the physical connection but the emotional one as well. For the way he felt drunk on not only his own pleasure but the pleasured sounds from Ren that drove him on. It was an easy thing to get lost in the pleasure, maybe made even more so for being in Ren’s arms and hearing his name on his lips. The reality of it was better than anything that Kaleb could have ever imagined and for an illusionist he had a very good imagination

He could feel his own pleasure cresting and he looked down at Ren with eyes that were made darker by desire blown pupils. For a moment it was all he could do but watch the pleasure on Ren’s flushed face before urging him. “Ren. Come for me, Ren.”

It was all the encouragement he needed. Ren’s own climax crashed into him like a tidal wave. He was powerless in the face of it, trembling in Kaleb’s arms, tightening helplessly around Kaleb. The aftermath of it all leaving Ren a boneless mess.

In the face of all that, Kaleb couldn’t have held back any longer if he had wanted to. All it took was a couple more thrusts and then he was pushed over his own precipice, the only thing keeping him grounded as his own climax hit was the feel of Ren and even then Kaleb trembled in his arms. His forehead fell onto Ren’s shoulder as he tried to not just collapse on top of him.

Ren felt the flood of warmth inside him, and that too did strange things to him. A deep-sated sense of content, of fulfilment. All of the things that he had wanted with Kaleb—now felt complete. Kaleb’s weight on top of him was a welcome reminder of the closeness they shared now, in the lack of that telepathic link. Parts of him ached that he hadn’t known was possible. But there was a growing, if tired, smile playing on his lips. His arms wrapped protectively around Kaleb, holding him in place.

“I love you,” he whispered in reminder.

Kaleb hadn’t realized that Ren’s first time would come with first times for himself. Though he rather felt like he should have given that it had been their first time together. He turned his head but kept it on Ren’s shoulder and kissed the side of his neck and Kaleb had his biggest first of all, having never said the words at all before at a time like this, Words that were reserved only for Ren.

“I love you too,” he whispered back.

April 23rd, 2020

It wasn’t unusual for Kaleb to be standing outside and waiting for Ren after class. They had separate classes early in the day but the same ones in the afternoon and so Kaleb would always show up so they could get something to eat before heading to class together later. What was unusual was for him to be standing there and looking so tense.

As Ren came into view Kaleb’s worried eyes looked him over to make sure he was okay. There was no reason for him not to be since he was safely in class this whole time but at the same time there were a lot of scenarios that Kaleb could come up with that could happen in the classroom. Each one of them he had played over and over in his head as he had stood here waiting.

The moment Ren was near, Kaleb reached out and pulled him in close and kissed him as if it was somehow the last reassurance he needed to know that Ren was okay and the warning wasn’t about him. He knew that Ren would be able to read the worry and anxiety he had been feeling along with that fierce protectiveness that Kaleb had always had when it came to Ren.

Ren wasn’t the sort that was plugged into the network at all times, so when he saw Kaleb waiting, a nice surprise turned quickly into worry when he noticed the mood the other was in. He didn’t ordinarily indulge in public displays of affection, but the moment that he sensed the anxiety from Kaleb—tense, as if he was held together by a single thread—Ren quietened and wrapped his arms around Kaleb.

He whispered quietly after a moment, “Did something happen? Are you alright?”

“I’m fine but the Flamita of people had her danger detection go off and now everyone is worried.” Kaleb didn’t want to say losing their minds, but some people were having a much stronger reaction to the news than others. For Kaleb it was just natural for him to worry about Ren, especially considering they had no idea when or how whatever had set Aoife off was going to go down.

Mentioning Flamita reminded Kaleb that he needed to check the camera feed to make sure she was still going since the last time he had but it could wait for now. Having Ren safe in his arms was much more important. “It wasn’t a death omen which is something but given all the weird shit that goes on around here I can’t say I’m surprised people are worried. Remember when I scheduled my classes so that I don’t have class on Monday because I said nothing ever good happens on a Monday? I’ve changed my mind. Clearly nothing good ever happens on a Thursday now.”

So that was what it was. Ren understood in a heartbeat. “I’m fine,” he reassured Kaleb again, understanding full well the need to have the other in his arms to reassure himself before believing anything that was said—he felt the same way about Kaleb after all. “Just bummed about finals being so close. But other than that, I’m all good. Not a hair out of place.” He grinned at Kaleb.

He slid his fingers between Kaleb’s, interlacing them as he took the other’s hand and they walked side by side down the corridor heading back to the Firehouse. “Did she get anything else other than just a feeling? Any details? Any persons or place involved?”

Having Ren at his side was just the thing that Kaleb needed right now and he gave Ren’s hand a squeeze. It was hard to not feel better with Ren grinning at him like that. “Aoife was pretty upset and stressed about it and a lot of it had to do with the fact that specifics didn’t really come with it. I guess that Sebastian also had another vision earlier this week that no one is sure that it’s about.” Kaleb couldn’t begin to imagine what it had to be like to have an ability or magic that worked in ways that left you without a clear picture of what they were trying to tell you.

“I think Havisham needs to start a class on Ill omens, Visions, and How to Decipher them. Speaking of—” Kaleb pulled his phone out of his pocket so that he could pull up the feed for the cam that was on Flamita. “At least that little light of ours is still going.”

Ren nodded, staring at the screen, feeling oddly relieved. “Small favours.” Flamita had a nearly sacred sort of presence amongst members of the Order. Even more so now that they understood better what its continued flame meant.

They fell into step easily beside each other, Ren shifting his bookbag to the side opposite Kaleb, though his brows were furrowed in thought. “What do you think it could be about?” Powers of prediction were never clear cut. Kaleb wasn’t alone in not understanding the struggles of those who lived with them. Ren felt the same.

That was the question. With everything that had been going on lately, the possibilities were endless. Though the magic of the interdimensional pocket that the school sat in was supposed to be fixed. “While I’d like to think that it just means someone is going to twist an ankle, I also don’t think banshee’s get bad feelings over something that simple. It’s got a lot of people staying in and skipping class. I offered up for Order members to hole up in the Firehouse if they want and Shay is setting up a buddy system as part of the student government’s efforts to respond to all this so no one is wandering around on their own.”

Going anywhere alone had also been a worry after Lucy’s death and Kaleb’s frown creased as he thought on that. He looked over at Ren as they walked. “Flamita didn’t go out this time, but whatever is about to happen managed to set a banshee and a seer off. Do you think it’s possible it’s related to what happened to Lucy?” Kaleb had already been entertaining ideas of what had happened to Lucy not having been personal but a case of being in the wrong place, at the wrong time.

Ren didn’t like the idea. But he had to agree that it was what was most likely in the situation. They never found the answers to what happened to Lucy. Even after this long. And even after authorities had gotten involved and with so much of the magical community invested in this. Something was wrong.

“Is it possible? Definitely. But I’m hoping it isn’t.” Ren couldn’t help frowning. If there was imminent danger in the school and if such a huge threat was posed to the students, it was unfathomable that more wasn’t being done to ensure security was improved. What if the school decided to halt classes altogether? Then again, all they had to go on was warnings and ill omens. It was hardly solid ground to investigate things with.

His grip tightened on Kaleb unwittingly. “You’re going to stay in my sight at all times,” he said, as if the decision was already made.

Kaleb smiled as he looked at Ren. Just as fiercely protective as Kaleb was over Ren, the same could be said about Ren when it came to Kaleb. “Trust me, I don’t plan on taking a step out of it.” Because as long as he was within Ren’s sight, it meant that Ren was within his.

Which Ren was absolutely okay with, judging by the smile on his face at that response.

“I have to check in at the Firehouse to make sure everything is okay there.” Which included making sure Ghost was okay as well. “We can other join in on the skipping of class or go ahead and go. Since it’s one we both have I don’t see a problem in going.” And as Ren had mentioned earlier there were those pesky finals coming up. At the rate things were going at Havisham, if they continued cutting classes or having them canceled, finals were going to end up being a struggle even for Kaleb.

Ren nodded. “Let’s go,” he decided. It wasn’t that Ren couldn’t afford to skip out on a few classes, but if he did, it felt like he was giving in to the panic too. And what would become of Havisham then? “We can go check in on the others at the Firehouse and come back before the next class. There’s still some time.”

It was best to continue on as normal as possible. What if them changing what they were doing was what ended up causing the conditions needed for whatever was about to happen. What if by being in their dorm rooms and society houses something happened to one of the buildings and the person who was going to get hurt would have been fine if they had been in class.

This was why Kaleb was glad his magic didn’t lean towards divination. There were too many what ifs and possibilities and wondering if you did one thing would it set things in motion or was it always supposed to happen that way? He’d stick with his illusions.

Kaleb leaned over and placed a quick kiss to Ren’s temple. “That’s what we’ll do then.”

April 25th, 2020

A whole day of searching and they had turned up nothing. It frustrated Kaleb to no end. He had tried every locator spell that he knew and it had led them nowhere. Not a single blip on the magic rader of where Nate might be. It was worrisome because Kaleb had even tried one spell that should have revealed him whether he was alive or not.

In the end Kaleb had tapped himself out energy wise and Ren had to usher him back to the Firehouse before he exhausted himself to the point of collapsing. Instead he managed to wait until the covers were pulled back on the bed before he fell into it. He used one last small use of magic to open Ghost’s cage so he could get out before Kaleb reached out and tugged Ren down into the bed with him.

“The whole of Havisham and we can’t locate one boy who can turn into a tiny bug. Just the abilities within the Order alone we should have been able to locate him.” It was like something was blocking them.

Ren's brows were knitted from the moment he knew where Kaleb was going and it had not smoothened out at all since. He was worried about Nate too. Everyone was. It was getting to be unthinkable—what could have possibly happened to the boy that he could be missing this long without any kind of clue as to his whereabouts at all. But all the same, Ren couldn't help worrying about Kaleb.

He knew full well that Kaleb was the sort to exhaust himself trying to do the impossible just because he could, irrespective of whether or not the end result was success and irrespective of whether or not others even acknowledged the effort he put in—simply because it was the right thing to do. It was upsetting precisely because while Kaleb was caught up in trying to help, others were instead focused on picking on what he said instead of what he did.

But Ren, knowing that the topic was only unpleasant for the both of them to talk about, kept his thoughts to himself and worried instead about helping Kaleb into the bed.

"The staff should have been able to as well. There are so many competent people in this school but it's just not happening." Ren fell silent at this. It all didn't bode very well for Nate.

He reluctantly got into the bed after Kaleb, still wearing his frown. "You should eat something. You need to regain your strength." And also because Ren couldn't stand simply watching Kaleb like this and needed to do something. And it wasn't as if Kaleb would listen even if Ren told him to stop pushing himself so hard.

“I’ll be fine,” Kaleb agrued. Besides, eating sounded like it would take a lot of energy that he didn’t have and also it would mean that Ren would have to get back up out of bed and all Kaleb really wanted to do right now was lay there with him. He even scooted down enough so that he could lay his head on Ren’s chest and wrap his arm around his waist, making it clear that he did not want Ren getting up and moving. “Stay. Please.”

Kaleb’s eyes moved to watch Ghost climb his way up onto the bed and then pounce across before slinking under the covers and disappearing. He watched for the moment when Ghost would bite his toes but it never came. It was if the ferret could sense the mood in the room and also Kaleb’s lack of energy at the moment. Given that he was a familiar, Kaleb supposed that he did actually know..

Having looked at Ghost gave Kaleb an idea of why the last location spell might not have worked. Or any of them really. If Nate had been stuck out there as a bug—well there were a lot of things out there that lived on eating bugs. Even Ghost would eat them if he could find them. If Nate had been eaten by something and digested there’d be nothing for the spells to find.

It was a dark thought that he kept to himself though he knew Ren would know it just the same. “Maybe we should have been holding a séance instead of a search party,” was the only comment he did make on it.

It was a dark but valid point, but it caused a reflexive tightening of the vicinity behind Ren's sternum at the thought of it regardless. He closed his eyes and sighed. "Babe, you know I love you, but never say something like this where anyone else can hear you. They would eat you alive." And it was apparent by his tone who 'they' referred to without Ren having to elaborate.

Ren slid arms around Kaleb under the covers, wondering when their school life became this messed up. In more ways than one.

"We should never lose hope. I know what we're all worried about, but I don't want to stop praying and wishing and hoping all the same." It sounded like a bad pep talk, but what else did they have at this point? There was nothing very much at all to go on and the hours were simply ticking by.

Kaleb sighed and turned his head so he could borrow his face against Ren’s chest for the moment. He knew Ren was right about how others would react and would never dare voice such a sentiment out loud considering the offensive some took to things that made it past this verbal filter as it was. His dark humor wouldn’t be appreciated at the best of times, let alone now. And certain people...well, he really didn’t want to think about certain people right now.

It did amaze him that Ren who was more often than not in his mind and knew him in the most intimate and vulnerable way possible—knew all the fleeting half formed thoughts and the fully formed ones that never left his lips—could love him like he did. Ren who wanted to hang on to hope while Kaleb had already figured that the worst had happened and couldn’t bring himself to think there was any chance of finding Nate now.

“I don’t know what I would do if it was you,” Kaleb said, his words coming out muffled from his face being buried but he finally turned it. His hold on Ren tightened for a moment.

Ren stilled for a moment, that painful squeezing in his chest returning. He knew what Kaleb meant, because how could he not—he felt the same way. But knowing didn’t make it any easier to accept. He lifted Kaleb’s chin carefully, hands framing that handsome face, forcing Kaleb to look straight at him. “I can’t promise that it will never happen,” Ren said, in all seriousness. To do so would be lying to Kaleb, and Ren would never do that. “But I can promise you that I would do everything in my power to make sure it never comes to that.”

He pressed a kiss to Kaleb’s lips. Kaleb felt tense, brittle. Given what he had expended all his energy doing the whole day, Ren wasn’t surprised. He wished sometimes that he could have the power to change thoughts instead of simply reading them, or to take the ones that bothered the people he cared about away. It was devastating to read the fragility and be powerless to do anything about it.

“All I ever wanted—all I ever will—is for you to be happy,” Ren whispered against Kaleb, arms tight around the other’s waist. “So you have to promise me that you’ll do your darned best to be just that—regardless of what others try to do.” It stood for everything. Their circumstance, the people that seemed to like picking on Kaleb for whatever reason, and all the other messed up things in this world.

Kaleb’s face and eyes went completely soft at Ren’s words and he found himself overwhelmed with just how much he loved him. Sometimes, like now, it seemed too much and it seemed a wonder that even the handy work of his mother had managed to hide it away from Ren being able to pick up on it before. It made his chest tight and he couldn’t help but return that kiss.

“I’ll always be happy because I have you,” he pointed out, his own arms tightening around Ren once more. It was hard to promise that he’d always try to be just that because if anything did happen he didn’t think he could. Though Kaleb knew that he’d move Heaven and Earth if he had to in order to keep Ren safe. He had to because right here lay his very heart and he’d be unable to go on without it. Ren was—and always had been—his key to happiness.

Now it felt like to keep that happiness they had to survive Havisham in a whole other way than just graduating it.

“Besides, you’re not the only one who will do everything in their power to make sure it doesn’t come to that. Such as my magical prowess is at the moment.” All that energy spent and it seemed like it had been for nothing. Even now Kaleb couldn’t help but go through spells in his mind and wonder if there was something he could have done differently.

Ren sighed and traced circles on Kaleb’s arm as he thought about what they had to face now. The school was no longer safe. People were scared. Some people reacted to that by being unreasonable and needlessly judgemental, others by retreating further into themselves. Kaleb chose to pour himself into something that might not even yield any results.

“If someone is deliberately blocking magic that would help locate Nate, it doesn’t matter how capable and competent you are, they’d prevent you from finding him,” Ren pointed out. And needless to say, if what they were thinking was right and there was indeed someone who was involved in Lucy’s murder that was behind this incident as well, it was something that wasn’t too far of the mark to assume that they would do anything required to make sure no one was able to find Nate.

“What matters is that you tried. You almost killed yourself trying. Just because some people choose not to see that doesn’t change that fact.”

Short of sending himself into magical burn out, it was true there was nothing else that Kaleb could do. That he had tried all he could. There was some part of him that had felt like that as an officer of the society that Nate belonged to it was his responsibility to find him—or at least do everything in his power to try. Whether anyone gave him credit for that didn’t matter. He didn’t do it for that. And he was done trying to defend himself when people choose to see otherwise in the things he said or did.

“None of this makes sense. If Flamita went out before Lucy died, why didn’t it go out for Nate? At this point I don’t think it did go out for Lucy. I think something else happened and that’s what Flamita responded to. And whatever it was I think it’s what got Lucy killed and now—” He stopped from saying it but it didn’t stop him from thinking what had gotten Nate killed as well because it was hard to believe Nate was alive if that’s what had happened. If someone killed Lucy because of something she wasn’t supposed to know, then if Nate had done the same then odds are they’d want to remove him as well.

“It doesn’t make sense the way everyone has been thinking about it. That someone murder Lucy just to murder her. But it does make sense if there’s something else going on and there’s been enough weirdness going on that had seemed so random but maybe it’s not so random at all.”

How it all fit together Kaleb had no idea. How did you connect a bunch of seemingly random events when you didn’t have all the pieces? Instead what they had was a puzzle missing too many pieces and the ones they did have, none of the edges matched up.

“But it hasn’t gone out,” Ren pointed out reasonably, forestalling that line of thought. It was a grim one, even if Ren completely understood where Kaleb was coming from. “We’ve been keeping watch on it all this time, we’d know the minute something happened.” Ren hated the idea of Kaleb blaming himself just because of Flamita. They could no more control the flame as much as anyone else could. Worse still, he hated the idea of others blaming it on Kaleb if it came to that, as some had proven that they were wont to do.

Ren didn’t want to be the one to say it, but they had the authorities on campus for the longest time trying to solve this and nothing had even come up. They were all simply students of the school. What could they hope to achieve where even the authorities had failed? “If indeed that’s the case then…” The deaths would be so pointless. Something of an accident rather than premeditated. Almost an afterthought. Ren frowned. “I don’t know what’s better, at this point. And I don’t understand how there could be so little clues as to what happened.” If things kept up this way, it wasn’t the most inconceivable thing that the school would close down altogether.

“Unless—” Kaleb hated what he was thinking because it brought into questions that he didn’t want to think much less entertain but it was a wheel that was turning in his mind just the same. Turning his head he propped his chin up on Ren’s chest so he could peer at him. “What if that twitter account is on to something. What if no one is finding anything because the alumni are covering it up?”

According to them, the school president had been hosting an alumni party the night Lucy died. It also claimed that alumni from both societies had been meeting on the Fog and Dagger’s secret island. Kaleb wouldn’t have thought much of it if it wasn’t for the fact that the Order alumni knew that Flamita had gone out and then never explained themselves as to why they never told them and let them go on as they had. What if there was some grand conspiracy? Not get a conspiracy to cover up a murder but something worse?

The question that bothered Kaleb the most was if that was it, then who all of the alumni was in on. Luna Lamont for sure. But what of their parents? Most within the Order where legacies. Kaleb himself was one. It was hard to picture his own father in on such a thing but if there was some grand cover up then alumni with influence had to be in on it.

“What if this is what our real legacy is? That the secret part of the society doesn’t start until after we graduate?”

The very thought sent a chill down Ren’s spine. He thought Kaleb’s father, and then invariably—his own. He didn’t think that Kaleb’s father would be in on something like this. But of his own? He didn’t know his father well enough to say either way.

He’d grown quiet and stiff in Kaleb’s arms, but forced himself to focus on answering Kaleb. “I don’t like to even think about that as a possibility,” Ren said finally, sighing. It was too awful to even contemplate. And if that was the case, then stepping foot in this school had been the wrong decision from the start. It was difficult to imagine that Langston senior would be okay with sending Kaleb here too. For all that the man did and said and was tough on his expectations for Kaleb, Ren knew there wasn’t a lot Kaleb’s father wouldn’t do for him.

Kaleb watched Ren’s reaction and there was something in it that reassured him. It was part of the reason that Kaleb knew he was no good without him. Whenever his mind wandered to the dark corners, Ren was always the light that chased those thoughts away and let him know that they weren’t worth thinking.

“You’re right. It’s not outside the realm of possibility that it was alumni, especially if it is being covered up, but there’s no way it could be all of the alumni.”

With a sigh, Kaleb laid his head back against Ren and then pressed in closer to him. “It’s not like there’s anything we can do about it anyway. We have finals coming up in a couple weeks. We should be worrying about surviving them and not some grand conspiracy.”

Truer words never said. Ren sighed again. It was horrible to think that they still had finals to contend with amidst all of this. Things were truly going pear-shaped and there was nothing any of them could even begin to do about it.

He ran his fingers through Kaleb’s hair, trying to provide what comfort he could in the face of an overwhelming stream of depressing thoughts. “That’s definitely true. In fact, that’s all anyone of us can hope to do—carry on living each day to the fullest, irregardless of what the future might bring.”

He was just glad to have Kaleb by his side through all of this.

Kaleb allowed his eyes to close and relaxed against Ren, the fingers in his hair having the desired effect and then some. It was hard to keep them open when the feel of it was lulling him to sleep especially after the day he had. Focusing on the feeling helped to quiet his mind of everything that had happened the past couple days and all the what ifs that were swirling around in it.

“The only thing I need to know about the future is that you’re mine,” Kaleb pointed out, even as he was already slipping into sleep.

April 27th, 2020

Kaleb didn't know what to do with things like death and grief. At twenty-two, they were things he had never had to deal with. One set of grandparents had passed before he was born and the other while he was still too young to realize what was going on or what it all meant. Now he was surrounded by it and it made him uncomfortable.

It wasn't noticeable at first because he was able to keep himself busy helping out. He knew he wasn't good for being a shoulder to cry on but there were other things he could throw himself into much as he had thrown himself into trying to help find the other day until he could barely cast anymore. Today it had been digging through the Flamita footage and then doing a supply run so they had the Firehouse fully stock and food for anyone that wanted it.

Then things slowed down and Kaleb was at a loss. He had retreated into his room for a moment of peace while Ren was downstairs helping with some of the cooking. Kaleb sat on the floor of his room with his back against his head. He looked a mess having not shaved since this had all started and he hadn't worried about his hair at all today. Between that and the fact that he was wearing jeans and a simple t-shirt and had decided to just wear his glasses today, overall he looked very unKaleb like to anyone who wasn't used to see him so.

A part of him was tempted to just crawl into his bed but at the same time, he felt like there was more he could be doing. Something else that he could do that would help those around him in their time of grief even had he felt like he could not join them in it.

As much as he would like, magic couldn't fix this. Magic couldn't bring Nate back. Not any magics that weren't so dark they shouldn't be messed with and what would come back wouldn't really be Nate anyway. But maybe magic could help soothe and bring at least a small amount of comfort to those left behind. Getting an idea, Kaleb got up and headed outside to the backyard where he planted himself in the middle of the yard, tapped into the ley line that ran through it, and started to craft his illusion and the spell that he was adding to it. After all, illusion magic wasn't just about deceiving appearances but influencing the mind into what it perceived as well. And so Kaleb sat in the middle of the yard, crafting his spell, and losing track of time as he did. When he finished, he opened his hands and a mass of blue butterflies took off into the air.

April 29th, 2020

Sleep was starting to become easier, especially now that he was away from the tension and grief that filled the House. Kaleb had done all he could to help. Some would say that it was more than enough and some might say it wasn't enough at all. But he knew that he had done all he could do and had pushed himself to his limits to do it. When it came to comforting people directly though, well he only knew how to do that with two people in his life and they were both currently in the same house as him.

When Kaleb's mother had suggested coming home while classes were canceled, he had finally taken her up on the second day when he realized he had to get away from the campus for a bit. So he and Ren had gone home. The difference in Kaleb had been noticeable from the moment they stepped off of campus. It was even more noticeable once they hit the Langston home and Ophelia was there to embrace them both.

Now the clock read 3:30 am in the morning and Kaleb couldn't fall back to sleep. So instead he had slid out of bed and had headed to the kitchen where he now sat nursing a drink. He heard the footsteps on the tile floor before he felt familiar fingers slid through his hair. Kaleb couldn't help but close his eyes and lean into his mother's touch. "I know why I'm awake but why are you?”

"Because I could sense you were awake and brooding," Ophelia replied before kissing the top of Kaleb's head where he sat and moving to the fridge to get something for herself. "At least that's the first alcohol I've seen you consume since you've been here."

Kaleb gave a shrug before taking another sip. “I figured it would help me go back to sleep.” They both knew what was being unsaid. That normally in a situation like this he’d be drinking a lot more and yet he wasn’t. A lot of the reason for that was still currently asleep in his bed.

Ophelia closed the fridge door and went back to Kaleb, threading her fingers back in his hair as she reached out with her magic to soothe his troubled mind. “You did everything you could. This is not your responsibility nor your burden to bear. It’s horrible that it happened but you need to let it go now and focus on the future and not what you think you could have done differently.” She pulled her son’s head closer and placed a kiss in his temple.

“I wish I could think you just picked all that up on your own but you’ve been talking to Ren haven’t you,” Kaleb mused.

“Of course. He’s worried about you. He knows as well as I do that you’ll run yourself into the ground if you feel like you have to make this right.”

Kaleb allowed himself to lean into the comfort of his mother’s arms as she slid them around his shoulders. It wasn’t lost on him that the two people who knew him the best, and who he loved the best, were more often than not in his mind. Literally. He supposed that in some ways having a mother like Ophelia had prepared him to be open to Ren’s own ability.

“No one else could have ever loved and accepted him the way you do,” she pointed out, proving Kaleb’s point that she was currently poking around in his thoughts. “Nor could I have hoped for anyone to love you more than he does.”

“You knew. You knew Ren came to feel the same way about me and you knew I never told him because I was afraid he wouldn’t and it would ruin everything. Yet you never said anything about it. Why?”

Ophelia brushed a strand of hair out of Kaleb’s face before she answered. “Because neither of you were ready yet. You may have matured faster in some ways but you had that self-destructive streak that you needed to outgrow.” Her eyes went pointedly to the glass in his hand though she knew it was just one of many vices. “And Ren’s mind was too fragile. He needed a chance to build defenses. To grow stronger. Even now I can see the psychic tether that holds you two together.”

Kaleb knew that she wasn’t wrong. It had only been once he started finally figuring out a future that he had started entertaining the thought of telling Ren. Once he knew he’d have more to offer him than a functioning alcoholic with no clue what he was doing. It was those thoughts that had led to him slipping and kissing Ren in Cabo. And she wasn’t wrong about Ren’s mind either, even if they had finally worked past that.

“See, I was right wasn’t I,” Ophelia pointed out causing Kaleb to groan because he did not need his mother poking around in those thoughts and memories. He pulled back out of her arms and made a shooing motion at her.

“Okay, playtime in my head is over. And don’t you dare bring that up with Ren. If he knew that you knew he’d turn ten shades of red and never be able to look at you again. He’s trying very hard to pretend that you have no idea that we’re having sex.”

That caused his mother to chuckle and move away. “He does remember that I know my son, right? What else would I think you two have been up to? Besides, it’s not as if I didn’t always hope—or know—that you two would end up together.”

“Oh so now you’re a seer?”

“No, but I do have eyes, Kaleb, as well as the added privilege of knowing what you two think and feel when around each other. It’s also how I know you’re going to be okay. Both of you. You’ll get through this the same way you always get through anything.”

While Kaleb knew that was the truth, he couldn’t help but sigh anyway. “I’m not sure I’m ready to go back there later." It was clear to both were there was. "I feel at such a loss about what to do in the face of it all.”

“You’re going to do what you can and then you’re going to let it go and focus on the future. On your finals. On graduating and starting your life. And in the meantime, if you need to, you’re going to come back home this weekend. You and Ren still haven’t settled on an apartment, correct?” With Kaleb’s nod, Ophelia took that as an agreement that it was decided then. “Good. Now go back to bed before Ren notices you're gone and worries even more about you.”

Kaleb’s mother swept by him and placed another kiss to his head before leaving him in the kitchen to finish his drink and then do as he had been told. After all, one did not argue with the logic of Ophelia Charleston Langston.

May 7th, 2020

It was a nice enough day, and quiet enough on campus, that Kaleb and Ren had decided to sit outside on the lawn of the quad to study under the shade of one of the trees rather than being locked away in Kaleb’s room to do so as usual. It had started out as studying anyway. After a while Kaleb had stretched out on his back on the grass.

It was how he was now, though he had shifted to rest his head in Ren’s lap while the other continued to read, Kaleb’s own book abandoned to lay across his chest and Ghost draped over it asleep. Kaleb’s own eyes were closed and while he looked to be asleep he was far from it. In quiet moments like this and when Ren was absorbed in other things, Kaleb knew his thoughts became more like background noise.

“Two days of classes left,” he voiced out loud, his eyes remaining closed as he did. “Or three I suppose. Just little over a week until finals. Three weeks until graduation.” Not that Kaleb was keeping count or anything,

“Seven days since anything tragic or overly weird has happened. We may just survive yet, Angel Face.”

Ren made an indulgent ‘hmm’ sound, not looking away from his book as he answered Kaleb, the perfect picture of someone entirely absorbed in his book. The campus was going through some wild times. People were in a weird sort of mood, with finals and graduation looming in the corner, Ren had little time to worry about anything else.

He ran his fingers through Kaleb’s hair idly, patting the other’s head in a placating manner. “Don’t jinx things. Let’s just enjoy the peace while we can, hm?” It wasn’t that Ren believed in being superstitious. But at times the school was really much too out of luck. It didn’t make sense that no one could learn a single thing about two deaths now on campus. And it made even less sense that the school administration was taking so little action about it.

Just a few weeks, Ren thought silently as he continued to stroke Kaleb’s hair idly.

It would be such an easy thing right now for Kaleb to join Ghost in falling asleep. At the moment things were peaceful. Normal almost. Laying there as he was with Ren’s fingers running through his hair one could almost pretend that nothing bad had happened at all. That this hadn’t been the semester, or year, from hell.

Almost.

In truth it was going to be a while before there was any forgetting what had happened here even as life moved on. “I know they offered the pass/fail option, but you’d think with two deaths in the same semester we’d get to automatically pass finals. There’s got to be some clause in the school’s rules that accounts for that right? ‘In the event we fuck up and let students die, all remaining students will not have to deal with finals.’ ”

Ren gave a low chuckle at that. Wouldn't everyone like that? It was definitely a nice thought to think about. But not something that was likely to ever happen. "As if things could ever be that easy for us," Ren said, sighing a little.

But he would rather go through with finals then just graduate without the proper procedures. It would be too terrible to think about if his three years at Havisham came to an inconclusive end.

Kaleb knew that Ren was right. Things could never be that easy for them. As it was Kaleb was just waiting for something to happen that would ruin reading week or finals and make them even harder. The rate things were going he wouldn’t be surprised if the interdimensional pocket that Havisham rested in decided to implode on them.

“I guess it is too much to ask at this point.” It wasn’t as if Kaleb was worried about passing his finals. It was just that with everything going on, the way things had changed, and now knowing what he was going to do once they left here, he was ready to close this chapter of his life.

Just three more weeks.

“Though it would get you out of the Offensive Magic final if it was a thing,” Kaleb helpfully pointed out.

Ren groaned, unable to help it. He knew that signing up for Offensive Magic really hadn't been his brightest move. He had been after the fact that his best friends were in the same class and he wanted to spend as much time with them as possible. But his talent for the subject was truly minimal.

Well, at least he had the theory down pat. It was only the practical parts of it that bothered him. Though hopefully he could bank on the theory section pulling him up and giving him a pass. All he needed was that, really. Given that it was already his last semester, nothing short of that would really affect his average.

"Don't even remind me," he sighed, aggrieved. "Though I suppose at least in the future I won't be completely useless when it comes to offensive magic." Or at least, he hoped.

“Are you counting on a future where you won’t have to be completely useless at it?” Kaleb had taken it as a just in case. It didn’t hurt for every magic user to know some offensive magic should the need arise but it wasn’t where his talents lay. His magic was better used for twisting reality, or at least others perception of it, then it was trying to scorch the Earth by throwing around fireballs. He got by on subterfuge, not direct assault.

Still, it wasn’t a final that he was worried about himself passing. They were both doing well enough in their classes that they’d have to totally bomb their finals in order to no graduate and Kaleb didn’t see that happening. If he did, he’d be a lot more worried about studying than he was.

“On the bright side, the rest of finals should be a breeze. Though I may have to rethink my Ritual Practice final project since I’m now fresh out of virgins to sacrifice for it.” Kaleb finally opened his eyes and looked up at Ren, a teasing smile causing his lips to curl upward.

The comment didn't fail to elicit a blush, as Kaleb no doubt intended, Ren’s cheeks filling with a light pink. But it did earn him a shove on the shoulder—none too gentle either, lest Kaleb think he was a pushover. "I wouldn't think that would be a problem for you, no one's stopping you from going out to look for more." Because two could totally play at the game.

He didn't think that he needed to count on a future where Offensive Magic was the norm. If that were the case, it would be a scary future indeed. However if the last semester at Havisham had taught Ren anything, it was that one could never be too careful. It was too late to regret, better to prevent. "You can never be too careful, I think," Ren said simply.

Kaleb couldn’t help but laugh, but even as he did he uttered an “ow” and clutched his arm like he was truly wounded. “Hey now. I’m a delicate flower here. Easily breakable,” he protested even while he was still grinning. He loved seeing that blush on Ren’s cheeks too much to have not teased him.

“I suppose I could go out and find more but I’m kind of attached to the one I went and ruined.” He gave Ren a wink. All joking aside, there was no worry of Kaleb doing such a thing. There was no reason to, not anymore.

“Never be too careful hunting down fresh virgins? I suppose you’re right.” Well, most of the joking aside. “Maybe I can whisper naughty things in Latin that will not sound dirty at all because I don’t think anything can manage to sound dirty in Latin.”

Ren laughed, tickled by Kaleb’s antics. He never thought about things like what he would do if Kaleb decided that someone else was far more interesting compared to him, never wondered about the eventuality of it. Something that had started out as a joke would remain so. But part of him did suppose that perhaps that was him being foolish—simply living in the moment that he had with Kaleb in this happiness. No one would know for certain what the future entailed. And it was naive to think they wouldn’t encounter any problems.

But it was a discussion for another time.

“I meant you can never be too careful where magic is concerned, silly,” Ren told Kaleb, going back to stroking his hair now that Kaleb had mostly settled down again. “If the crazy magic of the school is anything to go by recently. It’s better to have something you can fall back on.”

“As long as there’s not another power failure before we escape out of here.” Kaleb shuddered at the thought. Of all the weird shit that had happened this semester that was one of the worst. True, they had managed to make the best of it and it would have been a lot worse if they hadn’t. If he had just been focused on how cut off from his abilities it made him then it would have been unbearable.

Kaleb supposed they were both lucky in that neither one of them had magic that they couldn’t control. There was always the possibility of a mishap with him casting a spell but the odds of that were slim and unlikely to cause a widespread problem. Though now that he thought about it with all the ways magic was going crazy lately, maybe he shouldn’t be so quick to jump to that conclusion. At this point he supposed Havisham could make anyone go haywire. “Hopefully, it’s not something we’ll have to worry about in Boston.”

No. Boston was going to be their new start. A place of new beginnings. As much as Ren was grateful for his education, he also knew he was ready to move on to a new page in his life, a place that was hopefully better and brighter—filled with so much more happy occasions ahead, with Kaleb at his side.

Boston had definitely looked promising. Ren recalled the night spent at the Langston family home and each other night spent there together with Kaleb with much fondness.

“No, let’s hope it’s not,” he agreed.

Glimpses of the Past

It was his favourite spot in the playground—no, the entire school. A small space shaded by the bridge above; a little niche that people—namely adults—couldn’t spot just standing on the periphery. It was cool too, with a nice breeze always present. Ren liked reading there. He could sit and read for hours and hours, never moving away from his spot.

And now this boy occupied it.

Ren went up to the boy, clutching his sketchbook tightly in his arms, like a shield. He was probably around the same age as Ren—slightly taller than Ren by a few inches, with big, dark eyes and hair as black as night.

“I like this spot very much,” he explained. “Can we share it?”

Kaleb was occupying the space because his mother had urged him to make friends with the boy before him. Something about him needing a friend and someone to look out for him. At the time he had just shrugged and told her whatever, going along with it.

Now looking up at the slightly smaller boy, Kaleb decided that’s just what he was going to do.

“Sure.” He scooted over so that there was plenty of room for the both of them, his own book open and sitting in his lap.

“I’m Kaleb,” he offered with that lopsided smile of his.

Ren stared at the other boy back with big brown eyes, and nodded, but didn’t offer a name or say anything at all. Instead, he sat down in the space that Kaleb had offered, the shade of the trees above them giving ample cover from the rest of the world and the noisy other kids running in the yard some distance away.

He opened his book to a page marked out with a folded ear, carefully pressing it back into its flat surface and retrieved a pencil from his pocket.

The book was filled with rows of neat handwriting, with lines and lines of it written all over the page and the odd drawing or two—remarkable life-like for a doodling of a seven year old.

He raised his pen and began to write, not looking up or away from his book for even the slightest second, with only small breaks in between so he could shift his position—the latest one so he was stretched out on the grass beside Kaleb, lying on his stomach with his nose still buried in the book.

Most kids would have been put off by the quietness that Ren displayed and usually Kaleb himself was bursting with an almost dramatic need to be noticed at times. There was something about sitting here with him now though that was relaxing and seemed to center Kaleb in a way that he normally didn’t feel.

So while Ren wrote, Kaleb read. The two in companionable silence.

It wasn’t until later that Kaleb looked up from his book and back over at the other boy.

“Can you keep a secret?”

The boy hadn’t gone off. Most people would leave Ren after realising that he wasn’t going to answer them. Some even scolded him. Ren had tried to make friends since it was what his mother wanted. But that never went well.

But this boy didn’t scold him or call him names. Instead, he spoke to Ren and looked him in the eyes.

Ren turned to look at Kaleb, propping himself up on his elbows. He gave a determined nod.

That was good enough for Kaleb. He glanced around to make sure that no one was paying them any attention. No one was but it didn’t hurt to be careful. His parents stressed that at him often enough.

At seven there wasn’t much that he could do. He was still learning after all, the magic within him just starting to bud but he was always showing to be wickedly smart and quick to pick up on things.

Glancing around, he found a small rock and picked it up. Holding it in the palms of his hands, Kaleb focused on it very hard. At first it seemed like nothing was going to happen but after a moment the rock shimmered and now appeared to be a flower laying in the palms of his hands.

Ren watched as the other boy moved, seemingly looking for something, Ren’s face filled with a youthful curiosity. When the rock shimmered in the sunlight and changed its shape, he let out an awed gasp.

The petals were a deep purple, in the warm morning sun, they looked almost blue. Ren sat up in a hurry then, looking from the flower in Kaleb’s hands back to the other boy’s face and then back again. His eyes seemed to grow rounder each time.

Then, from the corners of his small pink lips, the start of the first smile Ren had in two years since he and his mother had moved to this new city.

“It’s so pretty!”

Kaleb smiled back. He enjoyed showing off his magic and so rarely got to do so outside of home or when his mother had other people like them over to the house. And he could see the wonder in his eyes as he looked at it.

The illusion couldn’t hold forever through and the flower shimmer back into the rock that it had been before. It caused young Kaleb to sigh. “It doesn’t last very long. Someday I’ll be able to make it stay longer. You’ll see.” He said it with such conviction that not only would that happen, but that Ren would be around to see it.

Ren met their eyes, then, purposefully, dropped his gaze and continued walking on to his own desk, like he hadn’t heard any of it.

His classmates resumed talking, lowering their voices just slightly, not shifting from their positions. Even seated six feet of distance away, Ren could still hear snatches of their conversation. Brief mentions of words that no twelve year old ought to know.

Ren blocked it all out.

It wasn’t the first time. And it would hardly be the last. He opened his notebook on the desk and continued to write in it, smiling at the lopsided smiley face that Kaleb had drawn on the last page when he had been bored and trying to get Ren to pay attention to him.

Normally, Kaleb would have walked with Ren to class but he had gotten held up after his last class and hadn’t been able to make it in time to catch up with him. A few minutes later he dropped down into his usual seat next to Ren.

“Susie Perkins just can’t get it through her head that I’m not interested. I thought I was going to have to crawl into my locker to get away from her,” he rattled on as he settled in. It wasn’t until a moment later that he glanced over at Ren and then he noticed the group up front still huddled together and glancing back at them now and then.

“They’re not bothering you again are they?”

Ren shook his head. The words of others didn’t hurt him anymore. He learned to shut out the whispers and the supercilious looks and focused, instead, on his friend next to him: the slight crease in his brow, the anxious downturn of the corners of his lips.

“I’m good at ignoring things that don’t matter.” With a smile, shrugging off opinions he cared little for with practiced fortitude.

He continued to write in his book. “Maybe you should tell her that.” Ren paused, thinking, counting silently in his head. “Again. Maybe the third time’s the trick.”

Even with Ren’s reassurances that it didn’t bother him, Kaleb glared back at the other kids until they finally looked away. It wasn’t the first time that Kaleb had to say or do something because something was being said about Ren. It was usually when Ren wasn’t around because he knew that Ren wouldn’t want him stepping in when he said it didn’t bother him.

Kaleb knew better though and he wasn’t going to let anyone look down on his best friend.

“Has it only been twice now? It feels like it’s been more than that,” Kaleb mused before his gaze returned to Ren,

“You’re better than them. You know that right?”

The kids in the corner caught Kaleb’s glare and fell into a muted disarray before breaking off, returning to their individual spots scattered all around the classroom, the whispers moments ago effectively stoppered—for a time.

Kaleb had that magnetic presence; the playful smile that always seemed like he had more to share with you, a secret you had to coax out of him, a solid clap on your shoulder in camaraderie, a brilliant idea for a prank or a good laugh, he had that wondrous ability to draw people to him—and not only that, but to make them listen too. He could have anyone one he wanted: any endless row Susie Perkins waiting in line to be his friend.

And for some unfathomable reason, he’d chosen Ren.

Ren looked up, tapping Kaleb’s nose cheerfully. “How could I not? You remind me every day.”

It was also a time when he was starting to figure out why he had no interest in the Susie Perkins of the world—even though Susie had done some blossoming herself and was now attracting the attention of other boys. While all those boys were noticing Susie Perkins, Kaleb was noticing them.

There had never been an obvious tale tell signs that you heard some talk about, like how parents always knew their child were gay because they got into their mother’s closet to wear their heels or put on their makeup.

Kaleb was simply Kaleb, who may have had a bit of a flare for the dramatic, and he happened to like boys. The problem lay in the fact that there was one particular boy that he realized he had pretty strong feelings towards.

The pair sat in Kaleb’s bedroom working on homework when Kaleb looked over at Ren. “Hey Ren? Can I tell you something?”

Ren was lying on Kaleb’s bed in the Langston family home, his presence here becoming a fast constant, with Kaleb’s mother always offering to put Ren up for a night when Sofia couldn’t make it home that night to rush a deadline.

“—Hm?” Non-committal, tapping the pen against his cheek as he mulled over a better word for ‘wonderful’. “What’s that?”

He looked up at Kaleb, the answer coming to him with a sudden clarity. Spectacular, perhaps. Or fanstastic.

“I’ve been doing a lot of thinking and I realized something—” Well, Kaleb had realized to somethings but he figured that it was best to start with the one and then he’d decide what he’d do with the other thing that he had come to realize—something that seemed much more important than the first and not something to just blurt out.

He looked into Ren’s eyes for a moment before he finally blinked.

“I’m pretty sure I’m gay.” He paused. “Okay, not pretty sure. I’m sure. I’m gay.”

Ren blinked in return. Eyes round and taking in all of Kaleb, the tense set of his shoulders and the expectant look like he thought Ren would jump up at him all of a sudden.

“Okay?” He tried, not entirely comprehending. “And so?”

It was almost as if Kaleb expected a sentence to change their friendship. What a ludicrous thought.

Kaleb waited a beat and then shrugged. “I dunno. I felt like I needed to tell someone and who else was I going to tell?”

There were plenty of people he could have told, and he would end up telling, like his parents. His other best friend Miles. But Kaleb almost always told Ren everything first. It wasn’t as if he was ashamed about it and he never would be. “I just needed to say it and get it out there.”

He wasn’t so sure he was brave enough to say the other thing yet.

There was a sensation like being left suspended in mid-air, a tension that Ren couldn’t quite place a finger on. He wanted to know what it was.

Fully paying attention now, Ren set aside his book and peered curiously at Kaleb. Perhaps his friend was afraid. Perhaps the fear of whispers behind turned backs and scornful looks was not something that only Ren had; perhaps Kaleb worried too.

There was steel in Ren’s eyes when he spoke again, firm in his conviction. “Kaleb Langston, you’re my best friend. You always will be. Doesn’t matter if you like boys or girls or aliens. Nothing will change the way I feel about you.”

Ren’s grin was wide, holding up his pinky as proof. “I promise.”

“Aliens?” The ridiculous idea was enough to chase the other thought far enough into the back of Kaleb’s mind that he didn’t worry for the moment about Ren finding it out as he grinned back and hooked his pink around Ren’s in return.

“Always and forever,” he promised in return. A promise that he’d do what he had to keep because the important thing was always being there by each other’s side no matter what. As long as they had each other nothing else ever seemed to matter.

He’d checked with Miles. There had been no plans for a council meeting that evening.

And the Langston parentals didn’t get back from that senate gathering till the end of the week.

In retrospect, he was probably too naive; too blind to the fact that even if his world revolved entirely around Kaleb’s, Kaleb’s clearly did not.

Walking in through Kaleb’s room door, expecting his friend to be hunched over grimoires absorbed in the dusty old tomes meant that seeing the truth in front of him felt like a rude slap across the face—two bodies entwined on the bed, Kaleb’s pants around his ankles with the other boy’s calf hitched on his ankle and fingers digging into his arms, the soft, rhythmic slap of flesh meeting flesh and pleasure-filled moans falling from Kaleb’s lips, a sound unlike anything Ren had ever known his friend to be capable of.

Ren stumbled, half-falling, retreating back out to the corridor beyond Kaleb’s room, shock causing words to fail him for once. “I— I didn’t— Sorry—” What was he here for? The purpose eluded him now, in the face of the real reason for Kaleb’s furtiveness. Of all the things, Ren somehow hadn’t expected this. “Didn’t mean to—” Intrude. He had been the intruder in this picture. The unwanted and unwelcome invasion.

“Sorry!” He fled the scene.

He didn’t know yet who their third roommate would be since it hadn’t ended up being Miles, but Ren was with him and that’s all that mattered to Kaleb.

“I suppose it could be worse,” Kaleb stated as he sat down another box of their stuff. It wasn’t as if the dorms in Bell House were the height of luxury. “I’m not sure what that musty smell is, but at least we’re together.”

Ren was struggling under the weight of his boxes of books, heaving it onto the table before he could catch his breath enough to answer Kaleb.

“It’ll be fine after we air out the place for a bit,” he said, hopeful. Ren wasn’t a stranger to small houses and cramped spaces. Even if his mom was earning a lot more now than she used to, it hadn’t always been that way. Ren remembered that small one-room apartment they had been in before, back when they only just moved to Boston.

He went to a stack of bottles he had placed by the sofa earlier, grabbing two and walking over to hand one to Kaleb. “Here, drink up. We’ve got more unpacking to do too after this.”

“Ugh. The manual labor of it all,” Kaleb whined. He gave Ren a pout for a moment before he took the bottle.

Unlike a lot of freshmen who had their families helping them move in, their parents had all been too busy to do so. It had left Kaleb and Ren on their own to carry all of their stuff into their new dorm and it wasn’t until they started doing so that they had both come to realize that dragging along the majority of their book collections might not have been the best idea. However, Kaleb had felt that he’d need each and every grimoire that he had brought with him.

“It’s times like these that I wish I should just magic it all in here and then problem solved.” The telekinesis spell he knew though wasn’t meant for lifting heaving boxes of books.

Ren took a towel he kept in a small duffle he brought and wiped the beads of perspiration from Kaleb’s face wordlessly, like it was the most natural thing in the world, chuckling when he heard Kaleb’s solution. “I’d rather not have my books flying all over the place and ending up ruined, if it’s all the same to you.”

Magic was great. It was at times even convenient. But many of the things that could be done by hand was less easily accomplished with something as wild and uncontrolled as magic. Ren had learned that the hard way a few times.

“Hey. That was one time.” The pout was back for a moment before Kaleb smiled. Coming from a line of warlocks and magic users, he knew he had an advantage over those who had suddenly found themselves with magic and no guidance. To him Havisham was a three year sidetrip to get even better than he already was and to use it as an excuse to take his time to figure out what course his life was going to take.

Right now he was content to take the one his father pushed on him. First, Havisham and then—”I can’t believe the societies don’t do initiation picks until spring term.” It was pretty much a given that he’d be tapped for the Order of the Golden Flame. Legacies like him were rarely not tapped but it was known to happen.

Ren started to open up some of the boxes, lifting some of the books he had out of them and placing them onto the tables. He had to think of a way of categorising these on the shelf. Perhaps by genre. Or alphabetical order. He was less concerned about joining any societies since unlike Kaleb, he knew he had very little likelihood of getting tapped for any.

“Don’t worry about it. Your father was part of the Order, wasn’t he? I’m sure you’ll be tapped.” He counted ten books out, then went back to the box for more.

Kaleb gave a shrug in agreement. “Who knows, maybe you’ll get tapped as well.” Because it was hard to imagine doing something like that without Ren. Or having to keep secrets from him. It was bad enough he already kept the biggest secret of all from him. Kaleb didn’t want to add more to it. He wasn’t sure that he could do it.

He looked over at his own book of boxes that he needed to start unpacking and thought of the other boxes they had yet to bring in. “Do you think next year we can just hire movers?”

Ethan van Rensselaer, the caption read, along with the names of other initiates in that same year.

The knowledge of his father’s presence in Havisham changed things. The man had walked down these very same halls, had sat in the same classrooms, learning the same things that Ren learned now. What sort of student had he been then? Commanding and imposing? Or quiet and shy like Ren? He knew he was unlikely to ever get those answers. And yet he couldn’t stop himself from wondering and thinking about the man who had contributed to existence but hadn’t bothered to stick around to watch it happen.

This was the way Kaleb found him that day, sitting on the edge of his bed, the society’s yearbook placed on his lap, a carefully blank look on his face, not having moved for ages and not seeming to have any awareness of it at all.

Kaleb watched from the doorway for a few minutes, very much aware of the fact that his best friend was stuck in his head. He knew why. Had heard the same comment that had caused Ren to look in that book in the first place. It was why Kaleb just watched him for the moment to get a read on just how he was handling it.

When he did finally move and entered the room it was with Ren still being unaware of his presence. Kaleb made it known though as he nudged Ren over so that he could sit down beside him. He had always figured that his mother had known the answer to the question that Ren used to ask his mother—after all the two women were best friends—but now he had a feeling his father had known as well for completely different ones.

“Hey, Angel Face. Talk to me,” he urged, nudging him again.

Ren felt raw around the edges, like someone had scrubbed off the outer layer of his skin, leaving a tender, bruised center. But this was Kaleb and not anybody else. Kaleb was perhaps the only one he would allow to see him like this: vulnerable and broken inside.

Wordlessly, he handed the yearbook over to Kaleb, leaving it open at the page where his remarkable likeness stood in the picture at full attention, pointing him out to his best friend.

“I finally know why I got into the Order.” No one seemed to think that Ren would, least of all himself. But the answer now stared them back in their faces.

Kaleb had to admit that the likeness was clear as day. It made him wonder how much that likeness withstood the test of time and if it was still that close, and if so how no one had ever noticed. Though he had to stop and think if he had ever met the congressman himself. He tended to zone out when it came to a lot of his father’s political dealings.

“We don’t know for certain that’s why you go into the Order.” Though Kaleb had to admit that while he had hoped Ren would get into the Order, that he didn’t seem as made for it as himself or Miles. Ren had a much softer heart than either one of them.

The yearbook lay abandoned in the space beside them. Ren didn’t try to touch it again, as though the very act itself would reveal more painful truths to him. Things he ached to know but never really could. “It has to be.” He wasn’t being deluded, he wasn’t being emotional. When two pieces of the same half fit together perfectly, you couldn’t simply ignore it and pretend the truth didn’t exist.

Holding it for more than a moment was too much, however. Ren let out a small, uncharacteristic laughter that hitched in the middle and curled his fingers into fists at his sides. A pause. Then, unclenched them one finger at a time.

“I thought I wanted to know,” he said, finally, softly. “It was a question I had in my mind for the longest time. But now—” He didn’t, anymore. Because knowing changes nothing. The only thing that man had ever left for his mother was a lifetime of regret, and Ren, that bitter, punched out feeling of shame.

There was silence as Kaleb watched Ren, his eyes staying on the way his fists were clenched and the moment he started to finally uncurl his fingers Kaleb slipped his between and gave his hand a squeeze while holding it.

“And now knowing changes nothing right?” Kaleb didn’t need to be the mindreader of the two of them to figure that much out because he knew it changed nothing. “You’re still you. The same person you have always been. Who he is never played a part in who you are. And it doesn’t change the fact that your mother has always done what she thought was right for you or how much she loves you. It certainly doesn’t change how I feel about you and if we told Miles he wouldn’t care either.”

Kaleb used their joined hands to tug Ren closer to him so that they were shoulder to shoulder. “The question is now that you know, what do you want to do about it?” Because no matter what choice Ren made, Kaleb would be there to not only support him but see that it happened.

He thought about it; the million and one things he could do: throw a fit, break down completely, seek out the man that had left him and his mother all those years ago and make things absolutely unbearable for him, do upon him what damage he had done to them. For a moment, it was tempting to transfer even the slightest bit of these feelings onto the man that had caused it all—to cause just a fraction of pain to a man who had walked away from it all unscathed.

But Ren thought of his mother, of her refusal to be in any part of his world, of the looks and stares that they had both endured for so many years. What would it come to, if he chose to ruin them all now? And he looked at Kaleb—his hands tight around Ren’s own.

He gave Kaleb’s hand a squeeze. “Nothing,” he answered, smiling finally. “I already have everything I ever needed.”

“You always have. Nothing is going to change that.” Kaleb smiled back and squeezed his hand in turn. Always and forever,” he promised just like he had when they were younger.

Glimpses of the Future

This was the final time though. They wouldn’t be having to move around their book collections—or Kaleb’s wardrobe— again after this. Havisham was over and so was moving around their things every year. This was it. The apartment was theirs. There was something about taking this step that drove everything home in a way that commencement had not. They were on their own now.

One of the boxes started to move and a moment later Ghost found his way out of it. Kaleb wasn’t sure when the ferret had made his way out of his pet taxi and into the box but he found himself no longer surprised by the familair’s ability to get into places that he wasn’t supposed to be. At least he no longer had to worry about Ghost getting into other people’s things. The only thing to get into now was their own stuff.

Ren entered the room just in time to scoop up the little ferret into his arms. “Well I think someone’s excited about the new place.” Judging by the excited chittering from the familiar. It had been months of deliberating, but they had picked out a decent sized apartment in Boston in the end, somewhere close to where both Kaleb and Ren’s mother worked.

He walked closer to Kaleb and settled on a spot leaning against the back of the couch. The last of their boxes were being moved today and then they would be settled. A new place for the both of them. “Feels like we’re always moving, but at least this time, we’ll be done for a long time. I have no intention of ever packing or unpacking for a decade.” Ren lamented as he stroked Ghost’s soft fur.

“Only a decade? I’d settle for never doing it again. And if we do, it better be after I’ve learned a dimensional shift spell so that I can just move everything without even packing up a single thing.” Though Kaleb doubted that would ever happen. Making it appear as if the apartment was completely empty or full was one thing but teleporting or banishing things elsewhere were not his specialty. “Unless Ghost has more hidden talents that he's not sharing with us?” A sneeze was all the answer that Kaleb got.

Kaleb turned and looked around the apartment. “It’s almost strange not having to worry about anyone else coming through isn’t it?” Living at the Firehouse wasn’t as bad as what those who lived in the dorms had gone through but you still never knew when someone was going to show up in the living areas or kitchen.

Ren leaned down again so Ghost could jump out of his arms from a more manageable height, the familiar having decided enough was enough and exploring a new place was much more important than getting petted—a rare feat, since very few things were more important than that.

He laughed at Kaleb’s observation, then took a few steps closer to fence Kaleb in against the back of the couch. “As if you let anyone in your room that you didn’t want.” Which was true. It was no secret that Kaleb’s wards were one of the strongest in the entire Firehouse.

“The one place I didn’t have to worry about anyone just walking in unless they were you or Miles.” And the latter only did so without knocking if it was an emergency. Which had been a good thing considering how unsafe it would have been to do so after Kaleb and Ren had started being intimate. “I’ll have to be sure to ward the front door later just to be on the safe side.”

With Ren stepping closer to block him in, Kaleb reached out and placed his hands on his hips. “Though now that we don’t have to worry about anyone walking in on us in other parts of the place I may have a few ideas on how we can break in the apartment.”

Ren laughed, warm and delighted, wrapping his arms around Kaleb’s neck. The other still had a few inches on him, but Ren never tired of the look in Kaleb’s eyes whenever he stared up at that handsome face. “Is that so?” he asked, skating the line of playfulness and teasing.

“Wonder what that could be?”

Kaleb grinned and he took a couple steps to the side, taking Ren along with him as he did. “He wonders what that could be,” he teased, “says the telepath.” He knew the minute the ideas popped in his head that Ren already knew what he was thinking. “It’s just a question of should we break in the couch first or the kitchen. Both have been at the top of my list for a while now.”

Ren stepped nicely into the space between Kaleb’s legs, leaning close to answer in a whisper, still playful and light, as though they had all the time to themselves. “Personally, I think I’m rather fond of the shower.” Angling upwards, lifting his head to press a kiss against Kaleb’s tempting lips.

As long as Ren kissed him like that, Kaleb didn’t care where they started. After all they did have all the time they wanted to work their way through all of the apartment without having to worry about anyone interrupting. Ghost had long ago learned to stay out of the way. “The shower it is,” he answered against Ren’s lips.

He set the cup down again, then rubbed at his temple slightly. The short hand of the clock glowed at the number three in the darkness. Ren lost hours like this sometimes, pouring over the latest manuscript. He stretched out his legs in front of him. Just a few more chapters, he told himself, a few more chapters to go to meet that deadline in the morning.

It wasn’t long before Kaleb made his way into the office and set a fresh cup of coffee next to the empty one before leaning down to kiss the side of Ren’s neck. He squatted down next to the chair so that he could lay his head on Ren’s shoulder. “You know some of us have to be awake in a few hours and deal with your mother,” he mumbled.

Sleep never came easily to Kaleb on nights like this when Ren was awake and working instead of curled up in bed with him. Ghost was a poor substitute to sleep with even if he happily claimed Ren’s pillow whenever he wasn’t there. “How much more do you have to go?”

Ren smiled. He didn’t have to look, he could tell by the sound of his footsteps, the way his breath felt against his neck, the soft brush of his lips. He patted the side of Kaleb’s face, taking the cup of coffee gratefully.

“Babe, you should be sleeping,” Ren told Kaleb. That was one of the things that wasn’t entirely healthy about his chosen line of work: his working at these hours. He didn’t mind it so much, and sometimes it was better to sort out his own thoughts in the dead of the night. But when it affected Kaleb’s sleep too—that was something that Ren didn’t like doing.

“Just a few more chapters to go,” Ren answered. “I should be done in a couple more hours. Be good and go back to bed. You need your sleep.” He pressed a kiss to Kaleb’s sleepy face, a smile tugging on his lips despite himself.

“You mean go back to bed because some of us actually finish our deadlines on time and don’t need to stay awake until daybreak to finish,” Kaleb asked in a sleepy, teasing tone, even as he slid his arm over Ren’s waist so that he could snuggle in closer to him.

There were times when Kaleb would put in more hours than he cared to trying to get a project that Sofia gave him done but he never flirted with being dangerously close as Ren did when it came to deadlines. It had been part of the agreement when he took the job that Kaleb’s other ventures wouldn’t interfere with his work for her and so he had to stay on top of them.

“I could just sleep like this,” came a mumble from Kaleb.

It was true. Ren’s inability to meet deadlines was legendary. Even though some of his best works had also been produced at the eleventh hour. In moments like these, Ren felt like he could go on forever like this, in the life that Kaleb and he had built for themselves, holding small things like this close to his heart. He ran his fingers through Kaleb’s dark hair, smiling indulgently, before getting up and forcing Kaleb back to his feet.

“C’mon be good,” he told Kaleb. “A couple more hours and then you’ll have me all to yourself.” Until the next deadline, that was. Ren kissed Kaleb again and walked the other back to their shared bedroom.

Even with that kiss, Kaleb still pouted. Given the sleepy look on his face and the way his hair was falling into his face made him look way more adorable than he would have liked at the moment. “I’d threaten to withhold morning sex but that would just be hurting myself as well.”

He let Ren lead him back to the bedroom and even flopped down on the edge of the bed. “Fine. I’ll go back to bed. All by my lonesome.” He pulled Ren down enough to kiss him. “But that deadline better be done on time if I’m having to sleep alone.”

Ren laughed as he pressed another kiss to Kaleb’s lips, tugging the blanket up as Kaleb lay down. “Your wish,” he answered dutifully. “My command. Now get some sleep. And thank you for the coffee.”

His job at the magazine was going well. He had moved up far on his own merit and not by any favors that Sofia did. She made him work for every thing just like she did everyone else, it just so happened that he was that good at it and many claimed that she was grooming him to take her place someday. At the same time, he had been putting in the work needed to get his party and event planning business off the grand. Grand Illusions was doing well but now that he was having to rework several things he was starting to think maybe he should be laying down restrictions on things he would and would not do.

“Eleventh hour and the bride decides she wants to go in a completely new direction. Bridezillas. I think I need to rethink doing weddings,” Kaleb muttered while trying to rub the stress headache he could feel forming between his eyes. He had a million things he needed to be doing now thanks to the last minute changes but instead he stood in the middle of the kitchen about to give into stress baking.

There were signs. The furrowed brows, the late nights and the way Kaleb’s caffeine intake hit the roof. All of it were things that Ren knew meant Kaleb was facing no small amount of pressure. But none were as certain as the baking.

Ren walked by and couldn’t help the worried look on his face as he came into the kitchen, arms sliding around Kaleb’s waist from the back, catching the last of the muttered frustrations of Kaleb’s newest project. “Well at least if she needs a new wedding cake we’re well on the right path,” Ren pointed out.

He kissed the side of Kaleb’s face. “How can I help? Threaten someone to bodily harm? Set someone on fire? Maybe the bride herself?” Ren teased.

Kaleb made an annoyed face about the cake comment but it quickly faded away since he found it hard to stay annoyed at Ren when he had his arms around him and was kissing him. The fact that he was offering to do bodily harm to another helped as well. “Now that you mention it, it wouldn’t look as bad if you were the one to set her on fire.”

He knew that most of his frustrations came from the fact that when you did a wedding the bride was always right. Only Kaleb was very much of a he was always right mindset and it always took a lot to convince him otherwise. When he did projects for parties or fashion shows he didn’t have nearly the stress or frustrations that he did now,

“I think I need to reevaluate the projects I take on. Or stop spreading myself so thin. Your mother sent me out on errands today as a polite way to kick me out of the office. I haven’t had to run errands since I started there.” Kaleb sighed and leaned back against Ren.

Ren could have told Kaleb that. Multiple times. But when it came to work, Kaleb was even more of a workaholic than him at times. He wound his arms tight around Kaleb’s waist and murmured against the other man. “I’m not going to complain if you do,” he informed Kaleb.

“Maybe it’s time you think of focusing your efforts just on the one thing.” Ren wouldn’t push too hard, but he had always been worried about Kaleb taking on the job with his mother and starting his own company both at the same time. All by himself too. “Or at least about getting some help.”

Taking on too much had always been a problem for Kaleb. Sometimes he just didn’t know when to step back and admit his limits. His reasoning for doing both had been sound at the beginning but now that he was actually making something of himself he knew he wasn’t going to be able to keep going the way he was. He slid his hands over Ren’s and gave a nod. “You’re not wrong, Angel Face. It’s probably time that I choose and stop trying to play both sides as it were.”

He looked at all the stuff he had spread out over the counter. “And I suppose preferably before the baking becomes a problem and we get fat from all the baked goods.”

His launch party was being held at one of the pricier restaurants in the city, an elaborate affair—not something Ren would have chosen. But it was a combined decision made with several other authors of the same company, publishing at around the same time. It had been pretty much out of his hands.

And that explained why he was here, in the restroom, wearing an expression that was almost like a frown, instead of out there in the function room schmoozing with his peers and other editors like his agent no doubt wanted him to.

The restroom door opened and Kaleb stepped inside knowing he’d find Ren there. The moment that he saw the expression on Ren’s face, he couldn’t help but come up behind him and slide his arms around him, wrinkles be damned. He could easily fix them before they stepped back out. Right now all that mattered was smoothing the only person here that mattered.

“If you want, I can create a distraction while you see if you can fit out the window,” Kaleb offered. Rubbing elbows with people and charming them was what he had been groomed by his mother to do. It was an easy mask for him to slip into and was a skill set that had served him very well over the years. He knew that was not Ren however.

“You earned this, Angel Face. You’re every bit as good as any of those other authors out there. Better even.”

Ren turned at the sound of the voice, but relaxed slightly once he felt those arms around him. Kaleb had been his one saving grace the entire night. No—the last few years. All those late nights kept up trying to meet his deadlines, his mother never getting off his ass to push himself to do more—he wouldn’t have survived any of it if Kaleb hadn’t been by his side.

He shifted, turning his face to one side to press a kiss to Kaleb’s cheek. “This is as much for you as it is for me,” he told Kaleb, a hand warm on his boyfriend’s wrist. “I couldn’t have done any of this without you.”

“And now it’s all going to pay off because I can finally give up working all together and just let you take care of me,” Kaleb teased. “Another couple books and we can retire to a private island somewhere.” He said it as if that wasn’t something they couldn’t already do. No, both had worked hard to accomplish what they had so far to prove that they could make something of themselves on their own.

Kaleb reached up and stroked a thumb over Ren’s cheek. “We’ve always managed to do anything as long as we have each other and this is no different.”

Ren smiled, knowing that they were far from retirement for now, but appreciating just the thought of retreating somewhere just the two of them alone all the same. “Maybe in another fifty years when you can’t run away from me anymore,” he teased, tone pitched low in a private sort of voice. “Right now, I will settle for you distracting my agent so I can make a run from it and we can both go back home for the night. Our home.”

Our home had a nice sound to it but Kaleb had figured out long ago that for him home wasn’t a place. Home for him was Ren himself. “Well, when you put it like that I can hardly say no can I?” Kaleb grinned and then leaned in to steal a lingering kiss. “Luckily I know just the distraction so that it’ll be awhile before anyone even notices.”

Kaleb had long since learned that whenever he wanted to do anything of the sort he had to be spontaneous about it and not spend too much time or thought into it because otherwise he was going to be busted before he even got a chance to pull anything off.

He had waited until the early hours of the morning to slip out and do what he needed to get done and managed to make it back home before Ren could wake up and notice him gone. Kicking his shoes off, he slid back into bed so that he could wrap his arms back around Ren, being careful with his thoughts as he did.

Still half asleep and not entirely awake yet, it wasn’t at all difficult for Kaleb to hide his thoughts from Ren. But when he sensed someone’s heat and presence beside him—along with the familiar touch around his waist—it was instinct for Ren to burrow closer into Kaleb’s arms.

“Where’d you go,” Ren murmured sleepily, with a touch of resentment in his voice at Kaleb for ever leaving his side.

“I just had to go grab something. I’ll show you in a minute.” Because now that Kaleb had his arms back around Ren, it was hard to let go again. He took advantage of Ren still being half asleep as Kaleb placed kisses along his jaw and then dipped his head down to place a kiss to his neck and simply breathe in Ren’s scent.

It was times like these that Kaleb couldn’t believe how close he had been to not having Ren in his life like this. There was never any doubt in his mind that Ren would have always been in his life regardless, but he couldn’t imagine a life of not holding this beautiful man in his arms.

“You know how much I love you right?” It was a silly question since Ren knew without a doubt how Kaleb felt about him thanks to his connection to him but it was one Kaleb asked anyway as he kissed Ren’s neck once more.

Ren’s eyes were still closed, but the words brought a smile to his face. It had been awhile since those words induced a blush, since Ren was no longer new to Kaleb’s declarations, but the feeling of warmth that it elicited in him—that was something Ren felt wouldn’t go away anytime soon.

“Love you more,” Ren whispered back, pressing a kiss to the other’s forehead, the closest part of him that Ren could get to. Though his eyelids felt heavy and easily fell shut again and he was still firmly wrapped in the sheets and showing no signs of wanting to leave the bed at all.

Kaleb’s lips curled into a smile against Ren’s skin. He might no longer blush so easily as he once had at Kaleb’s declarations, or his particular thoughts, but he was still every bit as adorable as he ever had been. If it wasn’t for the fact that Kaleb needed to take advantage of Ren’s lack of being fully awake and aware right now so that he wouldn’t figure out what he was thinking, he would have been content to stay like this and let Ren fall back asleep.

“I could spend forever laying here just like this and be the happiest man alive,” Kaleb murmured against Ren’s skin. “Actually that’s a lie because I’m already the happiest man alive. Because of you.” He lifted his head up enough so that he could look at that sleepy angel face that he loved so much. “Ren, will you marry me?”

It was a mark of the late night previously that Ren hadn’t even picked up the slightest inkling that this was coming. It took awhile, but the sudden question produced a wave of surprise and nearly alarm in Ren that had him instantly wide awake, even if his hair was still sleep-tousled and his eyes full of muddled confusion. He sat up then, the sheets sliding off an exposed shoulder as he fixed his eyes on Kaleb.

“Wha—” he almost doubted what he’d heard. But the look on Kaleb’s face left little room for that. “What did you say?”

The look on Ren’s face told Kaleb that he had in fact not seen that one coming. Not about to be let the way Ren was looking at him deter him from his course, Kaleb set up beside him. “You heard me, Angel Face.”

Kaleb reached into his pocket and when he pulled it back out his fingers were curled shut. When he opened it and held it out to Ren there in the middle of it sat the illusion of a flower. It was the same flower that Kaleb had made for Ren all those years ago when they were seven year old little boys meeting for the first time out on the school yard. The petals of it started to slowly unfurl and as they did butterflies appeared to fly out of it before they disappeared in the air. When it was finally done, in the middle of it sat a ring. “But I’ll say it again. Ren Iversen, will you marry me?”

Thick emotion had Ren choked up entirely, unable to voice the flood of memories that the single flower had induced in him. He recognised it from the moment Kaleb held it out in his hand, remembered the first time he’d laid eyes upon it, all those years ago.

He had thought, genuinely, that their life together now lacked for nothing. And Ren would have continued in that state for as long as Kaleb would have him. Things like commitment and a piece of paper proving themselves to the world felt superfluous given the way Ren felt about Kaleb—that he would always feel about Kaleb. But knowing that Kaleb was willing to go through all that for him—that was an indescribable emotion in itself.

“Of course I will,” Ren said, voice shaken, his eyes glimmering as he looked up at Kaleb. “I love you.” And he gave Kaleb a kiss to seal the promise.

The only other time that Kaleb had felt anything close to the joy that he felt now was the first time Ren had told him that he loved him, had been in love with him, and Kaleb realizing what it meant that Ren loved him back. From that moment he had known Ren was his future and had made a commitment to him. Kaleb knew that even with the life they had built together that Ren would always be his future and that this was the biggest gesture of his commitment that he could make.

Kaleb slid his hand up Ren’s back and pulled him in closer as they kissed. “I love you too, Angel Face. And it’s a good thing you said yes because otherwise things could have gotten really, really awkward around here. Like Cabo awkward,” he teased with a smile against Ren’s lips before kissing him again.

Ren gave a laugh at the reminder of Cabo. It felt like an age ago, but he remembered that time being one of the worst moments for him—being apart from Kaleb, and being unable to know what the other was thinking, knowing Kaleb was hurting too but thinking that he was unable to do a thing about it.

“Thank god that’s all behind us now,” Ren said, looping his arms around Kaleb as he settled for another kiss on Kaleb’s lips. Looking down at the ring Kaleb had gotten for him, he said playfully, “You’re never getting rid of me now.”

“That’s always been the plan,” Kaleb pointed out. Even after all these years he was never going to forget Cabo because the week that followed had shown him that there was no living without Ren. More than that, Ren had always made him a better person and kept him on an even keel. Kaleb just didn’t work without Ren and the life they had together proved just how much better they were together.

Reaching up, Kaleb captured Ren’s hand so he could slip the ring onto his finger. “Now everyone else will be able to see as well.” He brought Ren’s hand up to his lips and kissed the back of it before he peered back into his eyes. “Always and forever.”